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Rated: 13+ · Prose · Comedy · #2227177
Sometimes we get just what we ask for . . .

Mickey Finn had been cruising for chicks all evening. And despite some impressively sized ‘beer goggles’, he’d struck out at one bar after another.

"Last call!” shouted the bartender, so Mickey drained his glass and staggered out into the night. As he stumbled along toward home, a brilliant idea popped into the Mick’s befuddled brain - the Bawdy Howse over on 69th street! It was rumored that the notorious strip club offered companionship for hire to discriminating gentlemen who were ‘in the know’.

It was a long backtrack and past three am when Mickey arrived to find a darkened door on a deserted street. Undaunted, he began pounding and yelling, “Open up, I wanna get screwed, I wanna get screwed . . .”

It was only a couple of minutes before a sleepy-eyed woman appeared in a second story window and considered the Mick wobbling below.

"Go away, you'll wake the neighbors!" She yelled down to the drunken man.

But the Mick was persistent and kept up his shouting, "I wanna get screwed, I wanna get screwed . . .”

Eventually, the woman sighed and called down, “Alright already, shut up and slip a twenty-dollar bill under the door.”

Mickey fumbled through his pockets and finally found a twenty. He carefully smoothed it almost flat and after a couple of false starts managed to get it all the way under the door. He waited expectantly for a few minutes, but when nothing happened, he began pounding and yelling again, “Open up, I wanna get screwed, I wanna get screwed . . .”

The exasperated woman returned to the window and asked, “What, again?”

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