Pouring my heart out
|I doubt you will ever read this. If you did what would it change? I held you for such a short time, but in that time it hit hard and fast. So I ran away and pushed you out. Years later I finally got the chance to tell you the truth. Little late I know. Yet I didn't fully tell you everything. You know the hard times I'm in now from my own actions. |
Were you able to hear what I wasn't saying? Could you hear what I was trying to say?
I still love you more than I did years ago and more than even yesterday. Hard to imagine but it's true. Hearing your voice after this long long time made in pure in myself. That I will love you forever.
I hope what I heard you say hidden in the words you used is real. That you still love me but can't let me in again. Even though we both have another. You still think of me. You still love me. Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part maybe not. You have to set your own boundaries for yourself. I'm still hopeful that men's talking with me will only bring your love for me to the front of everything.
Not having the courage before I have it now. I would leave all I have if you just asked me too. Even though we re time and distance apart now, if you asked I would be by your side as fast as I could.
I keep hope alive in my heart that God will make a way. One day I'll see you in the least likely place. I feel that if we ever did meet face to face again we would never let each other go. I hope that's true.
So here is the words I know you won't see but pray they find there way to you......
I love you. I love you more than I can share. I'd be with you in a heartbeat if you asked. I want to be there to hold you and be the one you were keys looking for. To be the man I wanted to be for you. The one who looked at you, who looked into your eyes and seen creation in them. To be lost in the depth. To hold you close at night. Listening to you breathe. Watch your chest rise and fall. To be there when you wake from a nightmare. To hold you and let you know you're safe. To give my last breath of required so that you may have many more. To give you what you want most. And if whatever that is changes I want to be there to give you that too. I want to be next to you. I want to be loved by you.
I want all of you and to give you all of me.
If i am ever alone and without love again. I will not look for someone to fill that void. To be alone is the only way to be unless I'm with you.