Don't Do Evil Witches Especially Her #3

Dr Phil was dreaming a vampire was sucking on his neck should he dare to open his eyes?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8NsId90LmE

I really had a weird dream last night and it seemed to involve Witches, Atheist and Vampires, but somehow it felt so real, like a vampire is sucking on me right now, dare I open my beady little eyes?

"Why are you sucking on my neck?" I asked my sexy, scary, vampire witch, as I slowly opened my eyes.

"Awe, no girly screams today my little muse?" she laughed and gently stroked my hair as I was waking up.

"Well from my professional opinion, I figured that if you wanted to kill me, I'd already be dead by now, so good morning, but aren't you supposed to melt if the sun hits you?"

"I'm not a vampire my love, I'm an Evil witch, that's come to torment you" she laughed and said, "wasn't last night so much fun?" It was kind of hard to remember anything from last night especially with her erotic tongue all over my neck, wow! She is a wonderful distraction but remember your training, remember your training!

"I feel like I have a hangover, how did I get home?"

"I flew you by broomstick! No? Ok, I drove you home young man, you really need to learn how to party my love ha-ha! What do you think of your new family you met last night?"

"They are a textbook definition of total lunatics that escaped from the asylum, but I wouldn't trade them for the world, and to be honest, they're really cool people! Which is strange, because now that I think about it, I feel safer with them than my Christian Colleagues!"

"Well my love, I don't know about your Christian friends, but the people you met are real people, and that's what makes them so special, they don't act or say fake things to get you to like them, they show you their real feelings and that's what I love so much about them. They need their story told to the world. Can you help me? That's why I chose you, because as stuck up as you are, you have potential, ha-ha! Told you people like me will tell you to go to hell if we don't like you!"

"Um, thanks, EVIL WITCH!" I laughed

"See! You understand! You filthy mortal, now tell me a story to make them famous my love I can't wait to hear what you saw last night!" she said as she winked at me.

"Ok young lady, even though you were there, let me tell you a story of a man that had a nice boring existence until a naughty little witch turned it completely upside down! This very handsome and intelligent man had a great career helping people cope with their zombie robot life, but it all changed when she showed up naked in the parking lot of his building. At first this incredible hunk of a man thought she was completely out of her mind but the more he examined her; the more he found out that she was the only sane one in the world. Do you know how that information can mess with a person's mind? ha-ha!"

You see, this man had somehow lost his soul for the past 7 years, playing by the rules of society, but by some miracle, she helped him find it back! Even when she illegally snuck in his home to scare the Be-Jesus out of him! Anyway, she took him to a restaurant where he met some incredible people. That reminds me, I took a picture of Vladimir IV and his 2 sisters on my phone let me start the story from that point as we look at their picture:

"Are you ready to go inside my love, you look a little nervous" she said while laughing.

"Well, I met a vampire and survived, what could be worse?" I replied while looking over my shoulder as we entered inside.

That's when she yelled: "Vladimir! So nice to see you!"

I must have jumped around 3 feet in the air from her unexpected yelling, since I was looking back when she yelled at Vladimir and I thought I was going to bump into him, but it wasn't the scary Vladimir I just met, it was his younger brother, and he was very pleasant to talk to.

"Is your friend alright, he seems a little jumpy?" Vladimir IV asked Kendra while smiling in my direction.

"Oh, he's fine! He's just a little new at this" she then pointed a finger in my direction and acted like she was disgusted "He's a mortal!" and rolled her eyes in a teasing way.

"Wow a mortal? This could be interesting! Well nice to meet you mortal, my name is Vladimir the fourth. It's not my real name, but more of a title our little family goes by. I suppose you met Vladimir the 3rd, my older brother?"

"Um yes, we kind of bumped into each other in a dark alley." I didn't know what else to say?

"Yes, my brother has an obsession playing the part of a deranged BAT, but I'm more friendly and laid back isn't that right dear brother of mine?" we heard a hiss somewhere in the background from a dark corner we couldn't see which made us laugh. "Oh, don't mind my brother, he's a little over dramatic, why don't you meet my sisters instead!"

"Hi handsome, my name is Vampy, not my real name, but my profession. I am a fashion consultant for the Goth clothing industry, here's my card, come see me sometime so I can design a new look for you and your lovely wife!"

"Thanks, Vampy, I promise to take you up on your offer someday, but we're not married."

"Ha! That's what you think! I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the way she is looking at you, you're gone my brother, Ha-ha!" Wow, she called me brother! That's when her sister introduced herself to me as well.

"Hi, my name is Trampy, and my profession is,,,,,,,, never mind!" We all laughed, I just couldn't believe how warm and open these people really were!

"Wow, it's so nice to see you Vladimir, Vampy and Slut! Just remember to keep your hooks off my man! Ha-ha, love you family!" My beautiful, wicked witch teasingly said to her dear friends!

"See, I told you she was your wife, you just don't know it yet!" Vampy said with an all-knowing smile.

"Welcome to the family mortal, just don't invite us to your house and you'll be safe!" Trampy said as she got up to give me a hug before we left outside to meet more of Kendra's lovable weirdo friends.

This pour house cafe was really nice, it had an outside patio where you can lounge in a more casual atmosphere, and it was nice getting to know her "extended family" she somehow adopted? I got to meet Pagan Clause, a delightful older man that dressed as a pagan version of Santa Clause, High Priestess Morgana from the Oder of Syblings who invited us to a Sunday Yule Sabbath at Comanche park. Hey, it was the closest day she could get to December 21st, even though it was a day after Christmas, how did I know that was going to have an impact on our life, ha-ha! She also introduced me to a powerful witch of San Antonio, who happens to be a High Priestess of the Lycian tradition of Shamanic Witchcraft, We also met Atheist Bob and Satanist Jack, and they will tell us their stories too and how they fit in this wonderful dysfunctional family group, but the one I loved meeting the most is that wonderful witch that probably put a Spell on me even though I don't believe in Witchcraft, ha-ha! how did you like the story my love?"

"It was beautiful, but I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap you NON-BELIEVER!" She laughingly said while I watched her drift back to sleep. Wow she looks like an Angel sleeping in my bed, I guess it's true! My bad habits lead to you!