First loser

Feels too real...I hope you don't relate. Please give feedback though :)

I was an afterthought
second child
second attempt
Supposed to be perfect, they could
Fix
mistakes from before
But only broken things need fixing
Was i born broken?
maybe in the head a bit
-/-/i know im not your favorite.

tried plastering band aids on me
To heal me from a
disease i
didnt know i had
although nothing ever worked
the medicine you gave stinging like a
Poison
unforgiven.

Im sorry i
wasnt born with wings
To fly into the sky and
Bring you a star like he did
Though i stretched for one
i just
fell--
Twice
i fell.

perhaps i shouldve torn mine off
Traded them for ones that
shone like his; you always loved that
Maybe then i could
serve you a star.
Although somehow i knew it wouldnt have helped
He created beautiful mosaics while i
got scratches from broken glass
deep red staining your white carpets

Im drowning in the glass of water
You yell for me to bring you
no matter what im doing
--it never couldve been anything of importance
Insignifiant
Unlike him.
Drowning
I can't
breathe
Water blocked my mouth from opening
ghosted
But i still see you
shutting out my voice and when i
disagree
You go ahead
paint me as the villan.

yet you confess your vast love for me
Generous,
arent you?
Ill pretend i don't see
the tapestry of spider webs
Youve spun these lies for.
Remind me every day
Trapping me
now you ask why im claustrophobic.
You don't love me
you only care as its an
opportunity
To clone your Golden Child.

a future i don't recognize
dragged across my skin
Pressed against my throat as a
dull knife
pain panging through my body
I couldnt stop my tears from streaming.
Im sorry he
slipped
in the ocean i cried.
Sorry that you had to mop up the salty liquid
And that it took an hour of your time
so your precious wooden floors wouldnt rot at my
stupidity.