Just The Facts, Man

The value of a free education is questionable

"I'm just saying that statistics prove you're really nothing special, Mike."

Mike put down the box he was holding. "Dude, I thought you were gonna help me clean out the garage, not serenade me with useless facts. Now can you give me a hand getting this tote to the top shelf? Lindsay's got every magazine she ever owned in here!"

Bill walked over, lent a hand, then leaned against the homemade shelving rack. "Did you know if you have a heart attack right now, you have a one in ten chance of survival?"

Mike grunted as he pushed the treadmill. "This thing's gonna give me a damn heart attack, dude. Come on!" Bill helped push while Mike grunted and sweated.

"You probably eat about thirteen pounds of ice cream each year. You know that?"

"Bill! Christ!"

"I'm just sayin'! I read it in a book: the average American eats thirteen pounds of ice cream in a year."

"Bill... how many people get a black eye each year because they won't shut up about stupid trivia?!"

Bill chuckled, picked up a tote, and slid it onto the top shelf.

"'Michael' really is the most popular name for boys. So you see? You're just not that special." He paused. "'Bill's' probably next in line, though." The two men looked at each other and began to laugh. Bill reached in the cooler and tossed Mike a beer, cracking one himself. "We'll finish buddy; don't sweat it. Statistics say seventy eight percent of projects do get completed, just not on time. The law of averages is on our side!"

Michael shook his head as they finished their beer. Then they resumed work: Mike stowed tote after tote, grunting and sweating, and Bill educated him, fact by useless fact.

What are friends for?

NOTES: ▼

Word Count: 298
Submitted for "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" 
Prompt: Use the phrase "I read it in a book."