Project X

Based on actual events.

I travelled with the recovery team, eager to see for myself how the apes had faired. Baker was the first chimp out, screeching and running to me, jumping into my arms. Abel made a more dignified exit. He seemed somewhat subdued.

After we landed I walked them to my waiting vehicle. Baker leapt into his cage in the rear of the Jeep but Abel let go of my hand, walked to the front and climbed into the passenger seat, fastening his seat belt. He was undoubtedly mimicking human behaviour; interesting. He had never done that before.

When we got back to the lab Baker happily made himself at home in his habitat. Abel however grabbed my hand and dragged me to my office. He made himself comfortable in the swivel chair. He was obviously unhappy. "What is it Baby?"

"Firstly, my name is not Baby." What the ... "Secondly, you must really install toilets in that machine. Wearing a diaper is so undignified." A chimp was talking to me. "By the way" he sniffed "I think I need changing."

"Yyou can talk ..."

"I always have darling, you just didn't listen. Now, onto my report."

"Er ... yes..."

"I have been closely observing young Baker during our flight. His behaviour became ever more childish. Or maybe I should say apish. I had to restrain him on several occasions to stop him touching the controls. At one point he managed to put us into a roll. I restrained him, then I corrected the motion. Luckily I read the manual during our preflight stopover."

"You can read too?"

"Of course darling, doesn't everyone? Well maybe not every ape." He nodded toward Baker. "I say, any chance of a snifter or is this a dry facility?" He pulled a cigar from a pocket in his spacesuit. "Do you have a light?" I shook my head. I abhor smoking. "Now, about Baker, I ran the standard IQ test preflight and he scored 10. I ran it again when we landed and it was minus 10."

Abel looked through the window at Baker who was giving him the v sign. "I believe I myself may have lost a few points during the mission. Perhaps you could run the test on me."

I think I must be the one needs my head tested. I am having a verbal conversation with a chimpanzee. Well perhaps an IQ test would prove I am not going mad.

Well, who would believe it - a chimpanzee with an IQ of 152.

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