It's not just fear-
It's full-body freeze.
My hearts starts pounding.
I drop to my knees.
My chest gets tight,
My breath feels caught,
And that Spider?
It's all I got-
In my line of sight,
Like a living threat,
A silent scream
My nerves won't forget.
They laugh-
They always laugh.
"Just kill it," they say.
But my soul's already halfway
out of the room
Or out for the day!
They don't feel the panic
that grips my spine.
The shiver that climbs
Like it's digging inside.
It's not funny.
It's not cute.
It's terror in my throat.
Like a sharp, broken flute.
I feel stupid,
I feel small,
When they roll their eyes
Like I've hit a wall-
But I'm not being dramatic,
I'm just afraid.
Of tiny legs
and traps they've laid.
So don't tell me to "chill"
or "just squash it dead,"
When I'm stuck in my skin
And spiders own my head.
Because to you,
It's nothing.
But to me-
It's war.
And all I want
Is not to feel it anymore.
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