The Store-Bought Unicorn

It's not an antelope, not a deer, nor buffalo head is mounted here
No, it's a captured unicorn -- and for your maiden, bring it home.
When your girl lies down for bed, she'll see its smiling white plush head
resplendent with the soft-stitched horn. In bedtime stories dreams are born.
You mount it on a plastic hook. You dust it with a Swiffer pad.
It costs about an hour's pay. It makes you an awesome mom or dad.