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Functional Assymetrical Realtiy Tanglement. A comedy horror thing.

          Enemies all around. I heard them scratching at the edges of reality. They push and pull inwards against the edges, the walls of what we can perceive. It sounds like rats in the walls. Those unfortunate to be sensitive to the sounds can hear them. Scratch, scratch, scratch. As if they're going to gnaw their way through the fabric of reality and tear us all apart.
          The key thing though is being sensitive to their presence. Most folks aren't. Their entire world view is spent on tuning those rats out. Those otherworldly creatures that wish to break through and devour us. That's why they drink, do drugs, or chase sex like it's a prescription medication they're abusing. Anything to stop the noise of the ones trying to break though.
          It was only noise at first, but it was persistent, constant. No therapist could convince me that it wasn't there. The soft scratching within the walls itself that followed me around wherever I went. There was strange postings about it on the internet, buried in forums hidden in the darker side of the web. Theories that they were demons and angels fighting. Aliens. Other dimensions moving against the barrier of ours. All of those theories are right and wrong at the same time. Both correct and horribly awry. I know, because I've heard them speak.
          It was as if they were tuning a frequency. A small dial in the back of my head and aiming my FM antenna towards something. The sound was gibberish at first. A small stream of consonants then vowels. Then a mixture of the two. It took two days for them to form their first word. And that word almost drove me mad.
          It was Chinese water torture. Over and over again, they said the word, soft, loud, whispers and shouts. Fart. Fart. FART! fart. repeated phrases, entire sentences of fart. Entire books read to me allowed in the language of fart. Even during my sleep, I kept hearing, fart. fart. fart. FART!
          It's hard to keep an office job when all you hear all day long is the word fart repeated over and over whispered and shouted over conversations with co-workers and customers. Sleep was a commodity that I had been deprived of for two days. There was no recourse of action; nothing I could do. It was the same word day in and day out. Fart fart fart fart fart fart FART!
          Is it any wonder I wanted to kill myself? Is it any wonder I wanted to end everything right then and there? Any wonder I bought the gun, put the barrel in my mouth in the comfort of my small, suburban home and almost pulled the trigger. Almost.
          As I prepared to end my very life, another voice spoke. A much more confidant voice. It had the growling nature of an animal, an otherworldly creature forming syllables not natural to their own mouth.
          "If you follow my instructions, I will make the voices stop."
          What else could I do? Those on the forums had all told me to end my life. To not listen. That I had no idea what I would be letting loose. That I had to have the courage to die, to avoid corrupting and destroying this world. That I was honor bound to end my life rather than continue this madness. But what do they know? They didn't have to live with that insidious word being repeated over and over. Fart. Fart. FART!
          I didn't want to die, I only wanted the voices to stop saying that insidious word. When I heard the voice make it's request, I laid on my kitchen floor crying in relief. The world was starting to make sense again. So, I ignored the warnings of those on the internet. What did they know? They were probably as crazy as I was. Or even more so.
          It took less than a week to get everything assembled and soldered together. It was as if I heard a thousand rats chanting and cheering as I did so. It looked like a giant mechanical monster, with wires sticking out at odd angles, and circuit boards from laptops, from cell phones and other computers soldered and spliced together with wires. A single lens array was the focal point of everything. I aimed it at the closest wall that I heard the noises from.
          Every warning came back to me. Every single one of them as I stared at the wall switch I had installed as the power switch for my monstrous creation. "You don't know what you'll be letting in" they said. "You'd be saving humanity" another said. "Don't do it, don't do it!" I almost listened to them. As the scratches increased, I almost listened to them. Then the word came back. Fart. fart. fart fartfartfartfartfartfart FART!
          I flipped the switch. It hummed and buzzed, a red light shot out from the lens array and struck the wall. Reality itself began to bubble, sizzle and hiss. It started wavering, like an image on water. Sirens rose up in the distance as the first tear formed.
          I know not what will happen. But I do hear police forming outside. And I see sets of red beady eyes staring at me. Preparing. At least they're not chanting that hideous word. Soon, I will never hear that word again.