I'm just looking for some feedback and/or critique on this draft of a sci-fi short story.
| The world has gone blind. The top government officials have told us that scientists have concocted the next step in the evolution of the human race. It was a monumental discovery, it was mandatory for everyone to receive, and everyone who got it received $1,000 tax-free. |
So, of course, everyone went along with it. Who doesn’t want free money? Who wants to be left behind?
The world, from what I remember, was a lush and lively place. Full of colors, full of smiling faces; it was a happy place. People would ask you how you were, how your family was doing; they don’t do that anymore. I find that this monumental discovery, which is basically eye drops, makes everything so unbearably bright. Everything is at such high exposure, it’s blinding! It’s all a bright white light. I can no longer look at the flowers, the grass, the trees; nothing. There’s a park I used to frequently go to; because there was an apple tree there. In the summer into the fall, it never failed to produce the richest, juiciest; ruby red apples. I can no longer go there because I can no longer see where I’m going.
Apparently, that’s a side effect that was discussed a day before the drops came out. I don’t remember it, but it’s all over the internet; quoted from the highest-ranking scientist. I forget their name though. I forget a lot of things, but the things I forget about the drops were probably from all the excitement.
Because who doesn’t want to evolve?
But, I can still see the screens of my tablet, phone, desktop, and whatever else there is. And that’s a good thing because I can still work.
I’m a doctor; I get paid to break people’s brain and heart boxes. It’s a mutual decision, really. They feel like they’ve come to the end of their rope, and when they have enough money they pay me, I say I’ll get back to them in 6 to 7 business days because they’re a lot of people ahead of them when there’s not, and then you just smash the boxes when they return!
When the brain and heart box get repaired, I’m told that they’re much happier.
I never do get to talk to them afterward, though.
I wonder what would happen if I leave the operating door ajar the next time I do the procedure?
What a silly thought…
I have a lot of those apparently.