Don't Do Evil Witches Especially Her #4

Dr Phil Finds out why some Atheist become Fully Ordained Preachers

youtu.be/WXBHCQYxwr0

"Wake up my love, we're late for a luncheon!"

"How is it that you always end up in my bed darling?"

"Relax sweetie, I'm a conservative witch! There's no hanky-panky going on until I get a ring on my finger or see a wart on your nose!" She laughed and stripped down naked to get a quick shower. Oh, how I love her modesty ha-ha!

"Hey darling, aren't there rules to follow on how we are supposed to act in a relationship?"

"I suppose so, but we're not actors, we're real people, so those rules don't apply to us!" She laughed while she continued with her shower!

Oh, I wish I could tell you how I feel about "society's rules" and what they can do with them. Maybe, my sweet little innocent psycho witch with her big Athame knife can help me explain it to my boss later on when they meet, bahaha! Just to set the record straight though, it was her ideal to title the book Evil witches and not mine! ;)

Anyway, as we headed to a restaurant by McAllister Park golf driving range, I had to ask my loving witch:

"Why did Atheist Bob want to meet me, I kind of remember meeting him last night but that part was a blur?"

"Well darling, he thought you were cute when you told him your new religion is now the Phil Religion! Wow you were wasted last night!'

'But I don't drink honey, it's against my religion!"

"I know, that's what made him laugh my dear, and when you said that you formed a new religion: The 1st church of Phil of non-alcoholic beverages, you intrigued him."

"After you passed out on the floor, I told him we are writing a story about my wonderful misfit family in San Antonio and if he would like to tell his side of the story to the readers we are writing to, and he said yes! I did have to sway my hips and bat my pretty little eyelashes for him to consider my proposal!" She laughed and winked at me.

"You temptress!" I laughed back!

"Yes lover, it is my bewitching gift, besides I sweetened the deal by telling him how I managed to get a sweet respectable Christian Counselor to sink so low in such a short amount of time by meeting me! Ha-ha!"

Her playfulness is so addicting but then I got concerned and asked her point blank:

"What did you put in my tea!"

"Just some sugar" she gave me a kiss "Natural herbs, and oops! Never mind, we made it to the restaurant! Care to get saved by an ordained Atheist priest?"

Note to self, never allow a witch to give you a drink unattended! Circle that note 3 times, um power of 3, and got it! ;)

The little restaurant by McAllister Park was very delightful and cozy, it had a large area on the side for lunch conferences where we met our new friends. I found out that Atheist Bob's group was part of the Critical Thinkers society patterned after Socrates two main points: Know thyself, and an un-examined life is not worth living. Wow, I can see how we have some common ground!

"Thanks for having us Reverend Bob!" My sweet temptress said.

Do you know how strange that sounds coming from a humble witch greeting her Atheist friend? I know you think this is a fictitious book, but most of it is true my friend ;)

"Sorry he tends to blank out from time to time my dear when he is lost in thought!" A tattletale witch told on me!

"Maybe he's possessed? Should I perform an exorcism on him?" Atheist Bob teasingly said.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry Bob, I just got distracted trying to take this all in. I must be making a terrible first impression on you, but I'm confused? You're a Reverend Atheist?"

"It's ok Phil, actually I am a fully ordained Reverend from a wonderful Atheist group of Canada that found a loophole to get lay people like myself fully ordained in just a matter of minutes."

"To mock God because you hate him?" I blurted out without thinking, this made him laugh! When he said to Kendra:

"He's very funny my dear" he turned to me and said "which God are you referring to? The Christian God, or the God from the new religion you formed last night? Wow you really were wasted! You know, I can schedule some time for you later this afternoon if you need a confession to rid you of you sins last night. Oh, and don't worry about your first impression, because your second impression is much worse, ha-ha!"

"Hey! Don't rid him of all the sins from last night I had fun playing with him reverend!" My witchy love said while smiling at me.

"So sorry for blurting that out, I haven't been myself lately, and don't mind the witch, she's evil! Ha-ha, but I love her and wouldn't trade her in for the world Bob, by the way: Why did your group feel it was important for you to get ordained?"

"That's the question I wanted to hear Phil and why I chose to meet with you and your lovely ***wife*** to write about our story. You see, we're not getting ordained as a joke or to mock God, we're doing it to help our people build up a network of resources to help them like a Christian church help its community. We're getting a tax-exempt status so that we can use our resources to help the homeless, provide food assistance to people in need, assist in disaster support for families that lost their home in storms, and be there for people that needs help with their loved one's funeral expenses."

"Awe, I see that is very nice, and as a professional counselor, I have to ask the next question you want to answer right?"

"Do you know what the next question is Phil"

"I believe so, why don't you let a Christian Church help you in a time of crisis?"

"Yes Phil, I knew you were the one! Let me ask you a question, when we have our Atheist support community up and running, how many Christians do you know will take advantage of our free services and support to get them back up on their feet? As a non-profit organization, we are going to cater to the Atheist community, but we're not going to turn anyone away including Christians that need us, but in all reality, how many Christians do you think are going to ask us for help?"

"I would definitely say none, Bob! Christians would feel out of place and worried what their peers might think of them, or maybe that your organization might have some strings attached to your conditions before you help them out. Am I right?"

"Yes Phil, and that is the way it is with Atheist, when a person is down on their luck, it's hard for them to ask for help, so wouldn't it be nice for them to be able to go out to a community that understands them and will support them during the tough times in their life?"

"Wow, I see that now Bob, I never really thought about that until now, thanks for sharing your story with me, I'm glad I met you!'

"It was nice meeting you too Phil, just try to remember that you Christians aren't the only one with morals, we have them too!" He said while smiling.

"Ok this is getting too serious for me boys, it's time for us hell bound sinners to get drunk! Do you have any tea left over my dear?" She looks over in my direction innocently

Oh, that witch ha-ha, but I give her credit because the rest of the day was just magical! We had so much fun talking about life, teasing each-other and just hanging around a person that felt like we known for life! Religious differences aside, we really weren't that different, and it was nice meeting a new person I could call a friend for life. When we got home my lovely guest asked me.

"So what do you think of my friends my love?" She asked, while handing me a drink.

"Oh, Kendra, they are so awesome, I never would have known people are just people regardless of the religion they believe in or refrain from." She kissed me lovingly.

"That's nice to hear my husband!"

"Wow, are we married?"

"Yes my dear, Reverend Bob performed the ceremony last night while you were passed out! Oh, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you, but look back up at our conversation where Atheist bob said ***wife***" and then she made a cute but evil laugh. ;)

"You're a very strong woman, aren't you?"

"And you're a very strong man my dear, you just don't know it yet, but I'll teach you. Anyway that is why I married you, because I loved you for an eternity!"

"But we've only known each-other for 2 days!"

"Oh you mortals are so cute, we known each other for thousands of years my love, we been in each-other's past lives for centuries, so now it's time to make it official, but I'll give you a chance to back out if you are um, WEAK! Ha-ha, think you can handle a witch for eternity my love?" she said with batting eyes and a cute wicked smile!

"Of course I can, but is it going to get weird, being married to a witch?"

"Honey if you think your life is weird now, wait until you meet the dead friends from my past!" she said while laughing as she kept kissing me.

You know, there comes a point in your life when you just have to let go. It's like falling out of a plane at 10,000 feet, and your desperately trying to pull the parachute cord to keep from dying! Just as you are about to give up, you hear the screaming laughter of a beautiful woman flying by your side that taunts you; Until you laugh with her and then she pulls your cord to save you from the fall. It's at that point, when you let go, you see that life is worth living! Especially if your life happens to be with, HER!