Billy Badger Has a Job

A short Poem about a badger that gets a new job

Billy the Badger had a sob
when he was told, to get a job
He just wanted big bowls of jelly
While watching football on the telly

One thing that scared him the most
Was getting a job offer in the post
It was no surprise; he made a fuss
When he was told to drive the bus

On his first day
he really didn't want to stay
As people showed their passes
he realised "I forgot my glasses!"

With all the passengers onboard
In his big red shiny new Ford
Suddenly he starts Hissing
"My Goodness the driving deck is Missing"

Billy sighs "there is no brake
We should really drive another make
Nowhere even to put the key
I should be at home drinking tea

This bus is really a nightmare
It's not fit to drive anywhere
passengers will have to take another one
Some look displeased; telling them will not be fun

"Your attention please, this is the deal
This bus has no steering wheel
Take that bus over there
The driver will accept your ticket fare"

One passenger Jeff stands looking confused
He is holding cakes and isn't amused.
The cakes are heavy and he needs to sit down
Then he sees someone in his seat and gives a frown

He stops at Billy and says "My name is Jeff
and i'm a famous chef
It would be sweet
if you got off my seat"

AH thought Billy
Well that was a silly
Jeff points "that is your seat over there"
"Oh my" thinks Billy, "a nice leather chair"

The drivers deck looks as good as new
"My Goodness" thought BIlly "What do I do"
He puts the key in the ignition and gives it a twist
Surpised he was not already dismissed.


Billy sighs " this bus is a joke
The gear stick is broke"
No sighs the florist Ms Lee
"Your moving my right knee"

The passengers shout
As the bus engine cuts out
Billy confesses "Silly silly me
I shouldn't have started in gear three"

An annoyed lady in a black suit
Gobbles her last bit of fruit
"Excuse me" she asks, is this slow speed all it can do?
I am not missing a deal, because of you?"

Billy gasps "Sorry what can I say"
My lack of glasses is calling this delay
Please be patient and show some restraint
and please do not make a formal complaint

The lady sighs and mutters
while the bus engine stutters
Passengers begin to cough and choke
Billy's driving was causing a lot of engine smoke

Billy decides to slam on the Brakes
"No" cries Jeff "you've stood on my cakes"
The bus jumps. "Sorry, what can i do"
I forgot I was in, gear number two"

Jeff cries "You ruined my award winning bakes"
"Sorry" Billy confesses "we all make mistakes"
"Oh" Gasps Billy "Someone wants to get off here"
The bus jumps as he stops in fourth Gear.

"Your church stop, Father," Billy calls.
"You passed it one mile ago!" the priest bawls.
"I'm now late and have to jog."
"By the way, that's a synagogue!"

Billy drove on at five miles an hour
leaving the passengers angry and dour
As he drove into the city, traffic got busy
Multiple traffic lanes left him in a tizzy


The Passengers scream with fright
"BIlly it's a red traffic light
Please hit the brakes
and not Jeff's Cakes"

The bus comes to a stop
Jeff cries "I will walk to my shop"
Ms Lee gets up, "we too will walk from here
We really have a lot of fear"

At the station his manager thinks
"Billy" he says,"your driving stinks
With your specs you will be brill"
Then Billy thinks, "I keep my job, what a thrill!"

The following Friday he got his pay cheque
Though he left the bus's gearbox in a wreck
Billy didn't know what to say
It was a surprise he got some pay

Billy realised it wasn't bad going to work
Getting money had a perk
He had money to buy his favourite Jelly
And to go to football than watching on telly.