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Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Fanfiction · #583387
I'm stealing this from a friend- forgive me. An *interactive* game of TorD w/H. Potter
*Ok, basically this is a Truth or Dare game between some of the Harry Potter people. I will start it off, but then people who review it will come up with the truths and the dares. The best one will be used and you will be in the play to give the action to the dare/truthee. So, this is kind of interactive!- go here to place your ideas when you're done reading-
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*

::Quaddy appears in the dining hall of Hogwarts and points a wand (11 inches, Dragon Heartstring, Cedar) to her throat::
Quaddy: Sonorus(voice is amplified like a PA system) Testing 1-2-3. Testing testing. Ok, this works. Anyone who is suffering from a severe case of boredom, come to the dining hall for an interesting game. (brings her voice back to normal)

(Quaddy waits as Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Oliver Wood, Percy Weasley, and Neville Longbottom come in)

Quaddy: Heylos! Welcome! Let's just wait for a little while longer.

(Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle walk into the room, much to the chagrin of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Harry groans and Ron rolls his eyes. Fred and George come running into the room)

George: Don't go into the Potions room-

Fred: We, uh, kinda blew part of it up. Fun and all, but an angry Snape is not a good Snape.

Harry: Is any Snape a good Snape?

Snape: (from the door- he walks in with Dumbledore) I wouldn't say that if I were you, Potter.

(Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle chuckle)

Quaddy: Uh, heylos professors! What're you doing here?

Dumbledore: You said anyone suffering from boredom should come, didn't you? We're here to play the game.

Quaddy: (nods) You I can understand, Dumbledore- you're cool. Snape is... not. He's just not the gaming type.

Snape: I'm in here while my classroom is being rebuilt. (shoots a glare over at the Weasley twins who grin back innocently)

Draco: So, are we going to start any time soon? Or are we just going to stand around here doing nothing?

Quaddy: (rolls her eyes) Shut up Draco before I end up giving you a dare. And, believe me, you won't like it! Does being a Hufflepuff for a month sound nice to you?

Draco: (glares at Quaddy, but he is decidedly pale) Uh...whatever.

(Quaddy chuckles and then winks at the Gryffindors)

Quaddy: Alright, it appears to me that everyone who's gonna play is here already, so...

Neville: What are we gonna be playing exactly?

Quaddy: I was just getting to that, Neville. We're playing Truth or Dare. A person asks someone else Truth or Dare. And, when the person answers what they want, they have to do something or answer a question. Once they've done that, then they get to ask someone else Truth or Dare. It's a muggle game, but it's fun- especially when you want to embarrass the hell outta someone. Now, who wants to begin this lovely game of ours?

Harry: I'll start! Who do I ask?

Quaddy: (smiles) Anyone.

Harry: Alright. Malfoy, Truth or Dare?

Draco: (chuckles) Dare, Potter. Dare.

(What do you want to happen to Draco? Review this and give me your ideas for a dare- make them good! And, no, we CAN'T curse Mrs. Norris! That would be something Draco, or anyone for that matter, would enjoy. No, it has to be torture! Like, chicken suits, embarrassing songs, etc etc)

*****Draco's Dare*****


Harry: Uh...alright. Dare. Good dare...good dare...(walks around a bit, trying to think of a good dare)

Draco: Come on, Potter! I haven't got all day here!

Quaddy: (rolls her eyes and looks at Draco) You, shut up! (looks at Harry) Although he is right- you only have 15 seconds left. Or, I can bring in some help. Which do you want?

(Everyone looks at Harry expectantly, waiting for his response)

Harry: I think I'll take the help, thanks.

Quaddy: Very well then. (snaps fingers and a girl appears) Hello, Tenea

Tenea : Oh, hey Quaddy! Where am I? (looks around) Whoa, is this...Hogwarts?

Snape: (impatiently) Yes, it is. Now, would you get on with it?

Tenea: Get on with what? (looks at Quaddy) What's Snape talking about?

Quaddy: You need to help Harry come up with a good dare for Draco, Tenea. Make it good- I've got blackmail thoughts, here.

Draco: Shut up!

Quaddy: I wouldn't talk to me like that, Draco. I can do something really mean to you. Remember that.

George: Can we turn him into a rabbit, please?

Fred: Yeah, and put him in a pink leotard and tights?

Quaddy: (shakes head) No, although it would be quite funny. It's Harry's dare. Tenea, you have one?

Tenea: Yes, I do! (runs over to Harry and tells him what she's thought of)

Harry: Oh my... that's hilarious! Good idea, Tenea! (grins and rubs his hands together) Draco, I dare you to sing 'You Are So Beautiful'...to Hermione.

Hermione: NO! Harry! How about not?

Draco: (is in shock) Ah...I...um...what exactly is 'You Are So Beautiful'?

Quaddy: A love song.

Draco: AH! I'm not singing to that...mudblood.

Dumbledore: Mr. Malfoy, we don't talk that way here, and I'm afraid you must. It's your dare. And, since you don't know the words, I shall magic them into your head. (waves wand)Lufituaeb Os Era Uoy!

Draco: (is compelled to kneal on the floor in front of Hermione, as the back track to 'You Are So Beautiful' plays in the background. Looks up at Hermione) You are so beautiful-To me-You are so beautiful- To me- Can't you see- You're everything I hoped for- You're everything I need- You are so beautiful- To me-- You are so beautiful- To me- Can't you see- You're everything I hoped for- You're everything I need- You are so beautiful- To me

Hermione: Oi...(groans)

(Everyone in the room except Draco, Hermione, and Snape are laughing loudly- Quaddy is doubled over with peals of laughter)

Draco: (stands up and goes over to Crabbe and Goyle) Shut up, you two.

(Crabbe and Goyle attempt to stop laughing)

Crabbe: Sorry...

Goyle: Yeah, sorry.

Quaddy: (tries to compose herself) Thank you, Draco. And the award for the funniest performance of 'You are so Beautiful' goes to...Draco Malfoy! Thanks, Tenea!

Tenea: You're welcome! (disappears)

George: That was great! I have that entire thing recorded, too! It won't be long before Hogwarts sees this thing...

Quaddy: Good idea, George. Now, Draco, it's your turn. Ask someone.

Draco: (grins maliciously) Alright! I dare Weasley over there!

Quaddy: Which one, Draco? Or, if you're too dense to count to four, there are, indeed, four Weasley's over there. See? One, two, three, four. Not that hard.

Draco: Fine then! The right hand man to Potter! Mr. Second place! Whatever you want to call him.

Quaddy: How about Ron?

Draco: (crosses arms) Whatever. Weasley, truth or dare?

Ron: (is still laughing over Draco's dare) Uh... Truth.

(What will Draco ask Ron? That's up to all of you. Decide the next round of Truth or Dare!)

*****Ron's Truth*****


Quaddy: Alright Draco, time for you to use that miniscule brain of yours...

(Gryffindors snigger, Crabbe and Goyle scowl)

Draco: Shut up, you muggle!

Quaddy: (raises her eyebrows) Muggle, eh? So, this here wand is fake, than, right?

Draco: (crosses arms) Yeah...

(Everyone is waiting to see what Quaddy will do)

Quaddy: Then, waving this around and putting a spell on you so you talk backwards the entire game wouldn't work?

Draco: (is trying to appear unafraid) Exactly!

(Quaddy chuckles)

Quaddy: Fine! Then... (waves wand) Verbum Opposigium

Draco: Cigam od t'nac selggum! Ah ah! (eyes widening) Gnineppah s'tahw?

Quaddy: (laughs) I put a spell on you that makes you talk backwards! Did you forget already?

Draco: Won, em ffo ti ekat! (face is red and he is seriously annoyed)

(Everyone is laughing loudly- even Snape, Crabbe, and Goyle)

Draco: (really angry now) Pu tuhs!

Dumbledore: Quaddy, perhaps you should remove the spell from Mr. Malfoy so he can ask Mr. Weasley his truth.

Ron: Uh... how 'bout not?

Harry: C'mon Ron- it's part of the game!

Quaddy: (nods) What do you think, Oliver? You haven't spoken at all!

Wood: Take the spell off. I want to hear exactly what Ron has to reveal.

Quaddy: Righto then. Verbum Correctum. (waves wand)

Draco: I really REALLY don't like you! (glares over at Quaddy)

Quaddy: And no one likes you! Damn, you're annoying! Now, while you were having a hissy fit, did you manage to think of a good Truth for Ron?

(Draco crosses arms)

Quaddy: I guess that's a no, then.

Herm: I'd say so, too. (nods in agreement)

Neville: So, I guess this means we're going to bring someone in?

(Quaddy nods and snaps her fingers)

Purplecow: Whoa! (sees Quaddy) Chey! How are you, cuz?

Quaddy: (grins) Hey Ryley!

George: This is your cousin?

Fred: She looks a bit...different than you.

Quaddy: That's because I have Turkish in me and she's a cousin through the side that isn't Turkish. That and because she's almost THIRTY.

Purplecow: (reaches over to smack Quaddy but misses when Quaddy ducks) Shut up! Now, why am I here, Chey?

Quaddy: You, my dear Ryley, are here to help Mr. Hissy Fit come up with a truth for Ron.

Purplecow: Ah, so I'm helping Draco, then? Ron? Truth? Hmmm...(grins) I've got one! Draco, come here.

Draco: You come here, muggle!

(Quaddy raises her wand and Draco walks over to Purplecow, who whispers some words into his ear)

Draco: Not bad... for a muggle.

Crabbe: Yeah, not bad. What's not bad?

Goyle: Shut up!

Draco: Yes. Please do.

Fred and George: (hand Crabbe and Goyle some candy) Here. This'll keep you quiet.

(Crabbe and Goyle take candy and eat it. When they finish, they can't open their mouths- everyone laughs as C and G try to talk, but can't)

Wood: That was great!

Quaddy: Yeah, completely! You go Fred and George! (laughs)

Fred: You go?

George: You want us to leave?

Quaddy: (laughs louder) No! It's an expression meaning good job or nice work. I could say you are the...

Purplecow: Chey!

Quaddy: (rolls eyes) Sorry, Ryley. I forgot that you have adverse reactions to cursing. Now, I think you have to leave. Lizzy'll be missing you.

Purplecow: Yes. Good bye, Chey. See you when I want on the computer! (disappears when Quaddy snaps)

Harry: So, what's Ron gonna have to reveal to us, Malfoy?

Draco: (smirks) Alright, Weasley, who do you like?

Ron: Like? As in LIKE like? (eyes widen)

Draco: Like as in LIKE like. Now, this should be interesting.

(Everyone watches as Ron splutters a bit- Snape loses his temper first)

Snape: That tongue in your mouth is used for speaking, Weasley. Answer the question.

Ron: (looks at Quaddy) Do I HAVE to?

Quaddy: (nods) Yes. I pity you, though- I had to answer once and the person walked into the room. He basically as good as told me that I made him sick. But, the person you like hopefully has enough class (looks over at Herm quickly) to keep their mouth shut.

(Everyone nods in agreement)

Draco: C'mon Weasley, get a move on!

Quaddy: (shoves Draco) Shut up, you jack ass! Alright Ron, you can answer now.

Ron: (is redder than his hair) Uh..well..um... Hermione

Quaddy: I KNEW IT! (grins and claps hands together) My friends owe me 50 bucks! Whew! But that's really cute, Ron. Right Hermione?

Hermione: (is speechless) Uh...yeah.

Harry: (sensing discomfort) So Ron, truth or dare someone!

Quaddy: Yeah.

Ron: Can I dare anyone?

Quaddy: If you mean me, yes you can. If you mean professors, yes you can. Anyone.

Ron: Fine then- Quaddy, truth or dare?

Quaddy: Dare.

(What will I end up doing? Will it be incredibly embarrassing? All this next time on Harry Potter Truth or Dare!)

*****Quaddy's Dare*****


(Everyone gasps at the fact that Ron is daring Quaddy)

Quaddy: Well Ron. What have ye for me? (smiles)

Draco: Jeeze...you yell at me yet you're all patient with him.

Quaddy: That's because he's not a jack-ass, Draco. Now, shut up! (brandishes wand)

(Everyone except Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Snape laughs)

Ron: I really can't think of anything, Quaddy. Do you have anyone to help me?

Quaddy: (smiles and nods) Yes, I do. In fact, she's a friend of mine. (waves wand and a girl appears)

Wenston : Quaddy! What's up?

Quaddy: Hey Wenny! What's up is that Mr. Weasley is stuck on ideas for a dare.

Wenny: (nods) The dare is for?

Quaddy: (grins) Me

Wenny: (raises an eyebrow and smiles mischievously) Oh really?

Quaddy: (rolls her eyes) Yes, really. C'mon Wenny, this isn't a soap opera. Get on with it! (shakes head)

Wenny: Alright, alright! (walks over to Ron and whispers some stuff in his ear)

Ron: (eyes go wide) No...that's just cruel! That would be torture!

Wenny: (nods and smiles) Of course it is. This is Truth or Dare. Go on, dare away.

Ron: (shrugs and sighs) Alright...

Quaddy: (waits for her dare anxiously) Okie dokie...

Ron: Quaddy, I dare you to switch bodies with Draco until you have truth or dared someone else...

Wenny: Hey! It was supposed to be a whole round!

Ron: Yeah, but she doesn't deserve such torture! I'm being kind to her, here.

Quaddy: (is looking over at Draco and trying not to puke) Wenny...I'm gonna get you for this!

Wenny: No you won't. Tell me if you want any of our characters to fall in love, alright?

Quaddy: (nods and sighs) Right. C ya! (waves wand and Wenny disappears- turns to the professors) Ok, let's get this over with.

Draco: (is in a state of shock) I have to be in her body? (realizes that Quaddy is pretty powerful and grins) Let's see what I can do...

Dumbledore: (raises wand) Hctiws Won Rof!

(Quaddy and Draco are switched)

Quaddy(in Draco's body): God! I have so much hair gel on my head it feels like it's about to fall off! I mean, it has to be the hair...there's nothing else in this head!

(Everyone laughs)

Draco(in Quaddy's body): I feel really lightheaded. I need gel!

Quaddy: Put gel in my hair and I will kick your ass! Well, as soon as I get back in my body and wash out the gel, I'll kick your ass!

Draco: How do you move in this body? It's so bulky!

Quaddy: Hey, you got a problem with the fact that I'm over-weight? If you do, stuff it! (glares at Draco)

Percy: Quaddy, the longer you argue, the longer you're in that body.

Hermione: He's got a point.

Percy: I know that!

Fred: Go on, get the popcorn. Big Head Boy is going to explode!

George: (pulls out some popcorn) Right.

Wood: Both of you guys stop it! Percy, Hermione, you're delaying it even more! Having Quaddy in Draco's body is freaking me out greatly! Quaddy's too pretty for Draco to be in it.

Quaddy: Thank you!

Crabbe: Hey, are you calling Draco ugly?

Goyle: Hey ain't ugly! He's beautiful!

Harry: Okay(said in the fashion of 'that is really scary)

Ron: How thick could ya get?

Draco: Shut up you two! Quaddy, get on with the dare thing! I'm not enjoying this, either! Except that I have the power now! (waves Quaddy's wand)

Quaddy: (looks at the person closest to her) Wood, truth or dare!

Wood: Dare! And make it quick. I don't like you in Draco's body...

(What will Wood, the Quidditch master, have to do? Make it good, so I can go back to my own body! Too much gel...)

*****Wood's Dare*****


Quaddy: Gaddy! I can't think of anything good...Jeeze, this mind sucks! (sighs)

Draco: Shut up! Yours isn't much better, you egotistical, self-involved, classless idiot! (looks surprised) I don't talk like that!

Quaddy: (rolls her eyes) I do, moron. Now, since I have no idea what to do, I'm calling in someone to help me.

Wood: (nods) Alright.

Ron: Get on with it!

Hermione: (shoves Ron) Shut up, you.

Fred: Well, let's see what happens to our lovely captain eh, Harry?

Harry: (grins and nods)

George: So, bring in the specialist!

Quaddy: (chuckles) Yeah! I'm going to. Draco, snap.

Draco: What?

Quaddy: Snap, you idiot! Snap your fingers!

Draco: (snaps without thinking, then realizes his folly) Oh damn, I wish I had kept the power for myself...

Quaddy: (to the person who's come in) Hey! How ya doin?

Crys: Uh...who are you?

Quaddy: I'm Quaddy. Me'n Draco had to switch bodies until I dared Wood over there. You have anything for me, girly?

Crys: (thinks for a moment and then nods) Yeah, I think I do. (whisper's in Draco/Quaddy's ear.)

Quaddy: That's awesome! But so cruel. Oh well...(looks over at Wood) Oliver, I dare you do don a cheerleading uniform and do a cheer for the Slytherin quidditch team!

(Everyone bursts into laughter as Wood stutters and turns bright red)

George: You, person, are great! That is the best dare of the day!

Fred: Hear hear! I can't wait to see this...

(Harry and Ron are practically rolling on the floor and Draco isn't much better)

Wood: Eh...

(There is a bright light as Quaddy and Draco are sent back to their own bodies)

Quaddy: MY BODY!!! DANCE TO THE MUSIC! C'mon DANCE TO THE MUSIC! (dances around happily)

Draco: My body, too! Ah, my hair! Perfection!

Quaddy: Yeah...right. Well Crys, go back to doing the QB, alright?

Crys: Yeah, see ya! (disappears)

Quaddy: Alright, Wood. Time to don the cheerleading uniform...(waves wand) Mrofinu Gnidaelreehc!

(Wood is now in a short skirt, middriff top, and white sneakers, with ribbons in his hair and make-up on, carrying pompoms. All are in Slytherin colors)

Wood: My God!

(Everyone stares for a moment and then begins to crack up.)

George: Wow, Oliver, you look good, man.

Fred: (whistles) Woo! You go girl!

Quaddy: (laughs) Now, for the cheer... Won Reehc!

Wood: (is compelled to kick, jump, and waves the pompoms perkily while grinnig broadly) S-L-Y-T-H-E-R-I-N! Yeah! Go Slytherin! Score score score! Go Slytherin! Win! Win! Win! Kick the butts of the other teams! Go Slytherin! Win! Win! Win! YEAH! WOO!!! GO SLYTHERIN! YEAH!!! WOOO!!!

(Quaddy's eyes go wide and she backs away)

Quaddy: Ok, I think that's plenty of cheering...

(Everyone else is laughing)

Harry: Come on, Quaddy! Keep is going!

Percy: Yes, this is rather enjoyable, no doubt. Can we make him do another one?

Wood: (is no longer forced to cheer) No! I've completed my dare! Get me out of the stuff!

Quaddy: (turns to Harry and Percy) Sorry guys, but Wood's right; his dare is done. Gotta give him back his clothes. (waves wand) Clothes return!

Wood: (is changed back into his old clothes) That was just wrong!

Draco: (is doubled over in laughter) I wish the rest of the team was here; they'd have payed to see that!

Quaddy: I kinda have to agree with Draco on that. But, Wood, your turn to choose.

Wood: Perce, truth or dare?

Percy: Uh...um...(pauses) Truth?

Quaddy: (chuckles) Alright. Truth it is...

(What will Mr. High 'n Might Perfect Prefect Percy have to reveal about himself? See next time on Harry Potter Truth or Dare!)

*****Percy's Truth*****


Ron: (leans over to talk to the twins) This should be good...

George: I hope he has to admit something juicy...(changes his robes into that of a reporter for 'The Enquirer')

Fred: (changes into a 'The Star' reporter) Tabloid heaven...

Harry: (chuckles) Ha ha, guys! C'mon, let's not ruin it now. This is gonna be some seriously funny stuff...

Draco: I'm not sure- Wood doing a cheer for the Slytherin team was pretty good...

Snape: Yes, quite entertaining...(tries to smile)

Dumbledore: I'm not sure if Wood can top it with any truth. But, let's give him the chance.

Neville: (to himself) I just hope that, if it isn't as good, Percy doesn't try to out-do it on me...

Quaddy: Right. Wood, have you got a truth for Percy to reveal to us? (rubs hands together and grins mischeivously)

Wood: (sighs and runs a hand through his hair) No, I can't think of one...Can I have some help?

Quaddy: So, you wanna use a life line?

Hermione: What?

Quaddy: It's from a game show. Don't ask. So, Wood wants some help. I've got just the person. (waves wand) Hello, Arien!

Arien: (looks around and then grins at Quaddy) Hey, Quaddy! Why am I here...at Hogwarts?

Quaddy: You're here to help Wood come up with a truth for Prefect Percy, actually. And, make it good...

Percy: (glares over at Percy) Should there be such provokation in this game?

Quaddy: (nods) Yes, actually, it is allowed. I want a good secret revealed. Something lucrative...

Arien: I got one! (walks over to Wood and tells him her idea)

Wood: (nods) That's pretty good. Percy, I dare you to reveal the worst time you've ever broken the rules and covered it up.

Arien: Quaddy, I gotta go back now. Need to work on some campfires...

Quaddy: (waves and smiles) Have fun, Arien! (waves wand and Arien disappears) Now, Percy...(waves wand again) Revelus Secretiam!

Percy: (tries to hide it, but can't) I stole something from Snape...

Snape: WHAT?!?! That'll be 50 points...

Dumbledore: Shush, Snape. If you didn't notice it yet, than it wasn't that much that he stole. There will be no taking of points in this game. Go on, Percy...

Percy: (tries to hold it back, but bursts into tears) I was afraid that Penelope didn't like me anymore and took some ingredients to make a love potion called 'Hearts Heavy Draught'.

Fred and George: (together) WHAT?!?! You did an illegal spell and didn't tell us? How could you, man!

Quaddy: (eyes go wide) Well, Percy...(begins to sing) Bad to the bone...bad to the bone...

Percy: Stop! It's a very embarrassing thing to reveal...

Quaddy: (takes pity on Percy- actually, she's just annoyed that he's bawling like a baby) Alright...Percy, do your asking, man. And shut up with the damned crying!

Percy: (wipes the tears away) Um...Professor Snape...truth or dare?

(Everyone but Quaddy gasps)

Snape: Hmmm...

(Ok, what's gonna happen next? Well, send me some ideas of what to do to our favoritest professor at Hogwarts!)

*****Snape's Dare*****


Quaddy: Professor, some time today please...Or are you above the speed laws that you placed upon everyone else?

(Everyone's eyes go wide and Dumbledore chuckles quietly)

Crabbe: (who can talk now that the candy has worn off) Are you insane?

Quaddy: Yes, of course, but that's beside the matter. Come on, Snape, choose!

Snape: (crosses arms and smirks) Dare!

(Everyone looks around at eachother- Gryffindors smile wickedly as the twins bring out a camera and the Slytherins sneak sideways looks at eachother)

Percy: Dare? Hrm...I had a perfect truth for him, but he chose dare...

Quaddy: So, I take it you're gonna need some help?

Fred: Help? Of course he doesn't need help!

George: He's Perfect Prefect Percy! Why would he need help? He'll just whip up something...

Percy: Shush, you two! Yes, Quaddy, I do need help with this...

Fred and George simultaneously: Gasp! Percy just asked for help? No way!

Ron: Cut it out, you two, you're postpoing the dare, guys!

Harry: Yeah! (quiets when Snape glares at him)

Hermione: Shush, all of you.

Quaddy: Thank you, Hermione. Alright...help then...::snap::

Julialookalike: Hello...Oh, is that you, Quaddy? So, does that mean that I'm...

Quaddy: (nods) Yeah, you're at Hogwarts. Now, what was that dare you came up with for Snape? Tell it to Percy...

Julialookalike: (nods and whispers into Percy's ears) Like it?

Percy: (a maniacal grin on his face) Oh yeah... (turns to Snape) Professor Snape, I dare you to let Harry, Ron, and Hermione give you a make-over in any style they want!

Snape: (glares at Percy) You're going to pay for this, Percy!

Quaddy: No he's not. She gave him the dare... (chuckles)

Julialookalike: Quaddy, send me a picture of this when they're done, alright?

Quaddy: (nods) Of course. See ya around Writing.com! (snaps and girl disappears) Right. Harry, Ron, Hermione, I think you'll discover everything you need is right behind that curtain...(waves wand)

Hermione: Oo, this could be fun...

Harry and Ron: (laugh) Definitely...(lead Prof. Snape behind the curtain- Snape grumbles the entire way, but complies)

Quaddy: Well, at least he follows the rules...

Wood: What do we do now?

Quaddy: Wait...(sits down on the ground and listens to her CD player)

Thirty Minutes Later


Harry: (comes out from behind curtain with Ron) We're done with him...(bursts into laughter)

Ron: Everyone, may we know present...Professor Snape! (Harry and Ron throw their arms to the curtain like Vanna White)

Hermione: (comes out from behind the curtain with Professor Snape- everyone gasps and their eyes go wide. Mouths fall open) You like?

Professor Snape has his hair washed and combed back, heavy eyeliner on both top and bottom lids of both eyes, gaudy purple eyeshadow, too much lipliner, bright red lipstick, plucked eyebrows, acrylic nails with fake diamonds on them, and way too many rings and bracelettes. Knee high black high heeled boots, a long, gaudy orange skirt, a long-sleeved bright green shirt that clashes horribly with the skirt, and fake eyelashes.

Snape: (growls deep in his throat) Not only do I look terrible, I look like a cheap whore on the streets...

(Everyone is still in shock- Quaddy's mouth is wide open and her headphones are falling off of her head. She stands up and looked over at Wood, who looked positively frightened)

Quaddy: Oh my God...

Fred and George: (are absentmindedly taking pictures while staring unabashed at their professor) ::said simultaneously:: I think that about sums it up...

Quaddy: (nods) Uh-huh...

(Slowly, everyone recovers from their shock and begins to laugh hysterically- even more so than when Wood did the cheer)

Fred: Soon these things'll be all over the school!

George: We'll sell them!

Snape: Oh, no you won't!

Quaddy: Forgive me professor, but you're not in a position to be menacing...

Dumbledore: (interjects) Alright, children, time to let him go back to himself...

(Everyone groans)

Draco: As much as I hate to admit it, I found that rather funny...

Snape: (grumbles as he changes himself back) Ah...back to my old self...

Quaddy: Aw...couldn't you have at least left your hair clean?

Snape: NO! Now, to get on with things...Miss Granger, truth or dare?

Hermione: (gaining composure) Dare

(What sort of horribly embarrassing thing will Professor Snape make Hermione do? Will Fred and George actually sell those pictures? All this and more next time on Harry Potter Truth or Dare!)

*****Hermione's Dare*****


Quaddy: Ooo...a Dare from Snape. Dun dun dun!!!

(Looks around at everyone else, who all seem to be thinking the same thing as she is.)

Harry: I'm sorry, Hermione.

Ron: (nods) Good luck.

(Snape glares at the two of them while the twins pretend to go into mourning for Hermione. Even the Slytherins seem to have some pity for the girl-if not much.)

Quaddy: As much as I hate to rush this for you, Hermione...Snape, get a move on with that dare of yours.

Snape: Don't presume to speak to me like that, Quaddy. I am a teacher.

Quaddy: And I am in control of this story. I can do pretty much anything I want- even make you have to kiss Professor Trelawney.

(Harry and Ron look at eachother, gag, and then shudder- Snape has pretty much the same reaction.)

Wood: Ugh, Quaddy, even Snape doesn't deserve something like that.

Fred: But, it would be more photo opportunities. We could get some serious blackmail going...

(Sees Snape glaring)

George: Of course, we won't because Snape is such a...fine gentlemen.

Quaddy: (raises an eyebrow) Right. Snape, have any ideas?

(Everyone turns to look over at Snape, who appears to be thinking. Eventually, though, he sighs)

Snape: I'm big enough to admit when I need help. Bring someone in, Quaddy.

(The sound of gasps and surprised comments is heard from everyone in the group- including Quaddy, whose mouth falls open in shock.)

Quaddy: You just asked for...help? My God, there is such a thing as miracles!

Snape: Get on with it!

Quaddy: Right. (snaps and a girl appears in the room.) Hey Campbell!

Campbell: Hey, Quaddy! Am...am I in Hogwarts?

Draco: Yes...yes you are.

Campbell: And, judging by the plastic hair, you're Draco.

(All the Gryffindors, and Quaddy, laugh and Quaddy high-fives Campbell.)

Campbell: So, why am I here?

Harry: You're here to give Snape a dare for Hermione.

Quaddy: (nods) Yup.

Campbell: Really? Ooo...

Quaddy: (laughs) I know, right? Isn't it great? You get to come up with a dare that can be as cruel as you want because it's coming from Snape!

Hermione: (still pouting a bit) Please, don't try anything too bad on me.

Ron: Why not? We all had to do incredibly embarrassing things!

Quaddy: Before we start a fight between the two lovebirds, give Snape the idea you've got, Campbell.

(Campbell nods and walks over to Snape. He leans down and she whispers her idea into his ear.)

Snape: What is that?

Campbell: She'll know- trust me. Just say it. Oh, I've gotta go! (Quaddy snaps and Campbell disappears.)

Snape: (coughs and straigtens his robes) Miss Granger, I dare you to sing "Baby Got Back" in a Southern Drawl while jumping up and down on one leg and wearing a bright pink, fluffy old lady's nightgown. To Percy. And you have to look him in the eyes the entire time.

Hermione: WHAT?!?!

(Harry and Quaddy are the only ones really laughing because no one else knows what 'Baby Got Back' is. Eventually, the others join in the raukous- except Hermione)

Quaddy: (waves her wand) Vestum vertum et...'Baby Got Back'.

(Hermione, despite her unenthusiastic attitude is changed into a bright pink, frilly old ladies gown and being jumping up and down on her left leg. She turns to Percy and stares directly into his eyes.)

Hermione: (in a deeply Southern drawl) I like big butts and I cannot lie- you other brotherz can't deny- when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist and a round thing in ur face u get sprung- want to pull up tough cuz u noticed that butt was stuck beef to the jeans shes wearing- im hooked and I can't stop staring- oh baby I wanna get wit cha- and take ur pictcha- my homeboys tryed 2 warn me- but that butt u got makes me so horny ooooooo rumple smooth skin- u say u wanna get my benz- well use me use me cuz u ain't that average groupie- I seen her dancin- to hell with romancing. she sweat- wet- shes got it going like a turbo jet- I'm tired of magazines- seenin flat butts are the thing- cuz the average black man ask him that- shes got 2 pack much back- so fellas- YAH!- fellas- YAH!- cuz ur girlfriends got the butt- HELL YAH!- shake it- yah- shake it- yah- shake that healthy butt- baby got back.

(Everyone's staring relentlessly and laughing their behinds off as Hermione finishes what she's required to do and stops hopping. Even Perfect Prefect Big Head Head Boy, Percy couldn't keep his face straight. Quaddy and Oliver are leaning against eachother to stay up because they're laughing so hard; Harry and Ron are on the floor; the Slytherins are bright red; the two professors are trying not to look unbecoming but failing miserably, and everyone else is just cracking up uncontrollably.)

Hermione: (waves her wand and changes her clothes back into her robes) That was the most embarrassing thing I have ever had to do in my life.

Harry: Be thankful you weren't dared to throw an exam, Hermione. That would've been terrible. (laughs even louder)

Hermione: Oh, you find it that funny, huh? Well, Harry, truth or dare?

Harry: Hmmm...

(What will the Boy who Lived have to do? Will Hermione ever finish 'Baby Got Back?

Hermione: Not likely!

Shush, you! All that, and more, next time on Harry Potter Truth or Dare!)

*****Harry's Dare*****


Harry: *grins* Dare!

Draco: Another dare. Would someone pick truth and force his or herself to admit something incriminating?!

Quaddy: How about that you wear womens' thongs, Draco? That incriminating enough?

(Everyone laughs except Draco and the other Slytherins, who just look confused)

Draco: For one, what is a thong? Two, what the hell do you mean by that?

Quaddy: *shrugs* I was thinking up something incriminating. Anyway, Harry, you want a dare, yes?

Harry: *nods*

Quaddy: Ok, Hermione, do you have anything planned for Mr. Potter?

Hermione: Honestly...I can't think of a thing. You wouldn't mind bringing that last girl back in to help me would you?

Quaddy: Of course not.

(Everyone gasps)

Wood: You didn't say that we could do call-backs, Quaddy!

Quaddy: You never asked. *chuckles* Ok, Hermione, I'll bring Campbell back. *waves wand*

Campbell: I'm back! Holy shit! Cool beans! Who's Hermione daring?

Ron: Harry, of course.

Campbell: *laughs* Sure thing! *walks over to Hermione and whispers ideas in her ear*

Hermione: No! That's amazing!

Campbell: *nods* Of course it is. Quaddy, should I just stay around for a while?

Quaddy: Aren't you moving?

Campbell: True dat. Ok, I should prolly leave, then. *disappears*

Quaddy: Go ahead, Her-me-own.

Hermione: *rolls eyes* Ok, Harry, I dare you to dance the Tango! Enthusiastically! While in an archetypical, red Tango dress and heels! With...Draco Malfoy!

Draco and Harry in unison: WHAT?!

(Everyone laughs)

Harry: No. Way.

Quaddy: You. Have. To. Right, Dumbledore?

Dumbledore: *nods* Indeed, Mr. Potter. You must do your dare. *waves wand* El Danco Sumpremo!

*Harry is turned into a beautiful Tango dancer, and Draco is put into the suit, with a rose in his mouth. Tango music starts playing and the two Tango around the room enthusiastically*

Quaddy: Actually...they're good dancers...

Fred and George: Indeed. They'll be perfect for our calender!

Quaddy chuckles: Great! I want a copy of anything you guys make from this.

Fred: Indeed, gorgeous.

Quaddy: Thank you, handsome.

Harry: Would you two stop flirting and stop this damned dare?!

Quaddy waves her wand: Finito!

(Harry and Draco stop dancing and are returned to their robes)

Draco: Are other people besides the one being dared supposed to be humiliated during a dare?

Quaddy: Yes. Especially if it's you. Harry, pick someone.

Harry: Neville- truth or dare.

Neville stutters: Uh...um...t-t-truth.

What will happen next time?! NO ONE KNOWS!!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Keep reading and keep the ideas flowing!

*****Neville's Truth*****


Quaddy: And now, after a lengthy lunch break, during which Neville was given an opportunity to stew on what his truth would be...

Neville whimpers: Please be nice to me...

Draco: No one gets special treatment, Neville. Especially not you...

Hermione: Piss off, Draco and leave Neville alone. Or I shall be forced to punch you in the nose again!

Draco blanches: Whatever.

Quaddy: Harry, during the lunch break, did you come up with anything that Neville could answer?

Harry sighs: No. I was too busy...

Fred: What could you have been doing?

Draco: I have an idea. Probably complaining about his dare...

Crabbe: Yeah!

Goyle: Like you!

Draco glares: Shut up you two.

Dumbledore: Come now, children. Let's get on with this.

Quaddy: Alright. I'll bring in someone. Seems to be a theme. You people are about as creative...

Ron: Some of us didn't grow up in a world where we play Truth and Dare...

Quaddy: I'm aware. Weird people.

Mistress Dragonslayer appears: Holy mother...Where the heck am I?

Quaddy: Hogwarts. Remember you gave me that great idea of something that Neville could answer? I brought you here 'cause I wanna hear the answer...

Delphinium: Oh, right! Who's "truthing" Neville?

Harry raises hand: Me.

Delphinium: Awesome! *goes over to Harry and whispers into his ear*

Harry: I thought that was obvious...but, you know, it IS a good question...

Neville shakes: Ok...let's get this over with.

Quaddy: Wait! Thanks, Delphinium! I'll tell you the answer later. Write on!

Delphinium: Alright, bye! *disappears*

Quaddy: Kay, Harry. Go for it!

Harry: Neville, we all know you're frightened of Professor Snape, but...what we all want to know is...why?

Neville: Oh...

Percy crosses arms: I think that's obvious...

Quaddy smiles: Not necessarily...

Neville sighs: I'm...well...Ok. I'm not really scared of him. I used to be. But now I think he's a prat. He's arrogant, he smells, and he thinks so little of himself that he has to bash us to feel any sort of personal validation. Instead of remembering whatever made him a prat and taking pity on the people in whom he sees something of himself, his experiences have, instead, turned him into a person who creates more misery in this world. He lives to spread a miasma of self-loathing and depreciation and drags his students into his own personal hell. *he turns to Professor Snape* Grow up, Professor Snape. Just because your life sucked doesn't mean you have to make all of us share in your hatred of everything because, unlike you, some of us want to life a fulfilling life! GROW UP! *Neville opens his mouth to say something else, realizes what he's just done, and faints*

Quaddy: Way to go, Neville! *leans over to revive him* Wake up! You were awesome!

Harry: *is in shock*

(Everyone stares at Neville as he wakes up. Snape is livid, Dumbledore is greatly amused, and everyone else is in open-mouthed, slack-jawed awe.)

Neville: Where am I?

Quaddy smiles: You're in the Great Hall and you've just done the coolest thing in the world! You totally nailed Professor Snape!

Snape: Yes, Mr. Longbottom. And, for that, 300 points from Gryffindor!

Dumbledore: No no, Severus. I've spelled the points- none may be won or lost while we are playing this game. After the game is over, I will go through and remove and add points if I see there is need.

Harry is coming out of shock: Neville...have I ever mentioned you're my hero?

Ron: Yeah! Way to go, Neville!

Hermione: So well spoken.

Quaddy: Definitely. Ok. Time to alleviate his embarrassment. Neville, who're you gonna Truth or Dare?

Neville sits up: Erm...Fred, Truth or Dare?

Fred: Dare. Bring it on, brotha!

Ok, what will Fred, Half of the Notorious Duo of Hogwarts School, have to do? Will it actually embarrass him, or will it simply be a mere annoyance? Find out next time!!!

*****Fred's Dare*****


Quaddy: Well, after a very intermission in which we searched the school for new players, we welcome some new faces to this game. Luna, Ginny, Colin, Lee, Seamus, Dean, Lavender, and Cho, welcome to Truth or Dare.

Lee: Good to be here! (Lee walks over to where the twins are standing. Fred pretends not to look worried.)

Everyone else mumbles a reply before Quaddy claps her hands.

Quaddy: Ok. Well, here we go. Before the break, our hapless Neville had to come up for a dare for Fred Weasley, wonder twin extraordinaire.

Neville: *nods* Yeah.

George: *excitedly* So, did you come up with something? I've absolutely got to see this.

Harry, Ron, and George all look at one another, look at Neville, and then look at Fred, waiting to see if Neville would be the first to come up with something on his own.

Draco: No one else has been able to come up with something on their own, why on earth would Neville, who can't do anything on his own, come up with a suitable dare?

Neville: *looks over at Draco* I have one, actually. Quaddy helped me look it up.

Hermione: That's wonderful, Neville. What is it?

Fred: *looks over at Quaddy* You helped? You haven't helped before.

Quaddy: *shrugs* I have it out for you, apparently.

George: *throws one arm around his brother's shoulders* Don't worry about it, Fred. I'm sure she really likes you inside.

Crabbe: Like Draco secretly likes Quaddy even though she's a filthy muggle?

Draco: *eyes wide* What...why are you still here? You have absolutely nothing of any import to say! *facepalms*

Quaddy: Creepy. Anyway, before anyone remembers repressed memories of abuse, let's go Neville.

Neville: *coughs* Fred Weasley, I dare you...to find ten people, outside of this room, whom you have pranked and allow them to pull a prank on you.

*silence* *a cricket chirping*

Ron: Bloody hell, Neville.

Fred: *blanches* 10?

Quaddy: Yes, ten. I wanted twenty. You can thank Neville for it being lower.

Fred: Why do you hate me?

Quaddy: I don't. I'm hardening my heart toward you because I've read book 7.

Fred: Hunh?

Quaddy: Don't worry about it. Just go.

Dumbledore: *waves wand* Tabula Verta. Have fun, Mr. Weasley.

Everyone watches as Fred walks out of the room. After a few moments, they hear a poof and some girlish giggling from the hall. Then a groan.

George: He'll be ok, won't he?

Harry: Have you guys ever done anything that could hurt him?

George: Not...that I know of. I think.

Ron: Well, there was that one time...

Lee: Let's just hope that Celia went home for break. Otherwise I think Fred will be traumatized for a while.

Snape: *sneers* I think this will be good for the boy. He's entirely too smug.

Quaddy: Pot, I would like to introduce you to Mr.Kettle.

Dumbledore: *chuckles* That is rather true, Severus.

Draco: *aside to Quaddy* Crabbe has clearly been imperiused. I have no clue what he's talking about.

Quaddy: No imperius spells in here, Draco. But...the sentiment is cute.

Draco: *muttering* Filthy muggle.

Quaddy: Sure. Anyway, while we're waiting for Fred to complete his dare- Ginny, would you be so good as to follow behind your brother and make sure he comes to no harm- why don't we sit down? Anyone know any good stories?

Ginny runs out of the room just as a howl is heard from the other side of the school. Everyone, especially Neville, winces sympathetically.

George: Quaddy, I think you're lucky you've already gone. Fred might be out to get you after this.

Oliver: Yeah...if not, I will. Don't ruin my Quidditch team, please.

Quaddy: Oliver, you...aren't even relevant anymore. You graduated!

Oliver: So? This is fun.

Quaddy: *shrugs* Alright. So...stories?

Dean: *raises his hand* I do. Ok, so...there was this one time...

So, Fred is out having his ass handed to him. We don't know what'll happen. If he comes back, we'll have another round. Until then, til next time!
© Copyright 2002 Professor Q (rainangel at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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