BLUE CURMUDGEON

BLUE CURMUDGEON
Line Count: 40

You sit right down, I'll tell a tale,
a tale that's tall, but true.
It's all about a cranky man
curmudgeon, skin of blue.
Ten years and then another ten
have passed before our eyes.
He'd love to change, I'd love it too
but I have no more pies.

He came those twenty years ago
with eyes that sparkled green.
His love had been a pretty girl,
cu-test he'd ever seen.
He came to me to buy a pie
'cuz mine were all the best.
This girl loved pies, he wanted to
stand out from all the rest.

I loved the man, he did not know,
his eyes saw only her.
My face was plain, my feet were big,
hair on my arms like fur.
I had to put this girl away,
it was my only chance.
I went to see the witch that day,
so she could work a trance.

The witch was old, I should have known,
was well beyond her prime
The only thoughts that I could think were
of my love sublime.
"I'll do my best, my little plumb,"
the witch had promised me.
And so she worked, she worked all day,
then called for me to see.

Spray this on him when he comes back,
he'll turn from her to you.
You'll all know that my magic works,
he's yours when we are through.
I primped and primped and primped some more,
he walked into my game.
I sprayed the spray and he turned blue,
he's never been the same.