Confession

I shouldn't be writing this

We joke
He's wonderful
And I'm so drunk
It's dangerous to write
But he's my best friend
I've decided
I can't talk with anyone like I can him
Others, everything
Just have to wait
I feel stronger
And certain
Once I've spoken to him
Empty when I haven't
With no inspiration
No motivation
What can I do next?
I'm scared
It's obvious and I'm going to be a
Fool again
I have to hide away
And smile as we joke
We're friends after all.