Watch how you treat strange flowers!
Prof. Bloem was passing a group of avid amateur gardeners gathered around a new exhibit at his usual brisk pace, when a strident voice stopped him.
“It doesn’t look real,” it said, disappointment evident in its tone.
“Who said that?” Bloem bellowed pushing his way into the group.
“I did, what of it?” a Cockney accented voice said.
The professor looked up until he began getting a kink in his neck. An extremely tall woman in a flower-bedecked hat looked down her long nose at him. When she gave a decidedly haughty sniff, Bloem nearly lost his beloved moustache!
“Madame, you can’t know the difference. Anyone who would wear fake flowers in an experimental greenhouse, mustn’t!”
“Who are you, you insignificant worm?”
“Professor Algernon Frobisher Bloem, developer of most of these flowers. Come to that, who are you?”
“Lady Margo Ambergris!”
Bloem gulped. A major benefactress of the agricultural college and especially his greenhouse!
“As I was pointing out, this thing looks unreal. In fact, I’d go so far as to state, I’m sure it isn’t” the good lady said, waving a finger under his nose.
“I assure you, every plant here is real!” Bloem said.
“How do I know? May I touch it?”
Bloem nodded. He took out a key and opened a small port in the glassed wall. With a gesture, he indicated she should put her hand in and satisfy herself the flower was real.
She did so, feeling what looked like full red lips that made up most of it. Slowly, the ruby petals opened. Until Her Ladyship began to scream.
As everyone, including the professor, watched in horror the gaudy blossom began to devour her arm with loud slurping noises. Before anyone could move, it had eaten all of her Ladyship, even her shoes!