I have zero spidey sense

A story about my phobia to spiders (my first non fiction in a bit)

I have zero spidey sense

I'm a moody adult on the best of days. Sure, I can handle things like dentist appointments, a jump scare movie, or even an airplane flight if I can take my panic meds beforehand. Heck, I've even been known to say he 'hi' to a guy in a scary mask at the Lexington Comic Con. The one thing that can make me turn into a Victorian child who's seen the ghost of the beheaded Anne Boylen.

A spider.

I don't know if it was seeing It's tough to be a bug at Disneyworld's Anmal Kingdom when I was four or seeing Aragog, but I am terrified of those little eight-legged menaces. The second I see one, I refuse to move until it's taken care of by either me scaring it off by throwing something at it at Supergirl strength, a person squishing it or picking it up in a tissue, or a pet eating it.

This doesn't mean I'm scared of fictional spiders (except Aragog) I like Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel and one could argue that Stitch can be spider like when wants to be, but I know those guys are not real. It's the real ones you have to watch out for some of those little blood suckers are poisonous and can kill you if you're not careful.

It's not just spider that freak me out.... it's any eight-legged creature. One time, when I was in seventh grade, I was at my grandmother's house to stay the weekend. I walk into the hall bathroom and standing on the wall was a granddaddy longlegs starting me in the face like "Sup?"

I zipped out of the bathroom to my grandmother's sitting room, my mom was still there, and I must looked paler than normal because she asked me if I had gotten sick.

I swallowed, barely getting out

"There's-there's a daddy long legs in the bathroom"

My mom looked at me incredulously

"You can't go with it in there?"

"No, I don't know if it's poisonous. Please just go get it."

My voice must've been a little.... ok a lot whiny because my mom shook her head and went to get the spawn of hell. (Which I later learned was a grandaddy longlegs.)

A few year later I was in college and made a friend named Mariah. One thing about Mariah that was very different from me. She loved creepy crawlies. She'd willingly pick up snakes, bugs and.... spiders, like it was normal. Whenever there was something in my room that scared me, I always called or texted her.

One night, I was sitting in my dorm room, on my bed doing something, most likely drawing or reading, when I glance over and see a shadow beside the side of my best. Shrugging, I brushed it off, thinking it was just a shadow and that started turning back to my hobby.

Then, I saw that shadow move.

That's weird. Shadows don't usually move. Unless...

That's when I saw it. A spider that, I kid you not, was the size of my shoe. I have small womanly feet and that could've been my fear planning tricks on my brain.

I looked for my phone and saw it sitting...on the desk. I had to think quickly and do something that could keep it away from me. I noticed my shoes sitting beside a tub I was using as storage and a makeshift nightstand. (my roommate had rearranged the room without my say so but that's a story for another time0

I grabbed one shoe and tossed it as hard as I could.

SLAM!

Ok, I don't see it. Maybe I scared it off.

I saw it still moving. I scooped up the other shoe and tossed it. It bounced off the wall and I thought it had landed on the spider

THUMP SLAM!

I think I got it. Huh, years of watching nothing but anima has made my aim better

I saw it crawling some more.

"You've got be kidding me."

I was close enough to my phone now, that I could text Mariah. The conversation went something like this:

-Hey, you busy?

-No.

-All right...you wanna watch some anime for a bit before bed?

-....

-.....

-....

-What's happened?

-Nothing...

-.....

-.....

....

-There's a spider in your room isnt't there?

-No?

-Claudia...

-YES COME KILL IT! ...please

Mariah showed up at my room fifteen minutes later. By the time she got there I was on my bed and had to lean over to open the door.

"Where is it?"

I couldn't talk without my voice coming out squeaky so I just pointed at my storage box/nightstand. She moved the storage box while I sounded like a wounded puppy.

"Claudia, it's not there."

"What?!"

"It's not there."

My braind was immediately in 'does not compuete' meets 'nonononononono"

"Not...there?"

"Nope no eight-legged little friend."

That thing is not a friend Mariah. It's the enemy and deserves to rot in hell!

"Where could it have gone?!"

That's when I hear several high pitched screams come from the dorm next door

The next day, Mariah and I were talking at lunch.

"How can you hate spiders?" she had asked me

"I didn't say I hated them. I just wish they would all stay in hell after winter is over. Is that too much to ask?"

"Sweetie, they eat flies, wasps. The insects that are actually dangerous. They're also more scared of you than you are of them."

"So are snakes, but if I was in the amazon and if there was battle between me and anaconda, I'd let the anaconda win."

Mariah blinked at me slowly and slightly confused.

"What does that have to do with this situation?"

"Replace the anaconda with Aragog and it's the thing of my nightmares are made of."

For years, I thought I was the only one in my family that was scared of spiders... until my family took a trip to Crossville, Tennessee. My fearless cousin, Rach, had gotten the weeknd off work to come see my grandmother.

The last night there, they coaxed me out of my room to come have dinner. We were getting ready to have dessert when I saw Rach jump up to where she was nearly the same height as the chair rail on the wall.

I heard "Whitney don't look." This mae me curious thinking it was a creepy crawlie I could handle, so , I looked. On the wall was medium sized spider.

I was sorry I looked.

What I think I was say with these little stories is:

SPIDERS NEED TO GO TO HELL AND STAY THERE!