A trip to the Twilight Zone (WC 298)
Sundays With Auntie Lulu
When I was a kid, every Sunday afternoon my family entered the twilight zone when we visited crazy Auntie Lulu, Momma’s older sister. One visit, when I was eight years old, sticks with me all these years later.
Daddy drove the Buick down the side roads as fast as he could to ‘blow the carbon out’ of something or other. This made Momma mad, and they fought all the way to Auntie Lulu’s. Thinking back, I believe they were acting out…out of nervousness. They never knew what Auntie Lulu might do.
Just before we turned down her street, Daddy said, “I wonder what ‘Auntie Loony’ will be serving. Probably that God-awful meatloaf.”
“Her name is Lulu, and her meatloaf is delicious!” Momma was very touchy about the fact her sister was bat-poop crazy.
“You best be cleanin’ up your act, George Murphy, or--”
“Or what!” Daddy slammed on the brakes. “Are you threatening me?”
“George, really? In front of the boy?”
That was me. The boy.
“Are you, Maggie?”
“I just want you to behave yourself.”
I stayed as quiet as I could in the backseat, so I wasn’t next in line to feel Momma’s wrath. We sat in the driveway for a minute gathering our wits. We would need all of them.
Auntie Lulu greeted us at the door with a big smile splashed across her face and only an apron wrapped around her abundant body. (That’s why that Sunday sticks with me.) Momma hurried her to the bedroom to add some clothing.
Daddy said a quick prayer over the meal and started hitting the wine. Momma squirmed in her seat while Auntie Lulu mumbled and growled and stabbed at her baked potato with her trusty Ginzu knife...
As I recall, the meatloaf was pretty tasty.