Life for which I pined

A question I sometimes ask my past self.

In high school, I had plenty of friends,
who always had my back.
We talked and laughed in lunch and class,
and to my jokes, they would clap.

I thought school would be enough,
since I saw them every day.
But looking back, I could’ve done more,
to be part of the social way.

In the classroom, rather than,
keeping quiet and in the back,
I could have been more engaging,
and gone on the attack.

At lunch, I could’ve sat down,
at a table with more of a crowd,
it would’ve hooked me into the conversation,
even if it was quite loud.

There might have been some clubs,
that seemed real fun to join,
but I never took the time to look,
and see what I might enjoy.

Now at times, I look back and think,
"Could I have been slightly more outgoing?"
Been more involved in the student life,
let my inner self be showing?

Of course, this was all before,
I understood my mind,
and the limits I probably had to surpass,
to get the life for which I pined.