Without You

I. Ran. Away
in search of anything else.
now I stand in silence
but your absence is loud
screaming for me to care
I care
but I'll never tell


I'll never tell you
that my heart
is signed with your name
or that men come and go
rubbing, grating against your name
but it doesn't smudge
it does not erase.


Anxiety squeezes my trachea
like a stress ball
holding in my screams for your return.
paralyzing my thoughts of truth
polluting my brain with distortion.
still, your name sits on my lips.
sweet.


I don't remember why I ran
or why I haven't returned
What I know is my feet point toward wrong
and my heart doesn't beat quite right
what I know is I don't function properly with you
what I know is I don't want to be without you
My God, will the angels ever rejoice for my return?