Charlatan's Spell (Joto-Kai Saga)

Since when do the unworthy ask for help?

Markein sighed as he returned the glass to his shelf, and eyed the bottle of whiskey.

The new king Relek's rages had seen his inventory dwindle and his coffers fill. But what value might Marken find in gold when he would soon be turning away people desperate for liquid comfort? Especially his, given the added ingredients.

They didn't need a full philtre when a dram of Henwyn's Ease or Philomon's Unshakable Certainty placed in the whiskey gave them something. If not enough to live for, then more medicine than the whiskey promised.

But alchemy offered only a short-term solution. Markein could not read the portents, beyond the faces of his clients—save for the coming of an agent of change.

The door opened.

A light blue robe shirt, as of someone practicing for combat. But, the stripes…

He looked into the face—that was not a mask. The face of an actual black-and-white striped tiger eyed him, looking more like a pirate than anything. Followed by an orange tiger in a foreign blue black robe.

Joto-kai and Kaminegg.

Relek's reign ended this night, at the end of these men's claws. Everyone knew the stories, the two tigers come to devour the worst tyrants. Markein placed two cups on the bar. "Lordship. Joto-kai, I presume?"

The orange tiger bowed slightly. "Indeed."

The white one laughed. "You don't assume we are demons?"

"I offer little sport, lordship," Markein's hands shook as he reached for the bottle of rice wine, and he shook his head. "So being wrong in assuming civilized intent will cost me nothing." He stopped before opening the bottle.

Joto-kai nodded.

Markein poured the drink. "I grieve the loss of our king."

"How so?"

"I knew Relek as a boy. He studied ink mixing. On many occasions he asked me to speak for him, that he might…"

The young piratical sorcerer snorted. "No tyrant needs a barkeep to requisition supplies."


"Excepting me," Markein pushed the haughty young Kaminegg's wine toward him. "Nobody ever listened to Relek."

Negg took the drink and addressed Joto-kai. "Do you suppose he is possessed, like my father was?"

Markein shook his head.

Joto-kai scratched his chin. and nodded questioningly toward Markein. "You know something?"

"Althus is more librarian than wizard, but the ablutions—he is very diligent with his prescribed abjurations."

Kaminegg laughed. "Terrified. Althus' message was frantic."

Joto-kai stretched. "What has the man actually done."

"He has canceled our weekly festival—refused to commence it." Markein shivered a bit. "Burned the tapestries in the temple. Screamed for two hours at his ministers."

Kaminegg drank the dregs of the wine. "There's nothing for us to see."

Joto-kai took a deep breath, looking ready to devour Markein. "And yet the court wizard begged us."

"There is a real threat." Markein sighed. "If you do not take Relek out, I fear our neighbors to the north will do so."

Joto-kai finished his wine. "Would you not face conquest in his absence?"

"That is why I fear Althus' actions are in vain."

***

As the last light of sunset drained from the sky, Joto-kai approached the castle.

A single guard with a spear stood near a bell.

"We can't just kill this guard." Kaminegg scanned the area. "Is there another way to meet Althus?"

"Only that would cast a bad light on Althus." Joto-kai led Kaminegg forward, speaking in their native tongue. "Do not harm this man."

"What have you planned?" Kaminegg looked confused. "Do you mean to ensorcel him?"

"Better to kill a man than dishonor him like that." Joto-kai huffed.

"Humans don't always think like that."

Joto-kai simply waved away the complaint and strode up to the guard. "Stand aside. I must visit Althus."

"None shall pass," the guard said, taking his spear up rather too close to the tip.

But Joto-kai grabbed the staff of the spear in one hand and swiped at the guard's shoulder.

By now Negg wore the face of a human. "Do you plan to pinch off his life essence? Can you still do that?"

The guard moved left, ducking his shoulder inches below the swipe and slicing at his left shoulder.

A spray of blood graced the spear, just a flesh wound, as Joto grabbed the guard's shoulder, thumb in his collar bone.

The spear slapped Joto-kai as the guard's eyes rolled in the back of his head.

Joto-kai adjusted the grip.

The guard dropped his spear and stumbled back, trying to punch Joto-kai.

A cold dark dart of energy flew at the guard's face.

At last the guard fell.

"I said do not harm him."

"Subdual."

"That's death magic, Kaminegg."

"It is. And no more harmful than the bite of a shadow raven—ennervating, easily recovered if you survive."

A glancing blow from Kaminegg's ray would knock the wind out of a man, making it harder to remain conscious as Joto-kai pinched off the flow of that same spiritual wind. Perfect magical synergy. "I'd no idea you knew that."

"We're not usually working the subtle approach."

A gray robed man came scuttering down the stairs and stopped. "What sort of ruckus have you–" Genuine fear crossed his features.

Kaminegg stepped forward, claws raised. "Careful."

"You came." Althus dropped his staff. "I am part of this awful regime. Your actions are just."

Joto-kai's bladed hand on Kaminegg's shoulder caused Kaminegg to calm.

"You summoned us. We're here to talk."

"My guard?" He looked concerned. "I am far more guilty than he."

Joto-kai yawned. "I've been assured he'll live."

Althus turned and led them up the stairs.

For a time Joto-kai interrogated Althus on the situation.

Relek had been raised to believe himself useless. Even the staff ignored him. For the most part, the boy maintained the pretense of acceptance.

Then disease and luck had plagued his family and all of the qualified heirs to the crown—and to Althus' job as the court mage—-had taken their illness to the grave.

After explaining, Althus shelved his wand and fluffed his hair. "I thank you for coming, and for hearing me out. I am ready to meet the High King."


Kaminegg laughed.

Joto-kai nodded. "We're not going to kill you. This is your problem, not mine."

"But, this is a debacle… I have nothing to solve this with."

"And so you propose that we kill you."

"That is what you do. You end the lives of those unworthy to rule."

Joto-kai shrugged, looking out. "The unworthy think their lives outweigh their people. They do not call me for help."

"But the damage is the same?"


Kaminegg laughed. "Tapestries burned and festivities ended. The tragedy. The oppression."

Joto-kai whispered in his native tongue, pointing out a book on the shelf.

Althus snorted at the book. "Siezed from a charlatan, those spells were used to rob people of their money."

Negg explained the Aura of Instrumental Objects. The charlatan would present an item enchanted with nothing more than the seeming of usefulness.

His protege's insufferable arrogance saved him having to remind Althus of the same. Joto-kai picked up an ornamental mace that could be described as a scepter.

Kaminegg took the scepter and offered it to Althus, asking. "Could you cast an instrumental aura on this?"

"I cannot sell that, it is the king's property."

Such a hidebound interpretation: a court mage can certainly present a king with his own, newly-enchanted scepter. Joto-kai kissed his fingers and lowered the steepled hands. "Did you not hear of how Alphonsia used this spell to make a man dig ditches with a soup spoon?"

"Ridiculous bards," Althus scoffed, "fill the world with lies and prattle."

Negg leaned in like a lawyer. "So we could not hope to make a shy man more aggressive by handing him a 'weapon' of instrumentality?"

Althus shuffled some papers. "I mean, I suppose—that is, it's a side effect."

"A cube has six sides." Joto-kai sat down. "The front depends on whence you came to it."

Althus' face crinkled as an apprentice, one many years Althus' junior. "But what pursuit shall I name?"

Crinkles that ran entirely contrary to the tao of Althus' face. This man appeared to Joto-kai at once offended and exhausted at the idea that troubles demanded solutions of him.

"You've told us that nobody ever took Relek seriously." Negg strode over and picked up the scepter. "More than any other, a king must intimidate, if he is to function."

"Yes, yes—his tantrums," Althus looked into space as if watching his king perform, "always running after the fact."

Joto-kai nodded and leaned back. "From a man who feels unqualified to issue demands."

Kaminegg looked at Joto-kai. "I think our work is done here."

Joto-kai rose. Relek would soon grow a spine; if not, he would fall to a neighbor. "May you never know what a real tyrant is."

"No, no, you can't leave. I've no idea what to do."

Joto-kai bowed and turned for the door. "Stop thinking like a novice and learn the effects, not just the text."

"I haven't the right to be—"

Kaminegg huffed at Joto-kai as he followed him out the door. "You say I'm arrogant. This man expects a royal decree."

"Entitlement of the unentitled." Joto-kai took to the stairs. "It is baffling, I admit. I wonder was I ever so rigid?"

On the path out, Joto-kai bowed to the guard, sitting holding his head.

He stopped to warn Markein that Relek would be a bit more severe in the coming days, and to inquire at the quality of the ink-making reagents available.