Mistress Magenta fortune teller
Word Count: 962
The smell of incense and sage hit the senses like a hurricane as the man entered the small store. A tinkle of the shop bell provoked an unseen ethereal voice to speak. "Mistress Magenta knows why you came. You seek to know if your wife is in love with another."
"How did you know that?" The man asked in a nervous tone. He gave the shop the once over. Shelves of curios, musty spellbooks, pig fetuses in jars, crystals of every description, provided a macabre feast for the eyes.
"Mistress Magenta doesn't reveal her secrets, but cheating spouses bring me a ton of business every year. Come closer lets get a look at you." Her silk voice beckoned not just his body, but his soul to her.
A few more steps he passed by spell components, and love potions. "Do you think a love potion would solve my marital problems?"
A nasal like cackle came from behind a curtain of bright-colored beads. "How am I supposed to know? We haven't done your reading yet."
"Aren't you Psychic? Don't you have spirit guides?" the man demanded. He took a closer look at the hemlock root. The hairy tendrils looked like a dead tarantula and smelled worse than a corpse.
"I have a much better way of discovering. What is your name? Do you have a computer in the bedroom?" The voice demanded while the man held the Chinese stress balls.
"Chip Finster, and yes." Right after he spoke, Chip heard the click and clack of fingers on a keyboard. "Are you using a computer? Aren't you going to look into your crystal ball?" he asked.
"What do you do for a living, Chip?" Mistress Magenta asked.
"I analyze and study statis..." Chip trailed off because Mistress Magenta made a loud snoring noise.
"Boring." There was a pause. "Do you pin her down and get rough? I tell you that sort of thing gets my cauldron bubbling every time." Mistress Magenta said. Her voice sounded excited.
"Excuse me?" Chip said in a flabbergasted tone. "What does this have to do with my work?"
"Nothing. I don't walk into your office and tell you how to be boring, don't tell me how to do my job." The click and clacks increased in intensity. "Mistress Magenta has your answer. Do you want to see, or do you want to know how she feels about you? Either will tell you what you want to know."
Chip stopped just shy of the bead curtain. They gently swayed back and forth like a portal to another dimension. Can I hear her thoughts, I am scared to look."
"Stop, your bravery is turning me on," Mistress Magenta said. Her voice sounded like a speak and spell.
"This is serious for me. I bet you never had to deal with a cheating spouse..."
"Were you not listening when you first entered? Cheating spouses are my bread and butter. Have you considered she cheats because paint drying is more exciting than you?" Mistress Magenta asked.
"Just make me privy to her thoughts. I am giving this place a bad rating on yelp. We'll see how much business you lose." Chip said in a petty tone.
"Because so many of my clients want to admit they came through here? I have been in business too long to have someone who makes watching grass grow more exciting than him, ruin me." Mistress Magenta's voice dared Chip to retaliate.
Chip clawed at his face. This woman infuriated him in ways his wife couldn't. "Just give me what I paid for, and I'll be on my way," He said with clenched teeth and raised fists.
"As you wish."
"I wish Chip would stop waiting for permission to take what he wants from me. If I have to endure another session of robotic lovemaking, I'll have to leave him for someone who speaks to my mind and body." Chip fell to his knees and remained speechless.
Mistress Magenta wasn't unsympathetic to his cause. "Go to her and give her a night she won't forget. You can cry when no one is looking later."
Chip rose and strode out the door with purpose. Mistress Magenta folded her hands on the desk and waited for the next customer.
The next day Chip burst into the shop. "Mistress Magenta, I need to speak with you now." The glass rattled from the rage in his voice.
"Have you come to thank Mistress Magenta?" she asked.
"No, I am here to serve you court papers. You are a fraud, and I want everyone to know. I caught my wife in bed with the other man." Chip said. His breathing was ragged and shallow.
Mistress Magenta seemed unconcerned. "Chip, you paid for my services. I provided said services with a reasonable degree of accuracy. A judge will throw out your case before you can say a word."
Chip had enough of Mistress Magentas snide remarks and matter of fact tone. The beads clicked together rapidly as he shoved them aside. Mistress Magenta was a complete knockout. "I will show you who's boring." He grabbed her petite form and slammed her down on the desk.
Twenty minutes later, the pair lay breathless and naked on books and papers strewn about the tiny room. "You sure like to bite. I don't know if you have powers, but that felt like magic to meeee." He turned toward the mystic and saw the horrific arachnid face.
Not another scream passed from his lips as the venom took hold. Every fiber of his being was locked up worse than rush hour traffic. He felt the silky strands cover his body before eternal darkness took him.
"I told him cheating spouses were my bread and butter," Mistress Magenta said. A tinkling sound filled the air. "Lunch will have to wait. Dinner just walked in."