A box of nothing

how im feeling at the moment

Everyday, every moment, every time I look around, all I can do is watch and hear.
I go outside and see memories being made, faults being forgotten, and stories being strung together. I go outside and see that which I cannot experience, I see what I’m missing. But I can only sit and watch.
I stand inside, looking for a purpose, looking for something to do, but come up with nothing. Everytime I see my phone, I can only see joy that I cannot experience. I only see relations that I’m not a part of.
There is something controlling my body and it is not me. I am only a lifeless husk that obeys every impulse, with no strength to reason. I am only a shell that follows every emotion, not a single rule. I am only a case with nothing to store, the only thing I can do is watch and hear as my reality slips from my grasp. I can only hear and watch as my life slips from my mind and into my heart, where I won't be able to be reasoned with. Where I wont be able to be found. I can only sit and watch as I die inside a cage of flesh and bone, with nothing to do.