The Smile Still Lingers

Thing come and go yet I say that the Smile will never truely fade

I stand still starring at THE mirror once more ,staring at myself I notice the bags under my eyes the dullness they hold. My hair is a mess I notice every winkle on my face making me feel old. As I look into the mirror I see it that thing ,that horrid frown drawn on my face ,all flaws. I look crazy. I sigh as I can't take it anymore ,I slam my fist into the center of the mirror shattering it ,a hole at the center where my fist struck. Cracks spread cross the once seamless surface of the mirror from the hole. The smile this MASK I wear spread across my face as i look at the now shattered mirror of lies. My eyes now look full my hair brushed to the side yet it still looks like a lie to me as I know the truth,

I been working hard ,doing better which makes the worlds move faster yet it still feels wrong. The progress I make feels stifled by the mask lingering hiding me from the worlds prying eyes. The mask at THIS point holding me back ,yet it scares me to take it off. My smile brings warmth the idea of control cause that's deep down what I want ,what people want in there lives ,control. This idea of control usually comes at a cost of something. We just don't see it right away maybe later we recognize it ,but the effects are ever lasting upon trying to rewire ourselves for the better. This mask this accursed SMILE is the price I am paying for my idea of control.

I often tell people everything is alright and lots of people do ,but in my opinion more people are lying when they say it. We know this to be true yet we except it letting it be the norm. They see a man smile answer everything cheerfully cause that's what I want them to see ,hear ,and perceive ,my reality of a man in control. I STILL like to imagine I can keep everyone happy around me regardless of how I feel about myself. Recently however the mask sinks teeth into me telling me to go back to hide to let the fear take over once more. If this PURISTS I fear I may never get a chance to break free of my masks ever long smile.