Frankenstein

1994/1995. From my journal.

I am hidden behind a thousand masks of deceit
Each one for a different person
My mouth doesn't seem to move and connect with my thoughts
swirling around like a tornado of leaves in autumn.

Twisting inside my head
It's like a single drum beat
out of tune with the orchestra
that you can't ever get just right

I can't ever be secure with myself
Hidden behind these shadows of deception
But if I take them off,
I will be vulnerable to everything all at once.

They attack me
like swarms of locusts
biting and tearing my flesh off
Ripping into the tender skin

My inner self is destroyed
in all this catastrophic chaos
Dying
Decaying back in the hands of evil

They tighten the grip on my throat
and in one final twist
it's over
Dead.