Remember Jonathan Livingston Seagull? Well, Joe is nothing like that gull.
Joe Seagull gave a look around
in search of a quick bite,
but everything was hard to see
when flying at that height.
He loved to soar above the waves
where they crashed on the shore.
But he was getting older now;
it wasn’t like before.
His eyesight wasn’t half as good
as what it once had been.
And so he’d have to ease on down,
go scrounging once again.
That never was Joe Seagull’s choice.
He had his sense of pride.
But hunger took its toll on him.
He waited for low tide.
And as he poked about the sand
he heard some others speak.
They’d heard where they could get some food
when they were feeling weak.
Joe Seagull listened closely then,
although he had some doubt.
He knew that seagulls made things up -
that’s what they’re all about.
Yeah, never trust a seagull’s word.
They tend to fib and lie.
It’s just the way that seagulls are.
No one can tell you why.
But if there was some truth to this
Joe Seagull had to know.
He had to find some nourishment,
someplace where he could go.
When they took off he followed them
away from the hot sand.
He didn’t have to go too far
‘til they began to land.
He thought that they were kidding him.
This couldn’t be the spot.
He looked around and they were in
a fast-food parking lot.
And there were people in some cars.
What were they doing there?
The other seagulls wandered ‘round
without a singe care.
And sure enough some food was dropped.
It landed on the ground.
Right as the morsel touched on down
the seagulls gathered ‘round.
Joe Seagull got to have his share.
He had to move in fast.
He learned to keep a sharp eye out;
you lost if you were last!
There were some pigeons with them, too.
But they were kind of tame.
And they were not as good at this;
the seagulls owned this game.
So now Joe spends most all his time
among the stores and shops.
He’s given up the salty surf
for pavement and blacktops.
And Joe will tell you, it’s no lie,
McDonald’s fries are best.
He’s tried them all and he can say
they’re better than the rest.