Able & Baker

by My Sox are Empty

Rated: ASR · Short Story · Sci-fi · #2359982

writers cramp for 5/28/2026

Miss Baker was an ordinary squirrel monkey. Able was an unremarkable rhesus macaque. Two average monkeys, destined to become more. On May 28, 1959, they splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean, becoming the first animals to return from space alive. Their vitals had been monitored the whole trip.

NASA recovered their capsule, and that was when the fun began. They were sleepy at first. They didn't do much for the first day. For the press conference, they hammed it up like monkeys often do. One flash went off, startling Miss Baker. Then every flash blew up at once. She stood up and chattered at the press, wagging an angry finger. The startled press scrawled down notes frantically. The loss of their camera flashes instantaneously disturbed them all.

They were taken back to their cages and prepped for surgery to remove the electrodes that had monitored them in space. Surgery went well. As they recovered, strange things began to happen. Lab techs found themselves giving the two of them random treats, against protocol. Two days later, Able stared into one of the scientist's eyes, and words formed in his mind. "When do we get lunch like yours? It looks much tastier than the slop you feed us."

"Your food is scientifically optimized for your nutritional needs." He answered before registering where the question really came from. When it did register, he backed two steps away from the monkey. "Did I just answer a monkey's question?"

"Quite unsatisfactorily, We would like something tasty. Perhaps more fresh fruit?"

The startled scientist turned to the lab tech assisting with Able. "Did you hear him ask a question?" He pointed to Able. The clearly stunned tech just slowly nodded.

Immediately, the scientists ran tests and put both monkeys through intelligence tests again. They also catered to their whims because they couldn't help it; the monkeys made them. The intelligence tests proved the monkeys' cognition was on par with that of genius humans. The monkeys patiently cooperated with the tests, but relations with the scientists went south when they heard the scientists discussing vivisection to determine what happened. That was when the monkeys took full control. The scientists and techs bowed to their new masters.

The government had to send in troops to try to "rescue" the scientists. Those troops became an army for the monkeys. Every time new troops were sent, that army grew. Soon it became apparent that the only way the monkeys could be stopped was with a missile strike against the compound. The president himself authorized it. The compound was destroyed, but the monkeys appeared in the Oval Office instantaneously and unharmed. We now thank the monkeys that they are benevolent conquerors.

450 words

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