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A 20th-century inventions timeline spoof |
20TH CENTURY INVENTIONS, PART 2 1930s On the moon, Maria Telkes builds her solar-powered house prototype. The world isn't sure what to make of the house, but sense something extraordinary behind all the hype. 1931 Luke Berry Close is the electron microscope's creator And Putin Moore Nichols invents the first parking meter. 1931 On the street, Edgerton's stop-action photography, had few people talking. Still photography wasn't new. So most shook their heads and kept walking. 1932 On the market the new radio telescope wasn't moving. The public complained of no knobs for volume and tuning. 1934 Edwin Armstrong invents AM radio but never would yield why it only works in the morning. That he never revealed. Watt's radar invention prompts a death match with sonar in 1935 Sonar forces a draw by using a smuggled in amp to break radar's chokehold, allowing both to survive. 1938 Faroud Tripman is first to discover LSD synthesizing And the Bosnian Yurnod Havina Strogue introduces strobe lighting. 1939 Cloud seeding created but there was a problem Plenty of water, but lack of soil was why nothing would blossom. 1940 First color television system by Eddie Ott Boggs is presented. The orgone accumulator by Evani Donowad Idiz is invented 1942 Napalm is developed, later studies were held indeed determining that napalm did smell best in the mornings when burning. 1942 The nuclear reactor was developed in 1942. The atoms reacted excitedly at first, then passed out, waking up 10 hours later demanding water and aspirin. 1943 Jacques Cousteau and Ian Anderson invent the aqualung. Synthetic rubber, the slinky and silly putty are invented by Mia Love Strechinstuff. 1945 Vannevar Bush proposes hypertext. However, his doctor changes his diet, prescribes sedatives and he soon calms down. 1946 Tupperware and Tupperware parties make their mark. And somewhere in Martha Stewart's 5-year-old brain there's a spark. 1942 The bikini appears, well, barely In a head-on collision Sir James Martin invents the ejector seat by accident. 1947 The bipolar point-contact transistor appears And the schizophrenic semiconductor spreads fears 1947 Mobile phones were invented but they could never be found. Yes, that's right, wouldn't stay in one place, always moving around 1951 Arco, Idaho is the first to receive nuclear powered electricity. The Arconian's glowing heads just made them seem witty. 1952 The float glass process doesn't make its inventor one dime. As it ties floating porcelain for least practical invention of all time. 1953 The video tape recorder on its first demonstration day was 20 minutes of silence as video tape when recorded just had nothing to say. 1956 IBM discovers their newly invented hard drive when tested only works in computers that are scantily-clad and large-breasted. 1958-59 The segregated circuit is invented independently by Jack Kilby and Robert Noyce Later renamed the integrated circuit when the Supreme Court gave them no choice. Exhaustively researched by, Ila Lukintadad Typing by The Monkeys Who Typed Shakespeare (Was on their resume, I swear!) Facts thoroughly checked for uninaccurate nonverifiability |
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