Three sentences in my head

She doesn't love me. (nothing much, just trying out)

          I cry, and she looks at me with apology in her eyes, and I don't want her to feel this way, because it isn't her fault, but I can't help it. The tears come, whether I want it or not.

         She doesn't love me.

         I keep repeating in my head, as if it could help me accept. I repeat hundreds and hundreds of times, time goes, it has been months since those words finally gained a meaning to me. She has been through a lot, me too. I just can't forget those words.

         I can still be your friend.

         I made the promise without thinking. I couldn't afford to lose her. I can't afford to lose her. It is a painful one to keep, and the most resilient part of me is still hoping, that makes it even more painful.

         I love you.

          Maybe, maybe, maybe. The words that are the greatest mistake of every being capable of love. I commit that mistake multiple times a day. I repeat it in my head.