Moving On

A fresh start after being in a poor relationship.

I wasn't running away. I was expanding. Following my dreams and savoring life.

Since moving in with Alex after university, I felt stymied. I thought moving in with him would be exciting. He lived in downtown Toronto.

But he expected me to get an office job and start paying half the bills and half the rent. I had taken the first decent office job that accepted me. Alex said I could move up and make a name for myself, but it wasn't what I wanted. That was his dream, not mine.

Life became drudgery. Get up, go to work, come home. And do it all over again the next day. Where was the vibrancy? Where was the fun?

I expected adventure. At 23. I wanted that excitement. But Alex was so focused on making something of himself - getting promoted and advancing up the corporate ladder. Making money and investing was something he enjoyed. That didn't resonate with me.

The longer I stayed, the more it chafed.

He refused to listen when I shared my feelings. He thought I was being too emotional and my dreams were flighty. .

He wanted a stable, quantifiable life. I wanted a qualitative experience. I didn't want to 'settle',

I wanted my twenties to be so much more, and I refused to let my creative dreams die.

Writing was my refuge and I continued to write despite Alex's scoffing at my attempts. He thought I was wasting my time and wasn't interested in reading I tired to share. He only read the great writers and didn't want to waste time on my "feeble attempts".

In the fall I took a creative writing class at Ryerson. Alex had called me crazy, saying I would do better to take some business classes.

I chose to ignore his negative vibe and kept on writing.

The writing class bolstered my confidence and I made several friends. One of them, Chelsea, got me thinking about making something more of my writing.

“You are so good,” she’d say, “If I had your talent I’d be doing my masters in creative writing.”

With her encouragement, I looked into programs and applied to the Masters in Creative Writing program at the UBC. I didn’t expect to get in.

When I received my acceptance letter several months later, I was stunned. They wanted me. Shock gave way to elation.

I called Chelsea and we went out for a celebratory drink. She helped to convince me to go for it. She knew I wasn’t happy with Alex. We were living more like roommates, than lovers. The idea of a clean break felt right.

I waited until the next evening to call my parents. They were proud, but also nervous. I’d be going so faraway, but at least I’d be close to my uncle.
I didn’t want Alex to know.

Chelsea and I would meet, not just to write, but also plan my getaway.

I had just over six months to organize before classes began in September. I was itching to go now, but I knew I wanted to save more money and plan an adventure to get there.

My parents helped me find a reliable used car. I had decided to drive across the country and make the most of the trip. It was the cheapest option and it allowed me to take all my things with me.

I gave my notice at work at the beginning of June.

I packed my stuff, what little of it I had crammed into Alex's tiny studio apartment. I’d been careful to do this without giving anything away, but Alex didn’t seem to notice. Other things I’d need, I had ready to go at my parent’s place. I would be seeing them for a few days before I headed out.

I never did tell Alex. I probably should have, but I didn't want to hear him laughing at my lunacy. I also didn't want him gripping about me stepping out on the bills, but the thing was, it was his apartment, not ours. He hadn't wanted to get a bigger place after I moved in. He was happy where he was and he was paying enough. My contributions had only made it easier for him to focus on his investments and build his portfolio.

Heaven forbid, we spent any money on fun things like dinners out or taking a vacation that didn't involve staying with his family.

I just left a note on the kitchen counter the morning I left.

I said goodbye to my sad life and hello to my adventures.



Word Count =767 words.