He drank so much coffee that he had to write about it.
Cure for the Common Coffee
Grinding, steaming, house-filling aroma of freshly brewed coffee woke John up as it always did.
John stumbled to the coffee maker and pulled the cup of hot joe out from under the drip-drip-dripping spout. That first sip of dark goodness went down smoothly.
Sugar or no sugar?
Cream or no cream?
John chose neither. He took the elixir of life to his desk and inserted a blank piece of paper into the typewriter.
His editor had tried all versions of coaxing, cajoling, and even threats to get John to write on a computer so that he could send his writing in electronically. Had the editor at least taken the extra step to write on paper. Like a normal person. And put that paper into an envelope. Like a normal person. And then affixed a stamp to the envelope. Like a normal person. Then John would have opened his mailbox, received an authoritative looking envelope, and read it on letterhead stationary that he had to start working with a computer for his writing. As it were, the typewriter didn't open emails, so he never got any.
Writing about the coffee shops in his town for a living was the dream job John had wished for since he drank his first sip of coffee at 14-years-old. His English teacher told him that was a looney idea. His parents asked him to get a real job. At first, all these negative people made John miserable. They made him so miserable that he drank tea for a while. He almost failed English in high school because he never knew what to write. When asked what was wrong, he would lamely claim, "Writer's block."
Barely graduated, John went to a coffee shop and ordered a simple, small size coffee. As if struck by lightning, his hands started shaking and the only way to make them stop was to grab a pen and start writing about that divine cup of tar water in front of him. It was basic corner-store paper cup coffee, yet to him it was the best thing ever.
John wrote with such enthusiasm that the corner store owner asked to buy John's write up. The text became the store's window decal. Coffee sales soared.
Coffee shops, gas stations, corner shops, corporate coffee chains all came knocking at John's home and asked him to write about their coffee. Among those offering jobs was the largest local newspaper. The editor offered, "A life-time supply of free coffee and a salary that will shut your parents up."
If John isn't too jittery, he's writing about your cup of coffee right now.
The Writer's Cramp is 20!! ▼