Please Come Back

you'll see when you read it

It's been 38 days since it happened. The day you left me and never came back. I'm still mad at you, by the way.
I get it, I'm not the easiest to be around, nor am I very observant about people's body language. But you didn't have to leave me, not like this.

Do you think about me where you are? I hope so, because you're the only thing that's ever on my mind.

Was it your plan for me to be the one to find you there? On the floor, lifeless and cold. I see it clearly, as if I'm still standing there. The feelings of shock and dread were the only friends I had that day; well, they're the only friends I have at all since you're no longer around.

There were never any signs, as far as I'm concerned. You were happy, and your usual self; even during those final weeks that nobody knew were final. I can't believe you. I was your best friend, I was supposed to always notice things. You were supposed to confide in me about everything and anything.

So why didn't you? Were you scared? Did you think I wouldn't help you or stay by your side? Because if that's what stopped you then you needed to open your damn eyes! I would've been there! I would've listened and held you! But you left without telling me! You left me here, alone in this world that was already shitty!

Just come back to me! Come back and let me hold you. Come back and let me tell you I love you, because you left before I ever got the chance! If you would've just waited! Just given me a sign, anything. Please ... come back to me.

I'll beg everyday. I know it's never going to happen.

But can you promise me something? Can you promise me ... that you're happy where you are now? Truly happy.

Well I hope you are, because I know I'll never smile again. Not truly. Just know, I love you. I always did.

I'm not going to say goodbye, so don't expect me to. But I'll tell you I love you, over and over again until I'm sure you hear it from where you are. So, I love you. Always.