To the Monster Within

A letter to my own disorder, in defiance of its effects on me.

You hunger for a dance
so you spark the electric storm
sweep my conscious into darkness
with one savage twist
your claws seize my synapses
yank the strings, and
every muscle taut, I
drop
         jerk
                   spasm
to the keen of my own voice.

"Again!" you growl
in hellish delight
for
one twirl around the floor
is never enough for you.

Your steps disorient me
you seal my lips
with hell's kiss
cloud my thoughts
daze my mind
swirl your talons
inside my gut
pull everything out
Until I am
broken,
         empty
                   lost -
A prisoner to your darkness.

Now
I wake at last -
You have wrought true fire from my soul.
Now
my Monster, open your hellish eyes
For here before you, I stand
Un-broken
Un-fettered
Unleashed!

The chains you meant for me
ensnare your legs
trap your wrists,
those bile-covered claws
that still desperately seek
to reach me for
one
         more
                   twirl
upon your flame-licked floor.

Hark! Monster -
you may be my bane,
But
My strings
are not yours to touch
My body
is not your marionette -
And with you,
I will never dance again.