Don't Do Evil Witches Especially Her #2

Dr. Phil finds out his Blood is Type O Negative which is Kendra's sweetest wine to taste!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpnyO0KyUWY

Well, the rest of my day was uneventful, I got to eat at my favorite diner, and after I finished reviewing my notes, an unexpected visitor arrived to greet me with her wicked smile and witches’ hat. Our office was closed for the winter holidays, I say that because Christmas holiday maybe offensive to some, so it was nice having the building to myself where I could work uninterrupted and grab a bite to eat whenever I wanted to. I was still on call and not getting the sleep I needed since this time of year is stressful to my clients having to face family issues, loneliness, and reason for being here, by the way? What am I here for? Ugh, never mind. I suppose it's nice to vent, I guess that is why I get so many calls from my clients during this time of year. Anyway, when I got home, I went straight to bed to catch up on some much-needed rest, but I couldn't seem to get a Limp Bizkit's song out of my head and then I heard a whisper from her lips!

"This could be the one!"

"Aw! What are you doing here Kendra and how did you get in my home!"

"You know you look very cute when you sleep at night lover boy, I couldn't resist, but the night is young, and we have places to go my dear!"

"You do know I could call the police on you right?"

"Yes, and I could slit your throat and drink your blood, but we got places to go my cute little sacrifice, so get dressed, times ticking!" she said with a big smile on her face and added with a laugh. "Do you know what's funny?"

"Waking people up in the middle of the night, and scaring the Be-Jesus out of them?"

"No silly, scaring the Be-Jesus out of your colleague who will think I'm weak until I show him my knife named Athame! she laughed and then said, "So let’s go find some weirdos to meet and victims to scare my love, I need to practice before I meet your supervisor!" She said while winking at me. Ugh! What did I get myself into?

Anyway, I guess I shouldn't tell you this part of the story because it could endanger their lives but it happened so long ago I think they're safe, but there were a lot of places my weirdo Witches, Werewolves, Vampires and Atheist associates hung out around our San Antonio area, and before you think I totally lost my mind, like her Geometry teacher did, I'd like to share some of the places we went to.

Yes, I'm going to hell ugh! Anyway, we went to Sam's Burger joint, a wonderful restaurant that had nightly outdoor concerts for their patrons, La Madeleine restaurant, a fine French themed sandwitch and bakery shop, pun intended, Mr. Gatti's pizza in Universal City, Texas. I'll tell you what happened there later, and the Candlelight Pour-House, we are about to go to on Saint Mary’s Street. My mind does tend to wander but as we were driving to the weirdest night of my life, she interrupted me by saying.

"What are you thinking about my love, you seem to be preoccupied with something?"

"Did you really make your Geometry teacher go insane?" I said while smiling.

"Well other than her smoking bananas, and being obsessed with tissue paper taking exactly 30 days 4 hours 17 minutes and 36 seconds to decompose when people throw them in the street, she is fine my dear, by the way, where are you going? We just passed up the restaurant!"

"There's no parking by the restaurant and I don't want my car to get towed, I'm going to park by a church a colleague of mine attends, besides that, I have a shovel and duct tape in the trunk of my car I don't want anyone to see" I smiled at her.

"Oh my Goddess, am I rubbing off on you?" she said while laughing

"Well, when in Rome, run away from the vampires and witches ha-ha!"

"Your cute, I think I'm going to keep you for a little while or eternity, I get those two times mixed up. Oh, by the way dear, did you bring a cross and wooden stake with your shovel and duct tape because you're going to need them!" I smiled and shook my head no. "Darn, you’re in trouble now mister ha-ha!" she had a strange, wicked smile on her face, when she asked me “Can you go to the restaurant by yourself while I pretty myself up? I'll be right behind you my dear, and don't talk to any vampires lurking in the shadows watching us as we park!"

"Ok, my dear will do!" I said while laughing and I bowed down to her while I started to walk to the restaurant that was about 4 blocks away on a dark deserted street that is so typical in horror movies. It's a good thing I'm a psychiatrist and don't believe in monsters, other than the ones we create in our head.

Well, as I walked to the restaurant leaving the city lights behind, it was getting so dark it was hard to see, and it was giving me an eerie feeling, almost as if I were being watched by someone or something behind some dark bushes. As I passed by those bushes, he swooped out of them unexpectedly catching me off guard!

"Salutations Phil, I been waiting for you, and finally have you to myself in this dark alley of the night! My name is Vladimir, and I have come for you!" Just then I felt a forceful hand grab my back when it said "Vladimir! So good to see you my lovely blood sucker! I see you met my sacrifice for the night ha-ha!" It was my evil witch that came to save me or maybe end my life? I'm never quite sure what she will do when I'm around her ugh! After my heart rate returned to normal from her unexpected grab, I quickly looked him over to get a quick read on him and his piercing eyes.

He was very intimidating looking and took being a vampire a little too seriously for my taste, especially after he said,

"You can tell the "real" vampires from the fakes ones by how pale they look."

In case you didn’t know, my new vampire friends are so convinced they are real, they avoid the sun at all costs! Now that's dedication! My train of thought was interrupted when he asked me:

"What blood type are you?"

"Um, I'm not sure Vladimir?"

"He's my blood type so back off BAT!"

"As you wish my Queen, nice to have met you, Phil!"

He smiled, bowed down to me or maybe her, and then very stereotypically swooped away from our presence in a gush of wind in the wrong direction.

"Um, was he going to the restaurant, because he's going the wrong way?"

"No, he's going the right way, he just likes to lurk in the shadows and hide in the background to observe his prey, I mean friends!"

"He has friends?"

"Of course, my love, he really is a sweet person if you live long enough to get to know him!"

The look on my face must have given me away because she laughed and gave me a sweet kiss from her lips and said,

"Type O negative, sweet, I knew you were my blood type, and don't worry lover, his real name is Marvin, and he wouldn't hurt a fly" she said with a cackling laugh! "And try not to worry my love, he only thinks he's a vampire!"

"Well to be fair, you think you're a witch!" I teasingly said to her.

"Tu touches une sorcière mon amour avec ta vie!" And then she kissed me again! I was speechless because I didn't know French or how her kiss affects me until now! Everything is wrong and I'm violating every rule from my profession, hey wait a minute, she's not my patient, never mind, I just wonder?

"You didn't put a love spell on me did you, because your zest for life is intoxicating!"

"Did you drink your tea before we left?" she had a worried look on her face!

"Yes?"

"Oops, I was afraid of that, never mind!" That's when she smiled and said "Are you ready to meet my Adams family inside our restaurant my beautiful muse?

"I'm doing this for the research!" I said while bluffing.

"I know it's all for science, but could you stop looking at me with your puppy love eyes? It's embarrassing" she laughed, and stole another kiss from me, that darn witch!