Originally posted in 2016. I'm thrilled to see it was archived. In memory of my father
|As I opened the gates and walked through,
I could see you...even though you weren't there.
Your presence has always commanded strong feelings.
Still...you weren't there.
I took my usual deep breath and wiped away a single tear that I purposely let roll all the way down my cheek so you could feel my presence as well.
As I walked toward your grave, the wind began to blow a slight breeze.
It was almost as if you were waving hello to me.
I took the short walk, which seemed like miles, untill I approached your grave.
I stood and looked in silence for a minute as a second tear rolled all the way down my cheek.
I sat down in the damp grass right next to where you were resting.
Even though I knew it was only a shell of you in there, I still needed to feel that closeness to you.
I talked to you, even though I knew you couldn't respond, but as if to feel normal.
To feel right...
To feel your love and wanting you to feel mine as well.
As if to feel normal...
I kissed your headstone, stood up, and walked away.
And like always, I turned around one more time to say.........
"I Love You Dad".
As if to feel normal..
To feel right.
Until, the next time, the anchor will hold.
Dedicated to the memory of my father. Millard Wesley Smith 1936-2005..They don't make 'em like him anymore. Truly a "one of a kind"...