RSG

SOULS TOUCHING.

I feel so alone today. I feel something deep inside me, a longing for a connection I once tasted. So sweet and fleeting, soft and patient. It was exciting and I felt a love, a learning how to be loved, cherished and admired. As I admired, cherished and wanted to love.
I thought I was going to love but it was so alien and seemed like fantasy. When we alone and together, everything seemed on fire and all consuming. Like our own world where everything and everyone around us melted to quite-ness and faded to nothing.
This strange world of us... Sometimes I close my eyes and travel through those old feelings and I yearn for you. But I will never taste it again. I want it again. I'd take it, even in dreams and hope I never wake.
To sit and be in complete bliss with you. Talking the time away. Talking as I've never talked to another person, Never! About everything sweet and fleeting. Things I had not yet done that you had done over and over. A knowledge I yearned for.
A love no one understood. You saw me drowning, slowly dying. You preserved the life left inside me. Kept bitterness and hopelessness at bay. you took me away from all the dark pain. And brought me hope and life and laughter. Everything good and sweet.
I felt alive as I had never lived. I felt beautiful and safe. Beauty scared me. I felt free to be myself. To take off the locks on my heart. To break down the walls and to finally live carefree and fully to my hearts desire.
To speak and feel heard. To see the wonder in your eyes at who I was. And I saw in you a part of me. That only those who have known of the darkest pain can understand. Can live in this world of wonder. Of what if, If only. There like a small light. That if only we could touch, would travel to the end of time. It felt like knowing the purpose, the reason of life itself.
The purpose the reason of life is love. A love that has its own language, its own culture.
I could see you across the room and hear the words you spoke through your gaze falling on me.
I could hear your steps and see you walking towards me a smile on your lips, growing all the way down your fingertips, and out into your voice as you said my name. In that way only you have ever said my name. Even the cadence I have never heard my name spoken in again.
How unique you are to me. How perfectly fitted you are to me.
We could talk of everything. Or sit in silence as our souls spoke to each other.
Sometimes I felt that when we were not together. I could call your name and you would hear me, feel me. And sometimes I felt a response like a wave washing through me. Calming and warm.
I still think of you. I remember you. I think you will always be a part of me. It makes me quiet and I feel such a loss. I want to feel seen and heard. Like that wonder I was in your eyes. I wish on you RSG~