The Voice

An office worker is getting ready for work when a familiar voice calls out to them.

Don’t do anything stupid.

As I was loading my car for my morning commute, that phrase passed through my head again. It always came without warning, seemingly at random, and rarely with purpose. I could be planning to go to the bathroom and it would occur to me. Simply put: it wasn’t worth the time of day.

Despite that, I froze.

The authority in the phrase’s voice always made me pause. It was my father’s voice. Using his favorite admonishment. Reminding me exactly what he thought of me. Even after all these years, I couldn’t ignore it.

I studied my surroundings. My computer bag was present, bulky with all the gear I had to transfer to and from work. I had my badge hanging tightly around my neck. My hair was combed, my clothes were pressed. I was even leaving 30 minutes early. On all accounts I was an upstanding office worker ready to start the day.

Don’t do anything stupid? What about me is stupid? I’ve done everything you’ve asked, if I’m doing anything stupid it’s because you told me to!

With that thought, I flung myself into the driver’s seat, letting my rage carry me slightly closer to leaving for work.

The voice didn’t respond. It’s silence was deafening. An invisible glare coming in from the recesses of my mind, effortlessly dismantling my rebuttal until I felt naked and worse from were I started.

I took a deep breath and put the key into the ignition. Once my phone’s Bluetooth connected to my car and started to play, I cranked up the volume to in an effort to drown out the silence dominating my mind.

I sighed and finally began to drive to work.

Today’s going to be a long day.