What Games Become

This is a poem about losing the innocence of childhood.

They follow her like a shadow,

even when the sun doesn't shine.



They drifted in somewhere along the coast

when she was a child,

when she played in the sand,

digging,

Hiding.



They slowly wore at her,

pulling down one piece of the cliff at a time.

As she grew,

more appeared,

and soon the beautiful coastal cliffs

began to disappear

deep into her mind.



She would run,

jump,

laugh,

play,

but she could feel it.

She could feel them

creeping deeper.

Once a childhood game,

a whisper in your ear,

giggling in the cupboard.



Now a weight.



Her siblings stopped having fun

long before her.

She'd watched them for years,

watched as their eyes lost their spark,

watched as they came to understand

the stories carried by the people closest to her.

Sometimes she wished

she didn't understand,

that she could take it all back.



They began to follow her

more closely.

Sometimes she'd find herself

following their footsteps

instead of her own.

As if they were leading her.

Leading her into the forest,

where the rain reached the leaves

and gathered,

where sounds echoed

from every direction.



She had never been lost

It was as if the map was her veins



Until

the birds

began to get louder.

They were drawing on her map,

too many lines

she got lost in the web of trees



She tried and tried,

but sleep never lasted long.

Her eyes drifted off,

but her mind couldn't find peace.

The memories of childhood

didn't bring back warmth.

The cold breeze

followed her

throughout the night.



The waves crashed louder.

The tide rose high on the shore

until her castle made of sand

fell.

It was too weak

to withstand that pressure.



Soon,

the echo of the birds

no longer formed a melody,

only noise

distracting her.



You could see it

the weight

in her smile,

in her eyes.

The hazel colour

that once lit up with the sun

carried something heavy.



Somewhere along the way,

biting your tongue,

holding your breath

stopped being temporary.



Every word

held more

than others realised.

Her breath would catch.

Her voice would break.

Her eyes would fill

like the crashing waves.



One day

it would all flood.

The sandcastle

wouldn't be rebuilt.

The game

would never have that hint of joy.



As she carried on,

letting the trees blur past,

she let herself wonder,

just for a moment.



Why?