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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2253204-A-tribute-to-my-grandma
Rated: ASR · Poetry · Tribute · #2253204
Rest In Peace, Lovely Lady
Grandma, Grams, G

I wish you could hear me

I never realized how much

I took the time with you

For-granted

I knew you for 22 years

And yet….all that time

Feels like a split second

22 years

Too long for some

Too short for me

Too short because

Of everything that you missed

One second, I’m calling your name

Out of joy as you return from your visit to Texas

And the next….the next second I’m

Crying your name through tears

As I walk your casket down the aisle

With the girls that you were proud to call

Your granddaughters

And the women you were proud to call

Your daughters

Sometimes I think you’re in the room right across from mine

Watching your cooking shows

The ones you got inspiration from

And can’t hear me calling you

Other times, I think you’re sleeping

Dreaming about times past

And still others….

In the childlike part of me

You’re playing a game of hide-and-seek

Waiting for me to come find you

But with the knowledge that

Your hiding place is up in heaven

With your beloved husband,

My grandfather

There are so many things I wish I could say to you now

So many moments in the past two years

That you’ve missed

Like hearing the stories of my first boyfriend

Or listening to me tell you about my new job

But, as it is in life, I have regrets

About the way I treated you

I wish I hadn’t taken my frustrations out on you

In your final days

Knowing how much you suffered

You didn’t know what you were saying

But sadly, sadly, sadly, I did

You may have not been able to understand them

But I knew my words before my mouth opened to speak them

I wish I’d taken a moment the last time I saw you in the hospital bed

Surrounded by family

To tell you how much I loved you

To tell you how much you meant to me

My heart knew the words and yet, like a locked door, my mouth remained closed

Maybe I felt too ashamed to speak to you

Maybe I didn’t feel like it was the right time

I knew the end of your time was near and yet, I remained silent

And the moment passed and the words, the thoughts, remained unspoken

I will never get another chance to express my gratitude for everything you did

And everything you meant during my lifetime

To you, I was your little helper when you baked cookies

To you, I was your movie buddy

To you, I was going out to lunch followed up by shopping friend

To me, you were my grandma

Every definition of grandma is different

But, in every sense of the word, that’s what you were

I don’t know how to express my definition, not out-loud

But with you in heaven, I think you know exactly what I want to say

And you’re smiling, surrounded by angels and holding grandpa’s hand

Because as much as you were loved in life, you were loved more in death

There’s a casket shaped hole in my heart where you once stood

And sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the often-sudden light-bulb

That goes off in my head that I can’t see, hear, or feel your physical presence anymore

But then I remember that I have photos, videos, and most of all, memories

Your physical body may have been taken

The photos might fade and the videos might be lost

But the memories are forever

Even when I become old and gray

I will still tell the stories of you

The little old lady who stood in the kitchen

A spatula in hand

And told me all the different ways to make a good dinner

When it came your time

Death took you by the hand and, when you asked him, “Was I a good grandma?”

He looked at you, still hearing our pained cries, and whispered

“No, beloved. I was told you were the best grandma.”
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