Sumo Raccoons

New Year's Resolutions of a dive bar band member.

As bands go, we weren't the best. Our forest-animal-inspired name was odd and catchy, so we had fans. The trouble was, we were paid in as much booze as we could drink most places. We took our paychecks seriously. None of us left until we were all piss drunk. Fortunately we were well-behaved drunks. Then there was the night.

I knew I shouldn't be driving, but my girlfriend had the flu and couldn't pick me up after the gig. I got into my van and started home. As I approached the intersection, I was heavily under the influence. I was about to pull right through it, but that is when a man stepped out into the middle of the road and held his hand up in a stop gesture. I slammed on the brakes, clenching my eyes. No impact came. I opened my eyes in time to see a minivan full of people going through the intersection in just the place I was about to drive. I got out of my car to search for the man, but no one was there.

Was he an angel, a ghost, a hallucination? I don't know but I do know that my New Year's resolution was to never drink again..



207 words

Prompt▶︎

The Adam West Conspiracy

FORUM

The Adam West Conspiracy  (13+) Short Story Contest #2339870 by Jeffrey Meyer

Here's the list of titles for January 2026; please reply with your entry by midnight on January 31

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January 2026 TITLES

--- Formaldehyde and Overachievement ---
--- Heaven's Banana ---
--- Religion a la carte ---
--- Sarcasm & Cynicism & All of That ---
--- Sumo Raccoons ---
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REMEMBER to use one of these AS YOUR TITLE

Can't wait to see what everyone comes up with!!
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BONUS CHALLENGE

For January, we'll offer two options for the bonus cash:

You will receive an
--- Extra 2,000 gift points ---
if your story is centered around ether
New Year's Resolutions,
whether you a winner, runner-up, or neither!