I'm Starving

Narcissistic Cycle of abuse experiences, thoughts, feelings. . processes...

I can't make this up...
I'm starving
But I am unconditionally loved
Always up in fight or flight
mode
Making pop-upslike my traumatized brain creates sulci
between the gyrus roads
each time I experience
a traumatic event
which causes my
internal and external
intrinsic systems
to turn on
like my lights
but the muccus accumbens
drives my appetite
not for destruction
like the aversive emotions
but they increase
my salience and vigilance
Heightened senses
So I can smell, see,
and feel desire
Dopamine and norepinephrine
pumpin through my veins
and I ain't even a fiend
Primitive neurochemicals going through
Complex networks
monitoring all this
Stimuli
Emotion- to move out
Latin- emovere
Moving
Stirring
A physical agitation
Arouse and motivate
Experience
Enhance learning
Serotonin lacks in my body
I hardly feel safe and sated
Fealty connections
may have helped me survive
many, the years
But the stealth in
people
who claim unconditional love
is no good for my health
Bio-Magnetic-Electrochemical crystallized activity
in my brain
Causes me to feel
the chain
reactions
from the fear
and defensive rage
or rape
or horrible date
or your mate
or maybe to work, you were late
Amygdala on overdrive
Trying just to save myself
from emaciation
From considering suicide
and find reasons
to want
to stay
ALIVE...