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Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #2249327
A little Dr. Seussian wisdom for the pandemic. Assignment for sketch writing class
INT. FOREST - DAY

The LORAX steps up to a podium with the World Health
Organization logo behind him (& on podium?).

LORAX
I'm the Lorax
With a story for you.
To help understand
just what you should do.

Across this great land,
COVID numbers are rising,
Because some just refuse
The guidelines we're advising.

Lorax brings out a giant, oversized and asymmetrical BOOK.

LORAX (CONT'D)
So for those stubborn people
Who don't have a clue,
I'm reading the book
"Horton Hears The W.H.O."
I'll read you this story.
That's what I shall do.

Lorax opens the book and begins reading.


EXT. HORTON'S HOUSE - DAY

HORTON is hiding in a dark corner of his house.

LORAX (V.O.)
In the Jungle of Nool
Is where our story begins.
Horton sits in a dark corner
And shakes in his skin.

HORTON
I've learned of a virus
That's floating about.
To protect me and my friends
I just won't go out.

I hope my friends are alright
And haven't met any doom.
I wish I could see them
And get out of this room.
Plus my WIFI's so bad
I can't even Zoom.

Horton looks across the room and out his window at a STAR
that twinkles.

HORTON (CONT'D)
I wish I knew how, twinkling star.

With THREE CHIMES the star floats down into the opposite side
of the room and transforms into DR. TEDROS Adhanom, the
Director-General of the World Health Organization.

LORAX (V.O.)
As Horton lamented
Just what he should do,
The magic star floated in
With a word from The WHO.

Dr. Tedros removes his mask from one ear and lets it hang.

DR. TEDROS
Good morning, good afternoon, and
good evening, Horton!

I'm Dr. Tedros Adhanom
To help your frustration.
I'm head of the World
Health Organization.

HORTON
The Who?

DR. TEDROS
Correct!
Novel Coronavirus 19 is bad
And I've heard your concern.
But you can see your friends!
With a few rules you must learn.

We have global data
Showing the virus' gravity.
And a test where we swab
Up your long nasal cavity.
(beat)
I mean we get waaay up there.

Horton grabs his trunk in response.

LORAX (V.O.)
Horton hoped for
Something else as protection.
Like, maybe a vaccine
He could take by injection?

Dr. Tedros straightens his tie. Horton drops his trunk.

DR. TEDROS
Ahem... not yet.

HORTON
(disappointed)
Really?

DR. TEDROS
A vaccine that works,
We should have somewhat quick.
Because a person's a person,
No matter how sick.

Horton moves toward Dr. Tedros, but he stops him.

DR. TEDROS (CONT'D)
Don't come any closer, Horton!

Here's the first rule
That you must embrace,
Between others and you
keep six feet of space.

Oh! And wearing a mask
I also advise,
To cut down on germs
That are mobilized.
It's helpful to those
Auto immune compromised.

Dr. Tedros pulls out a giant mask out of his breast pocket
and gives it to Horton. Horton struggles, but gets it on.

DR. TEDROS (CONT'D)
Avoid large groups,
don't touch your face,
wash your hands.
Not doing these things
Will put a kink in your plans.

Some believe this pandemic
On it's own will abate,
But a person's a person,
No matter their state.

With THREE CHIMES, Dr. Tedros puts his mask back on fully as
he turns back into a star and flies out the window.

DR. TEDROS (CONT'D)
And with that, Horton,
I'm afraid I must leave.
There's other lands I must visit
Who are being deceived.
Completely undermining
What the WHO has achieved.

SOUR KANGAROO and her YOUNG KANGAROO appear in the window -
both NOT wearing a mask.

LORAX (V.O.)
Sour Kangaroo and Young Kanagaroo
In the window appeared,
And gave Horton a look
That was decidedly weird.

SOUR KANGAROO
What's that ridiculous thing
You have on your face?
Are you stirring up fear?
Oh! What a disgrace!

Sour Kangaroo sneezes.

SOUR KANGAROO (CONT'D)
AAAAHHH-CHOOO!

YOUNG KANGAROO
And ah-choo from me too!
That's a double ah-choo
That we've given to you!

HORTON
Please cover your mouths,
That's the least you could do.
This is more dangerous
Than some seasonal flu!

LORAX (V.O.)
Just then, out of nowhere,
To make things less keen,
Pete of the Wickersham Brothers
Monkeyed onto the scene.

PETE WICKERSHAM crowds into the window.

PETE
How's it going, sheeple?

Just got back from a rally
From Vlad Vlad-i-koff
Who assured us that soon
This threat would drop off.

HORTON
Your refusal to think of others
Is making things worse!
I have some WHO guidelines
That will help cases reverse.

PETE
We've got this virus under
control...

SOUR KANGAROO
Which came from a bat in Solla
Sollew!

PETE
We have our rights, Horton!
Don't tell us what to do.

Horton gets more and more upset and frantic as he speaks.

HORTON
Wear a mask, wash your hands,
Stay six feet apart,
And avoiding large groups
Will do for a start.

Now, following the rules
Will get the virus to quit.
Because a person's a person...
You huge pieces of...

Sour Kangaroo gasps loudly and "clutches her pearls" while
Young Kangaroo shirks back into the pouch. Pete Wickersham
just shakes his head.

SOUR KANGAROO
So much for civility! I'm having a
hot flash!

YOUNG KANGAROO
Do you hop in your mom's pouch with
that mouth?

PETE
(coughing)
Dude, we were just having a
conversation.

HORTON
Sorry for getting
A little carried away,
But I worry for friends
And I hope they're OK.

SOUR KANGAROO
HA-RUMPF!

YOUNG KANGAROO
And ha-rumpf from me too!

PETE
You make me feel sad, Horton
Since you don't have a clue!

Pete Wickersham and the Kangaroos leave, coughing.

LORAX (V.O.)
The Kangaroos and Pete departed
Before causing a scene,
But exhibiting symptoms
That impose quarantine.
But that's what they get,
If you know what I mean.

Horton washes his hands, secures his mask and heads out.

HORTON
With the WHO rules in place,
I feel very safe.
I'll keep six feet of space,
And a mask on my face.
(beat)
I think it's rather stylish!
(beat)
I'll enjoy the time with my friends
They're important to me.
Yes, a person's a person,
That's so hard to see?


INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

The LORAX is still behind the podium.

LORAX
Thanks to the WHO's guidance
Horton was no longer at wits ends.
He could venture outside
And visit his friends.
The end.

The Lorax closes the book.

LORAX (CONT'D) (CONT'D)
In conclusion,.. it's not that hard
or inconvenient, people!


BLACKOUT


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