Who am i?

This is a kind of tribute to anyone who has a friend/relative in a war

Who am i?

So much killing, can't take much more.
Armed with a pistol gun. Shells on the floor

Can't die. Not right now. Must complete my occupation.
Got to get to strong hold. Must reach my destination.

Too much to think about: My family and friends.
Upon this mission - their lives depend

I need to see them - one last time
I need to see them - one last goodbye

How the hell did i get caught up in this. I didnt ask for it
What the hell is happening. For this task i am unfit.

It's freakin' me out. I can't do it for much longer.
But God says ill die sooner or later- so why bother.

But is it the place, is it the time to die.
God please tell me:Who am i? Who am i?