This is the start of a story I have been working on. It is not finished but need feedback
|I open my eyes and see that I am laying next to several women I do not know. I try to move but we are packed in this bunk like sardines in a can. I am freezing, and I notice that I am not wearing anything but an over-sized shirt like a dress. Voices of women crying is heard all around me and the sound of people hushing them saying to be quiet before they come to get them. What do they mean they will come to get them. I am so confused, where am I? When I went to sleep I am in my nice warm bed snuggled with my cat reading a book until I fell asleep, but now, Now I am in a world I have never seen. I do not feel like myself. I run my hands over my body and realize I am nothing but skin and bones. What happened to my nice fat ass, normal size boobs, and touching thighs? Who is this person I am feeling because it is not me. I start to sit up but hit my head on the boards above me. I let out a moan and say ouch, but what I hear is not my voice. I have never heard this voice before. My voice is sweet and smooth, this voice was deep and harsh but had a mellow vibe to it. The women next to me hits me and says, "Etty, be quiet they will hear you and come take you away." Etty, who the heck is Etty? My name is Alisa, and it has been since the day I was born. I do not understand what is going on here. I ask the lady next to me "Who is Etty, and who are you? Where am I?" The look on her face from what I could see in the dark was one of astonishment, like she thought I had lost my mind or something. Sad thing is I really think I have gone crazy. She stares into my eyes and says, " Are you mad child you are Etty. You come here on the same train as myself. We have been friends since arriving here at Auschwitz for what I think was 4 months ago." "Auschwitz, I say to here, what do you mean Auschwitz? That death camp was made in like 1940. This is 2022 and I am only 25 years old. I am not jewish so why would I be here in Poland. I live in the southern part of Illinois in the United States. I do not know you! What is your name and why do you say we are friends?" The women just laughs at me silently and licks her dry lips before saying, "I am Gisella, we are friends, and you my dear Etty have some crazy stories. I guess if dreaming gets you through the long days here then keep it up." "Dreaming," I say, "That is it this is all a dream, duh, I just have to pinch myself and I will wake up from the pain." I reach down and use my fingers to pinch my leg but I can not pull enough skin up to even feel it. Why am I so thin? This is not normal. Hear another voice speak out from the darkness, Stop talking unless you want the SS in here!" "Ok, Ok, I will stop talkingm dang heaven forbid you ever have an identity crisis." I roll over on my side and try to wrap my head around what is happening to me right now. Is this the universe trying to teach me a lesson or have I really gone mental? Next thing you know I will be in a padded room screaming for someone to save me. This makes no sense. I am stuck in limbo here. What does this all mean? How do I get out of this without killing myself or killing someone else? I can not deal with this all, I am going to try and sleep. Hopefully I will be back in my own room when I wake up.|
I am woken up by the sound of a loud female screaming, "Everyone up you roll call in 20 minutes, move it ladies we don't want to keep the man waiting do we?" What do you mean roll call, I should not be here! I should be in my bed snuggling my cat while sleeping in. How is this happening? I feel Gisella shake me, "Etty you have to get up we can not be late for roll call. It could me life or death." I look at her and ask, "What do you mean life or death, just being late to a roll call does not mean I will die." Glaring at me Gisella grabs my shoulders and shakes me, "Yes it does Etty, if you are late they will punish you or worse us all. They just shot Olga yesterday for being to weak to stand for roll call, this is not a joke. Please stop pretending you don't know what is happening here. I can not lose another friend. I will not survive if I have no one to tell my secrets to or talk about my future. So please get up and make yourself look healthy." Look healthy, I am healthy! I look around and see that everyone around me is sickly and pale. They have no hair and some even have sores on their bodies. I try to wrap my head around this and I move my hand over my head...my hair is gone! I had the most beautiful magenta hair. Where did it go. I move my hands down my face and notice they I can feel the bones in my face and my neck shows my collar bone sharply sticking out. I can not with this today! I do not know where I am or who I am. This is something I have never dealt with before. Gisella slams my food cup in my chest, "ouch that hurt! Why did you hit me? "Because you are day dreaming again and we have to hurry. Lets grab our breakfast so we can stand in line, she says to me as she quickly runs what looks like brown water over her face and teeth. "I am not washing with this water it is gross!, I yell at her. All eyes turn to me and the women in front of me spins around laughing as she blurts out, "Suit yourself, you will die by the end of the week without this water. You think this is gross, just want until they serve your breakfast, who do you think you are the Queen of England? I step up to her nose to nose and open my mouth as the words just fly out, "No I am Alisa the small town girl from Illinois in the United States! All the women start laughing at me like I just delivered the best stand up comedy routine ever given. "You have some imagination there kid," said the lady next to me, "They may let you live long enough to entertain the SS for a day or two!"
After this outburst, Gisella begged me to just keep my head down and shut my mouth. She was sure that I had drank too much of the tainted water and was suffering from some type of hallucination or something. I just decided to try and figure this out myself. They women all think I am crazy. I need to try and learn who this Etty person is and just try to blend in. I looked at my arm to see that I had a number, my number was 174584. This was very badly tattooed on my arm, branding me like cattle. Looking up I notice that all the women are running at the sound of a horn. I move the legs of this person to try and follow them. Still trying to figure out what is happening to me, I just decide to play follow the leader for now. I get over to the roll call spot and stand there. I really do not know my place. I start to panic when I see Gisella wave me over. I run to her and she says hurry get in line they are coming. At that moment I see this nicely dressed male officer with a whip walking over to the women standing in line. I look him over and notice he is young and very handsome. He walks with a sense of royalty about him. I lean over and whisper to Gisella, "Who is this man?" She lets out a sigh and states you know who he is but to make this easier on me his name is Kurt Wiesmann and that behind him is the evil..." Before She could answer I blurt out Irma Grese! "How do you know her but not Kurt?, Gisella confusingly asked me. I said, "I did a report on her in school and man was she the biggest Bitch there ever was. She was psycho, like super demented. She liked to get off on watching women be tortured. They ended up doing a hanging execution on her in like 1945." "This is just 1941, what are you talking about, I really think you have lost your mind. If you keep this up they will take you to the infirmary and you don't usually come back from there. So please just stand still and don't speak unless you are spoken too. I can not afford to lose anyone else", Gisella pleaded with me.
The cold wind was hitting my body as we stood there just waiting and being looked over like cattle going to slaughter. I shake and try to hold myself up straight as I think about what is going on in front me. I could hear them calling numbers out not names. I was so focused on trying to figure out how I got here that I guess I missed them saying my number because I suddenly see the man moving toward me with a fast pace walk. "Oh fuck, what is going on? Is he really walking over to me, what do I do?" He stops in front of my face and gives a little half smile like he is going to enjoy what is coming. "Do you have a hearing problem?", he barks at me. "No Sir I can hear just fine, I swiftly respond to him. "Hold out your arm!", he yelled. I left my frail arm out and he smacks my hand and yells, "Your a smart-ass, I want to see your tattoo, NOW!" I glare at his pretty face and flip my arm over to expose the badly done tattoo on my arm. "Can you not read?, he asks. Staring into his eyes I open my mouth and before I can stop myself I say, "Yes I can read probably better than you!" Everyone around me gasped and start to look at the ground. "What did you say to me, he said aggressively as he stepped closer to my face. His nose was almost touching mine. Did you need me to repeat it because I speak very well and there was no stutter in my voice!" Before I could even blink I felt his whip hit my legs but I did not move, causing him to just hit me again and again, never did I move just took each blow like a champ. He stepped back and stares hard into my eyes as I look back at his. "You are stronger than I realized bitch, I have a special place for you today!", he spits at me. They finish roll call and I try not to look like I am hurting as they pull women out of line and send them to do work in other parts of the camp. One by one they start to move away while I am stuck standing here bleeding from the whip marks. Gisella trys to speak to me before she is called to go to kitchen duty but I just wave my hand at her and whisper "I will be fine see you tonight I promise." She cry's a tear and whispers back, "Don't make promises you can not keep Etty!." I am soon the only woman left standing there and Kurt sends his other officers away laughing with them stating, "I will handle this one go one and I will meet up with your soon." As they others step back and start to move away, He walks up to me and half laughs and smiles in my face. I just look at him like I am un-amused at the whole situation. "Are you stupid or just have a death wise you silly girl?" "NO sir I am not stupid, I am not girl, I am a woman and you do not scare me. If I die today I will go out standing tall!!" Looking baffled he steps back two steps and just looks at me. "You have a spark in you, I like that. I have been looking for the perfect girl to keep me company." "What do you mean keep you company I ask?" "I mean a girl that will be willing to be mine and in return I will keep you alive. I am moving you to office duty. I want you to use your book smarts to help organize the office here and in return you will use your domination style to keep me happy until I can live this damn place." "What makes you think I want to be with you? I do not need you to save me, I am ok with dying. If I go I will go out on my own terms not yours or anyone else's." He smiles and says, "Oh you need me and I need a women to use. So I am going to move you to a new barrack in camp and they will let you wear better clothes because the office gals are the first to be seen in the camp." "I can not leave my friend, I made a promise to see her tonight, I can not just leave Gisella here alone she will not survive without me." "Fine, he says, she can move with you. What is her number? I will have them track her down now." "Her number is 18643, and I thank you for this sir." "Call me Kurt and you will thank me properly after you have a real shower, Now lets move your ass! WALK CUNT he yells out loud as the other SS men look at me and laugh.
I find myself in a new place. This is what they call the corporate office. It is filled with many desks, typewriters, and papers. The women in this building are wearing dresses and look a little healthier than myself. Still confused at what is going on and how I got here, I keep my head down and my mouth shut. These people in here look like they shoot first, ask questions later. I am walked over to an office and meet with a woman named Anja who is the prisoner in charge of the ladies working in the office. She looks at me and says, "She looks strong but has no meat on her bones, she will need a good cleaning and she will need to eat something but she will do." The officer tells her that I was to be cleaned, feed, and taken to officer Wisemann's quarters. I am left with this Anja lady and she just glares at me. "You must be something special to have been taken off the work detail and moved here. I am told another prisoner from your barracks is being brought to me today as well." "Yes, my friend Grisella is being transferred with me," I said in a low voice. "Follow me, and we will get you cleaned up and give you a new outfit. Can you type,? she asked me. Type, great question, while thinking to myself, I can type on a computer but have not really typed on an actual typewriter. "Oh yes I am an excellent typer, I said to her. "Good then you will start in the back tomorrow typing the new list of transports we are receiving this week." " For now lets get you down stairs and in the shower."
I followed her down a hallway and then down a set of stairs. She took me to a small bathroom. She told me to strip and they had two women there to delouse me and to sanitize me before I got to actually use soap and water to shower scrub my fail frame. The water was freezing but I did not care. It felt so good running down my body as I was given actual time to properly was my female crevices. They finally turned the water off on me as I stood there shivering. A woman handed me a towel and said "Dry off no." I took the towel and started to rub my body until it was free of water. They handed me clothes and new shoes. I put them on and they they moved me into a small kitchen area off to the right of the bathroom. Waiting on the table was meat, actual meat not just a sliver in a cup of dirty water. I have never in my life actually starved. I eat and snack all the time. How I got here is still a mystery but to see real food gives me a little hope I may not die today. "Come eat and then we will show you to your new barrack." I walked slowly to the table, slide into the chair provided and picked up my fork. "Eat slowly it will make you sick!, said the woman waiting on me. I lean down and just smell the food. The take a small bite. It tasted so good, that I just wanted to stuff my face until I could not chew, but I controlled myself and took small bites. Once I was finished they gave me a drink and then we got up and they had me follow them to the next area.
We walked outside and across to a building. It was a lot nicer than the one I came from. This one had more space. Not as many women piled into the bunks. It was a little cleaner as well. They walked me to the back and said this will be your bunk you share it with your friend and one other girl. "Get settled in because you start early tomorrow in office." She turned and walked away. I sat on the bed and just looked around. The women I see in here are better cared for. Many of them were young and at one time were very beautiful. You can see through the sunken faces and sores we have all gained from the trauma of the transports and the treatment we received at arrival, that one of us had true beauty. I guess we were chosen because they needed to keep the visitors from seeing what was truly happening in this massive camp. How did people not realize that just outside people were being murdered, gassed, beaten, starved, and much more. Did they not care or were they just to afraid to speak up. That is something that you see no matter in what era of history I have studied. It will always be the mystery of human kind. I was so deep in thought about my real life as Alisa that I did not notice I was being spoken to as Etty. I slowly look up and see Gisella standing in front of me. "Are you day dreaming again? I have been talking to you." "I am so sorry, I was lost in thought. How long have you been here." She glared at me and rolled her eyes, I asked you how we got here. One moment I am on work detail and the next I am being called by my number and told I was being transferred." "I thought you were dead after your stunt you pull this morning, But here you are with me. How did you pull this off?" " I stare into her eyes, I could see the happiness and the hope in them, I open my mouth and just say ' I was lucky I guess." She smiles and hugs me. "They gave me real food and oh the shower even though it was freezing it was the best thing I have experienced in months. she says. "I know right, but it is not the best thing I have experienced. I am not supposed to be here Gisella. I do not belong here. I am not this Etty person you all see me as. My name is Alisa, and I am from the future." " Etty you have to stop with all this crazy talk. They will take you away and once they do you will not return. They will experiment on you or worse they will just put in the gas chamber like they did my family." " I am not crazy Gisella, I have never been more sane in my entire life. I am not who you think I am. I do not know how I got here." "You are really off your rocker lately, not only are you talking crazy but you are going to get yourself killed with all the back talking and stunts you keep pulling around here. Do you have a death wish for real, " she was starting to shed a tear. "Don't cry, I am not trying to get killed! I am just confused on how I got here. I just want to go home." "We all want to go home Etty but we have no homes anymore, we have no families, we only have each other. You need to get it together because I will not survive without you. I have lost so much already. I lost my Father and mother and little brother on arrival. I will not lose you too." she said through the tears streaming down her face.I grab her and hug her so tight, I swear she was choking. I slowly let go and move my hands down to grab her hands. "I promise I will not leave you Gisella I will do my best to protect us as long as we are here. Just do what they say and we will be ok." She laughs and little and smiles, "Ok I promise to mind my business and to focus on the task at hand...that is stay alive." "We got this!" I tell her.
As we stand to go look around our new environment, I notice a female kapo walking toward us. I freeze, thinking to myself of fuck what does she want we are not doing anything. She stops in front of me and says which one of you is number 174584? I stand still and quietly answer that is me. "Let's go they are requesting you." "What...what do they want with me. I have not done anything. I just got here in this part of camp today.' I shakily squeak out at her. " I don't ask questions, I just do what they tell me, which is what you need to be doing so lets get moving march it out now." she barks as she pushes me toward the door. I look at Gisella and mouth I will be fine, and I start move toward the door. When we reach the door there is a young SS man waiting to take me with him. He just pushes my shoulder and tells me to move it. I flinch at his touch and he laughs, "You scared of me are you, well good you should be so now move your feet lets go, he spat out at me. "Where are you taking me, I ask sacredly. "I am taking you to your pleasure dome. he says. "MY WHAT? I raise my voice at him. " I am taking you to the person that will keep you alive as long as you keep him happy. Now shut up and walk. he harshly barks out. I just look at my feet and think to myself, this will not be good. I need to try and get out of this, but before i can make my feet try to run we are at a door where he knocks and the little window in the middle slides open. Two eyes pear through it and we hear, "state your business" The young SS officer says package for Kurt sir. The little window slams shut and the door opens. The men look around and then I am pushed inside the building by the SS officer and grabbed by the arm from this new one. He jerks me toward him and says " you are one lucky bitch, this will be the only way you live past tomorrow. now lets move." As he pulls me down the hallway I start to feel my heart beat so hard that it is almost flying out of my chest. I start to feel my breathing get tight as we get closer to the room. He stops in front of it and then knocks quietly. As the door opens I smell wine and flowers. It is Kurt the SS officer that moved me to the new work detail and the one that beat my legs this morning for back talking during roll call. He smiles a wicked little smile and hands the man money and says thanks for the delivery. I am pushed in the room and the door is shut immediately behind me.I am now trapped with this man and there is no witnesses to what is about to happen. I am in panic mood and I can not move.
He rubs his hand down my back and says you look nice and much cleaner than this morning. How is my art work on your legs, does it hurt he asks me. I just stare at him as I try to breathe and can not get my mouth to speak it is to dry. He notices that I am struggling and says would you like a drink to calm your nerves. I shake my head and he turns to his dresser and pours two glasses. One for him and the other is for me. He turns to me and walks slowly trying not to spill the full glasses of wine. He hands it to me and I just down it Did not care if it was drugged or not I was about to die form my own anxiety. "Slow down we have all night no rush." "I cough a little and say to him, What do you mean we have all night?" " I mean I own you now. You are here to make me happy while I have to be in this hell hole. You are gonig to keep me comfortable and sane every night." "How do you think I am going to do that Sir? I smartly remark back to him. "Now now no need to be cross, I am here to help you and to make sure you stay alive. You have a spirit about you take most out there will get off on trying to break down and destroy. I just want to help you learn to keep that mouth shut so I can enjoy such an interest woman. he says. " I am not cross I am just trying to figure out what you really think I am going to do for you. I did not ask to be here in the first place, and I sure am not going to be doing "favors" just to stay alive. Go ahead and grab that gun of yours and open fire because I would rather die than have you touch me." He puts down his glass and moves forward with a swiftness and grabs my chin with his hand pulling it up to meet his gaze. "You listen to me girl, I am your only option here. You will do as I say and in return you will stay alive. I will not shot you but you will obey me." Looking into his eyes I roll my tongue across my teeth then purse my lips as I spit in his face. "What the fuck do you think you are doing he screams and then his hand made contact with my face. I hear the smack before I can fell my face start to burn. I grab my face with my hand and just glare at him. I do not make a sound. "He is breathing harder and says "Oh you want to play dirty, I like that." Once that comes out of his mouth I know that the more I fight back the more turned on he will get. So let's see how this plays out.
He steps back in front of me and you can see the pleasure in his face from slapping the hell out of me. I can still feel the heat and tingling of his hand print on my cheek. "You will learn to love me or you will die from lack of trying little girl." he says to me what I guess he thought was a threatening voice. I just look at him stone faced and glossy eyed."Now what will it be, are you going to be a dirty little girl for me or am going to have to make you play the game with force?" " I am not playing with you Sir! Do you think hitting me makes you a big man. Is it making you feel like your power is bigger than your dick? I am just asking because you are not a man, you are a pig!!!!, I sarcastically let fly out my mouth before I could stop it. I really should have learned to use my senor, You know the one that stops the things in your mind from coming out your mouth. Fuck, I just screwed up. This will make this experience worse on me now. He reaches over and grabs my hair and pulls my head back until my face is even with his own. "Oh that remark will cost you!" With force he thrust my head back and laughs. You think your smart mouth will keep me away from you, it is only making this arrangement better, you see I like it when you fight back. I like it when you feel like a big bad bitch. You are only lighting the fire in my loins at the moment. So let's get down to the business at hand. From this day on until the day you die, you will meet me here at night and you will do whatever I like. If I tell you to bark like a dog you will do it. If I tell you to suck my dick, oh you will get down on your hands and knees and eat it until I cum. This is your only option little girl. I have you until the end of your time. Are we clear?" I smirk at him and with a smart ass mouth I say "oh yes Sir I would just love to make your dreams come true....NOT!" What the hell Alisa you are going to get this girl killed. Stop talking and just check out. Let him do his thing and move on, but no you have to have the last word don't you. Ugh ok ok I have to just stop talking. He licks his lips and then grabs my throat. He tightens his hands around it and pushes me down on the bed. I feel his hands start to slide up this thin little dress they gave me. At least they made it easy for him since they did not give me underwear . He is slowly moving up and down my thigh. I start to struggle a little and the grip on my throat gets tighter. This is not happening to me, I am in some horrible nightmare. No mean NO I choke out at him sounding like a frog croaking in the summer night breeze. He laughs and just simply says, "the word no does not exist here in this world. You will only say yes or I will let them kill you tomorrow." Seeing that I am not strong enough to fight him off me, I just check out and let me do what he wants. He was about to take this girl Etty's virginity from what I can tell. This body is only 19 years old. I am really 25 and I have been around the block a time or two at many college parties. I just have to pretend like I am happy about this situation. In order for me to do this I will have to zone out. If I can not remember it, It did not happen. Well at least I hope this is how it works.
He finally lets go of my throat and asks, "Are you calm now? Can I continue?" I lick my lips to try and get the moisture back on then so I can speak and I manage to squeak out 'Yes Sir." "Good then let's get to know each other, I want to know your real name. I will not call you by a number in this room. I want to know the real you, the real Jew." "My name is Etty sir. I say to him in a low voice." "That is a beautiful name for a strong beautiful girl. Now tell me Etty have you ever been with a man sexually?" "No sir I am saving myself for marriage I say." "Well consider this your wedding night my love. We are in for a fun ride." I knew what he meant by that statement, this Etty might not but I sure the fuck did and this was not going to be a fun ride at all. What kind of hell I have been placed in. Is my karma really this dirty that I am being paid back in such a cruel punishment. He sees that I am zoning and starts to ask me more questions, "Do you like to be kissed? he asks. I have to think like a virgin, so I reply, "I am not sure Sir, I have never been kissed by anyone besides my parents and little brother, maybe my grandparents or other family members." "Well let us just remedy that now." He leans over me and his soft wet lips start to graze my dry chapped lips. It tinkles and burns at the same time. I feel his tongue slide over my lips and start to move into my mouth. I just lay there with no movement breathing lightly. This was weird sensation. I am feeling things that are actually here feelings and not mine. Her body is giving me sensations that I remember from my own first kiss. With his tongue almost down my throat now, his one hand starts to move up my dress to my breast. His smooth hand starts to caress the left breast and his fingers start to move in circles around my nipple. I feel her body start to shake a little from a surprise pleasure. This is not what a girls first time should be like. Etty should not have to be scared and trying to hide the fact the touching feels good even if it is unwanted. As his hands continue to move across the breast, his mouth is now kissing and sliding down my neck. He starts to lick it and then using his teeth does a playful bite. I try to just zone out and think of something else but the feelings she is having are so strong that I can not check out of the experience now.
He has my dress off by now and you see my thin bony body laying on the bed with him kissing all over my breasts. He tongue is flicking the nipple and she is sucking on them like a baby trying to feed. The sensation has my body shaking and he starts to slowly move his mouth to my navel area kissing and licking it all over. His hands start to slide up my inner thighs now as he is still kissing my middle are. He pulls open my legs and his head is now moving toward my vagina. Before I can try and move his tongue is sliding into it. In and out it is moving, vibrating up and down and side to side like it is a machine. My body is rising with heat like I am on fire. Oh my god she is going to orgasm. How to I get this to stop. Sadly I can't do anything. He has stopped and is know standing above me. I look up and see him start to undo his pants and take off his shirt. His body was built and he had a nice ab area. Once he removed his belt his pants slide down and he was exposed. It was standing at attention like a solider just bouncing up and down. I can tell that Etty is curious and is looking at it with a scared eye contact. He takes his hand and pulls down on his huge cock and it fly's up and down. "Are you ready for the real fun now. I want to here you say yes sir I want you bad." I just start at him and then realize shit I have to talk, "I want you Sir badly, I shyly let out of my mouth." He smiles and slides his body on top of mine. I feel him using his hand to position it. With out warning he slams inside me. I gasp! It hurt, and then he started to get a rhythm going. Moving his body back and fourth made his large member go in out, in out and I could feel it quiver with each thrust. He picks up speed and increases the rhythm. I feel my walls start to get tighter around his dick as he is pounding it in me. This makes it get harder and shake. Before I even notice I start to feel a warm fluid release inside me and start to run out as he is now laying on my frail body breathing hard. He came inside me. I just lay there motionless. He kisses my lips and then moves his body to the side of me taking his penis out of me. I feel so dirty now. "That was amazing he says as he lays there next to me trying to catch his breath. I still just lay there staring at the ceiling of the room. He gets up and walks over to his sink.
He takes a wash cloth and wets it, then turns to me and throws it on my stomach. "Clean up so we can get you back to the barrack. You can not miss roll call in the morning. I slowly sit up and and start to wipe his juices of my body. I hand the cloth back to him and put on my clothes. He is already dressed. He kissed me one last time and then opens the door escorting me back to the main door they brought me through. From there I was handed back off to the SS officer to be walked back to my bunk. I just stayed quiet and walked while the SS officer made crude jokes about what just happened to Etty's body. I am pushed through the barrack door and quickly walk to my bunk where I find Gisella sleeping. I take my shoes off and climb in next to her. I start to silently cry. I could still feel all the emotions Etty was having and it was over powering my own senses at the moment. I feel like she would have rather died. After a while I notice that my eyes are closed and I was asleep for the rest of the night.
THe next morning we are awaken but the sound of yelling telling us to get up and get moving because roll call is upon us. Gisella shakes me to try and get me up, but I just lay there looking at the top of the bunk above me. "Etty come one we have to go. You know they do not wait for us." I wiped my eyes and started to move toward the edge of the bunk. My feet hit the cold dirty floor and I stood up and slipped on my shoes. In my mind was the images of last night. I feel Etty's heart beat fast as scenes of hands touching her body flash in and out of her mind. This is crazy. I can feel all her emotions and still it is not my story or even my body. I wish I knew how I got here. This is like a cruel joke. I know that if I do not hurry up I will get another beating so I wash my face and put the clothes on that they gave me. Brush my teeth with my finger and what dirty water they gave us. After that I rushed out the door with Gisella to get in line for roll call.
As I stand in line waiting for them to start, I look up and I see him. SS officer Kurt Wisemann was strolling over to the roll call area whip in hand and a smile on his face. I knew that if I looked at him in the eye I would say something stupid so I did my best to close my mouth and look at the ground unless I was spoken to. I worked on controlling my breathing. I hear my number called and I say here. After that I notice a pair of nice boots standing in front of me. "Look at me and stand at attention, Kurt yells in my face. I look up and stare right into his eyes. I can still feel him inside me from the night before. "Nothing to say today, does the cat have your tongue?" "No Sir, I am good nothing to say." "I see so you finally learned a lesson did you? Ladies take notice that even the toughest spirit can be broken, you will learn one way or another that you are nothing here, he continues to spit out his hate speech for another few minutes. He then leans into me and says until tonight my pet and walks down the line leaving me alone. I let out my breath and start to feel the heat rise in my body. If I knew that just stepping out of line and sucker punching him would not get me killed then I would do it, but I control myself and stay put. They finish the roll call and send us to the office to start our day. Giselle grabs my hand and we start moving toward the building.
"Do you think they will be nicer to us in here Etty?, she asks with a scared look on her face. "I am sure they will be nicer considering how many high up officers they have coming in an out looking at us daily." Let's just do the job and try to survive this ok, I say to her with a smile. She nods at me and we head into work. The inside of the office is already buzzing with people running around delivering papers and mail to peoples desk. Anja spots us and yells out our numbers. We walk over to her and she sets us up with a desk and typewriter. She shows us how to use the machine and hands us our first stack of names and numbers to start typing. This is how I spent the rest of the day. I typed name after name until we were let go for lunch. Lunch here was better than the first day I showed up. I actually had a few pieces of meat and a carrot in my soup and they gave us more bread here. I decided to save some of my bread. It would come in handy later if I wanted to try and trade for something in the barrack. Food is like gold here! I eat fast and then go back to my desk. I figure if I just keep working then I will not have to think about what will happen to me again tonight. As the day goes on I start to notice that they do not really yell or threaten people in this building often. SS officers flirt with the woman prisoners while they work. It is a different feeling than working outside the office building. I may just be able to survive this ordeal from the inside now. As the day comes to a close they send around people to check our work. Once they clear you then you are to go back to the barracks for the night.
Giselle finds me and we start to walk out together. "How was your day Etty? Mine was amazing, I do not know how you got me this job but I am so happy you did." "I did not do anything Giselle, They moved me and I just told the SS officer I would not go without you and he said fine."