A lonely Guru inherits a fortune from his deceased Uncle and moves to L.A.
NARRATOR: COME WITH ME ON AN ADVENTURE
INT. Morning -Greg Ski Lodge
Carolyn Greg: "Spencer! Yells from room to room.
NARRATOR: SPENCER IS IN HIS ROOM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH HEADPHONES ON TOSSING CHIPS TO HIS DOG. SUDDENLY THE TV STARTS WAVES OF COLORS. HE PUTS HIS HEADPHONES BACK ON.
Booming Voice: "Come to my cave as soon as you can!"
Spencer starts to pack.
FADE IN: NEPAL
NARRATOR: SPENCER IS ON A MOUNTAIN. THE WINDS ARE PICKING UP AND THERE STARTS A RAIN STORM. HE CLIMBS UP THE CREVICE AND MAKES HIS WAY TO THE CAVE. THERE IS A BOY STANDING AT THE ENTRANCE WHO REACHES OUT FOR HIS BACKPACK.
Boy: "Follow me ugh" says the boy leading him into the cave and down the corridors.
NARRATOR: THERE WERE ARTIFACTS OF ANIMALS AND MANY CANDLES. HE WAS SEATED IN FRONT OF AN OLD MAN.
The Old Man: "It's about time you got here"
Spencer: "I had to get past Mom. I told her you were real sick and I needed to go to you."
Grandfather: "Your stay will be 20 years. I will be teaching you the ways of the Guru so you can take my place when the time comes"
Spencer:"20 years! My Mom will never let you do that! (uncomfortable).
Grandfather: "I have already spoken with her. She said you were not much help with the ski lodge and thought it was a good idea"
SPENCER: "WELL I GUESS THAT'S IT. I MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT HERE" SPENCER SAID LOOKING DOWN.
Grandfather: "This is Grunt. I found him in a snow storm when he was small and raised him. He's like a son to me." Grandfather said pointing to the boy.
Grunt: "I will take you to your quarters and get you ugh ugh some food" Grunt said motioning Spencer to follow him.
NARRATOR: IN HIS QUARTERS, SPENCER PUT ON DRY CLOTHES AND UNPACKED. GRUNT RETURNED WITH A PLATE OF FOOD HE HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
Grunt: "Good night ugh to you Spencer" leaving the room.
NARRATOR:20 YEARS WENT BY AND SPENCER BECAME A GURU. HIS GRANDFATHER HAD TAUGHT HIM EVERYTHING HE KNOWS. AT THE AGE OF 36 HE WAS A MAN WITH A MOUSTACHE AND A BEARD.
NARRATOR: SPENCER AND GRUNT ARE AT THE CAVE OPENING. THEY ARE ABOUT TO LIGHT THE FUNERAL FIRE FOR SPENCER'S GRANDFATHER.
Suddenly a man appears from the crevice.
Spencer: "Is one of you Spencer Greg?
Spencer: "I am. What do you need?" (nervously)
Man: "My name is Trey Banacek. I work for Atty Thaddeus Bandersnatch. Your Uncle Gerry has passed on. You are the only living relative that has Guru status. I need you to come with me to Los Angeles, California to claim your inheritance"
Spencer: "What is this Los Angel? How do we get there? Spencer says motioning for Trey to come inside the cave. "It is a silver bird that flies you
to your destination"
Grunt: "A silver ugh bird?"
Trey: "We need to get going. It is a long way to the airport" warming up with Chai Tea.
Spencer: "We will pack and go with you. My destiny awaits in Los Angels" smiling.
Narrator: After they packed they walked through the cave. Spencer stopped for a moment to honor his Grandfather at his alter. He snuffed out the candles.
He opens a wooden box with a Buddha statue on it. There are cell phone, comptrollers and game DVDs. He shakes his head and puts the lid and the Buddha statue back.
Spencer: "We must finish the funeral pyre" running his hand over his Grandfather's corpse.
Spencer lit the fire and it burned relentlessly.
Narrator: The trio began climbing down the mountain. Days went by and the group made it to the bottom of the mountain. There was an oxen cart going by an they asked if they could ride on it to the airport. The man agreed.
THE KATHMANDU AIRPORT WAS BUSTLING WITH PEOPLE. TREY WENT UP TO A COUNTER.
Trey: "Hello, we need three tickets to LAX please"
Attendant: "Well of course! That's $674 a person. Let me take those bags."Spencer: "NO NO NO NO these stay
with us." loudly.
Attendant: "Ok Sir. Calm down. I won't take them. You keep them"
NARRATOR: TREY PAID THE FARES AND THEY WAITED TO GO ONTO THE PLANE.20 MINUTES LATER THEY BOARDED THE PLANE. THE BOYS SETTLED DOWN IN A THREE SEAT AREA. TREY TRIED TO PUT THEIR BACKPACKS IN THE OVERHEAD AND THEY REFUSED.
Girl: "You guys sure are paranoid. It's like you have never been on an airplane before"
Trey: "They haven't. They are a bit nervous"
The Girl:"I'm Alex"
Trey: "I'm Trey, this is Spencer and Grunt."
Alex: "Nice to meet you. I was in Kathmandu helping my parents with their artifacts. I live in Malibu California"
Trey: "I am an Assistant to an Attorney in Los Angeles. Spencer is a Guru and Grunt is his Assistant"
Spencer:"Is this the Silver Bird?" looking out of the window.
NARRATOR: THE PLANE TOOK OFF AND SPENCER AND GRUNT WERE ANTSY. HALFWAY THROUGH THE FLIGHT THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT CAME UP TO THEIR AREA
Flight Attendant: "We are getting ready to serve lunch. Chicken, Steak or Fish"
Narrator: Alex said chicken, Trey said Steak."
Spencer: "Two Yaks please"
Flight Attendant: "Sir we don't have Yak. Chicken, Steak or Fish"
Spencer: "What is close to a Yak?" uncomfortable. Alex: "A cow!"
Spencer: "I will have two cows"
Flight Attendant: "Two Steaks. To drink? Coffee, Tea, Milk" Spencer: "Two teas" smiling.
After the group ate, they talked to each other
Alex: "I'm an Actress. That is a person that tries to get into commercials and movies. You read scripts and act like someone else"
Trey: "I'm an Administrative Assistant. I help my Attorney with anything he needs." Trey said.
Spencer: "I'm a Guru. I help make the world more positive" The plane started descending and circling LAX
Trey: "We are here!" Trey said getting his backpack out of the overhead compartment after landing.
Alex: "Do you have a place to go?"
Trey: "Not really" shaking his head.
Alex: "You can stay at my place"
Spencer:"All right we stay with you. You know enough to know the way"
THEY GO DOWN TO THE WAITING AREA FOR LUGGAGE. ALEX GETS HER LUGGAGE AND WAITS AT THE CURB
A red convertible drives up.
The man and Alex hug.
Alex: "This is Vince. He's my Manager."
Alex: "This is Trey, Spencer and Grunt. They are staying the weekend with us"
Vince: "Hey everyone. Let's load up and go"
Narrator: En Route on the radio played Coldplay. Spencer: "Why do they call it Coldplay?
Alex: "It's a band name. That's all"
Spencer: "Why not call it warmplay or hotplay?"
Trey: "They just don't Spencer"
They pulled up to a house.
Alex:" This is my house. Make yourself welcome." Narrator: The trio put their backpacks by the front door.
Alex: "Come I will show you your rooms" motioning them to follow her
NARRATOR: SHE WENT TO A ROOM AND MOTIONED TO TREY THAT THE ROOM WAS HIS THEN SHE MOTIONED TO SPENCER AND GRUNT TO THE NEXT ROOM
Spencer: "What is this square thing?"
Alex: "Its a bed. You have never used a bed?"
Spencer: "Many years ago. I have been sleeping on pallet." Spencer said bouncing the bed as he sat.
Alex: "It will be comfortable for you. Go get your backpacks"
Narrator: The trio went to the front door and got their backpacks and brought them in their rooms
"We are going to the store to get some grub. You make yourselves at home. I will turn on the TV." Alex said.
Alex and Vince left
SPENCER: "I HAVEN'T SEEN A TV IN YEARS"
NARRATOR: SPENCER TURNS ON THE TV. A VIDEO OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN COMES ON.
Spencer: "What a beauty. I will
meet her someday" moving closer to
THE VIDEO WAS ROAR BY KATY PERRY
Spencer: "Stand out on the edge of the earth. You will be the one in control"
Trey: "Let me explain what is going to happen. We must be at the building downtown Los Angeles by 9:00 a.m. On Monday. There will be a reading of the will. Questions?"
Spencer: "To find ourselves lost here within we need the reasons why So we take this bridge with the other's that will thrive in the great divide" said Spencer
Alex and Vince returned
Alex: "Now we have some good eating. Who wants pizza?" Trey: "Sounds great Alex"
Spencer: "Welcome To The Universe" Spencer says smiling
Narrator: They ate their pizza and drank their cokes and watched a movie. Spencer and Grunt were getting tired
Alex: "I will get you some pillows and you two can go to dreamland"
Narrator: She got the pillows for the three of them and told each one good night
ALEX'S HOUSE MALIBU
Alex: "Good morning everyone! There are honey buns and orange juice for breakfast in the kitchen. I thought it would be fun to go down to the beach this morning. I left swim trunks on your beds" Alex said perkily.
Spencer:"Into the wild. I'm on a mission"
Narrator: They all got dressed and went down to the beach. Spencer did not go close to the water. He just meditated on the sand. Grunt mirrored him. Trey got out in the water and swam. Alex and Vince kicked water at each other and laughed. The group went back to the house after 45 minutes. Alex showed Spencer and Grunt how to wash their feet off with a hose.
Spencer: "To find yourself, you must first lose yourself" walking into the house.
Alex: "Tomorrow we will go shopping. You need to look nice for the will reading Spencer"
Spencer:"Happiness is like the weather"
THE NEXT DAY
Narrator: Everyone was awake and eating breakfast. They got in the car and went to a store called Soul Flower. There were lots of Hippie type clothes. They tried on outfits and hats and shoes. Trey footed the Bill. Spencer found him a new robe in black with gold accents.
FADE IN: DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES
NARRATOR: VINCE AND ALEX DROPPED THE TRIO OFF AT THE FRONT TO A HIGH RISE BUILDING WITH THEIR BACKPACKS. ALEX HUGGED SPENCER.
The trio went through glass doors to the elevator.
Elevator operator "Hi Trey. Got some friends?" the elevator operator said.
Trey: "Business. Just business" Trey said pushing them out of the elevator at his floor. "Sit down guys. My boss will be in periodically."
Trey told everyone to sit down.
A man dressed in a suit and wing tip shoes entered and sat at the end of the table.
Thaddeus: "You couldn't get them a suit? It looks like they are in their pajamas" the man whispered.
Trey: "No sir he insisted on the robe. It is his culture" whispered
Thaddeus:"I am Attorney Thaddeus Bandersnatch. I will be reading the Will of Gerry Greg. So be quiet and listen"
Last Will and Testament of Gerald
To my nephew Spencer I leave my home, my servants, my restaurant, the studio and the Horde.
Thaddeus: "That's it. The rest of you get nothing. Now disburse."
Spencer was shocked.
Spencer: "But I will build a new beginning. Take some time, find a place and I will start my own religion"
A Limo pulled up in front of the building and waited.
Trey: "Here's your ride Spencer and Grunt. Have a great life. It was nice hanging out with you"
(helping them into the limo.)
Spencer: "Follow no path. Make your own."
The limo drove to a huge mansion with gardens and peacocks.
Spencer: "We are here. Oh my this is beautiful" (clutching his backpack)
Millie: "Welcome Master Spencer. I am your Assistant Millie Morgan. You are going to freshen up and then we go to the Funeral."
A tall well dressed man walks up to the front door.
Bastille: "I am Bastille Baumgardner. I am the Butler sir" (loudly)
Freda: "I am Freda the housekeeper. Welcome sir"
Narrator: Bastille tried to take their backpacks and they clutched them to their chests. They walked up the many flights of stairs to two rooms at the top.
Bastille: "This is your room Sir" (loudly)
Spencer went in and put his backpack in the corner. Bastille: "Make yourself comfortable" (loudly)
Freda: "I will bring you fresh towels if you wish to shower" "This is your room Mr. Grunt."
Spencer:"What is a shower?"
Bastille: "It is where you take off your clothes and go into the shower and clean your body and your hair" (loudly)
Spencer: "We just dance in the rain and shake"
Grunt: "I will try this shower ugh"
Spencer: "Then I will try this shower too".
Narrator: Spencer and Grunt took showers and got dressed for the funeral with black robes with gold accents.
Bastille: "The limo is here Master Spencer." (loudly.)
Narrator: Spencer and Grunt went down to the Limo as well as Millie. Spencer and Grunts hair was wet so the limo driver Ari rolled down their windows.
They arrived at the Funeral Home. (Ari opened their doors.)
Millie: "Follow me gentleman." Millie said weaving through the people.
"Everything is in order. Is this the Nephew?" a man in black with red lapel said.
Millie: "Good. I will seat them in the front after they have paid their respects."
Spencer and Grunt went up to the casket.
Spencer: "I will stand my own ground I will tear down myself I won't fade" gently touching his Uncle's head.
The Funeral Director: "Everyone take their seat please" Everyone sat down and quieted down.
Mr. Boris: "I am the Funeral Director Mr. Boris. We are here to pay respects to Guru Gerald Greg. Gerald was a gentle man who had his own television show and had a group that followed him called The Horde. He made things positive around him and helped many. He owned a restaurant called Veggies and was a big supporter of the Los Angeles Zoo. He will be missed"
"Spencer said in telepathy to Grunt: What am I getting myself into? Are we getting closer to the edge?"
At the reception Spencer met many people.
The limo picked them up and took them to the restaurant Veggies.
"Good to see you fellows. My name is Hugh Powers. I am the Manager of Veggies and head Chef. May I offer you some dinner?" Hugh said.
They ate dinner of veggie burgers, sweet potato fries and fresh fruit.
The limo pulled up and took them back to the house. FADE IN: GREG ESTATE
Bastille:(Speaking loudly) The Leaders of The Horde for the past 15 years Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar!
(Wayne and Garth get down on their knees and bow to Spencer) Wayne and Garth (in unison): We're not worthy! We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
Spencer: Of course you are silly men pop a squat there are plenty of pillows
(Wayne and Garth pull up two pillows and sit in lotus position next to Spencer and Grunt)
Wayne: Let me bring you up to speed. Garth and I used to live in Aurora, Illinois where we had a popular cable TV show called Wayne's World.
(Wayne and Garth sing the theme song sporting air guitars)
Wayne: I met this bodacious babe who was a singer with a band and she broke my heart when she wouldn't marry me. She almost married her Agent instead and went back to Cambodia to take care of her sick Grandmother. So Garth and I left and went to L.A. to find a new life.
Garth: Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Wayne: Shyeah and monkeys might fly out of my butt! Spencer and Grunt laugh
Spencer: How did you meet my Great Uncle?
Wayne: Well, we got jobs at his restaurant as Busboys. I have had many jobs in my life, but we are still working at Veggies after 15 years. I'll show you my extensive name tag and hairnet collection sometime.
Garth: So the Guru let us camp out on his property because we had no money for an apartment. He had Hugh bring us leftovers from dinner we heated up on our camp stove.
Wayne: We also ordered Chinese takeout.
(acting like he is on the phone)
Wayne: "We will have the cum of sum young gai please!" Spencer and Grunt laugh
Garth: "That was Haiku."
Wayne: "So anyway, the Guru's show got really hot and others starting coming to the house and camping out. He started teaching Garth and I to be Gurus someday. Excellent!"
(Wayne and Garth make thumbs up gesture and smile) Garth: "Zang! Oh that's excellent in Cantonese."
Wayne:"We don't have your looks, we don't have your money, but we are great listeners, and I can play the guitar and sing around a campfire like a fiend. Garth and I and The Horde will be your loyal servants until we go up to the stairway to heaven."
Garth:" The Horde are mostly college students who are really smart and vegan and want to live their dreams. They will be the next generation of Scientists, Artists, Filmmakers and Actors."
Spencer: "I appreciate that. Tonight The Horde meets us and we will have Smores and a campfire. I will tell you stories of my life."
Wayne and Garth (Singing in unison): "It's Spencer's World Party Time Excellent!"
(Spencer, Grunt, Wayne and Garth go outside to The Horde camp)
Wayne(speaking loudly standing on a log): "Gather around my friends! May I present our illustrious, all knowing, Guru Spencer Greg and his friend Grunt!"
(The Horde are all wearing dark sunglasses and they drop to their knees and bow to Spencer on the ground chanting in unison)
The Horde: "We're not worthy! We're Not Worthy! We're not Worthy!"
Spencer:(speaking loudly sitting in a lotus position on a stump) "Please get up! I am just a man who has lived in a cave for the past 20 years. As you were!"
(The group lip syncs and dances to a song then sits down in lotus positions)