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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/831455
by Kenzie
Rated: E · Prose · Nature · #831455
Autumn turned to winter right before my eyes.
The Leaf Danced
by Marilyn Mackenzie


Autumn turned to winter right before my eyes. I arrived in northern Michigan at the end of autumn’s beauty. There were only some leaves of yellow and red gracing the trees, and I knew I had missed seeing the real magnificence of fall. Still, having been away from northern climes for twenty-five years, those few remaining leaves of golden hues were enough to remind me of what I had missed all those years.


A few days after my arrival, cold winds blew around my sister’s home. I watched from the warmth of her home as those last pretty leaves fell from the trees.


One particular leaf landed on her porch and performed the last dance of autumn for me. The stem of the leaf landed in between two boards on the porch, and the wind blew harshly. That leaf swirled, twirled, and danced as I watched. What a performance! How sad that I was the only one around to see the leaf dance.


A few days later, as we drove a short distance from my sister’s home, the winds picked up again. This time, white flakes of snow whirled and twirled before us. Winter arrived in blizzard form.


Soon a blanket of snow covered the ground around us. Trees were trimmed in white. The scenery would have made a perfect Christmas card.


Snow continued to fall, finally totaling over six inches of the white stuff on the ground. Gazing out the window, from where it was warm and cozy, I thought that the snow-covered grass and trees were just beautiful.


I smiled, realizing how fortunate I had been to see the last leaf of autumn swirl and twirl her last dance. In her place was winter’s glistening snow.





****************************



That was how I described what I saw. That was my first draft.


Here is how I might change what I wrote. What do you think? Which one reads better to you?




The year was 2003. I had lived in either Florida or Texas since 1978. The only time I saw snow was when I worked as a regional sales director and went to meetings in Kansas City, Missouri each February. I had not experienced Autumn for all those years. I remembered that I liked how the leaves looked all dressed up in yellows and reds and oranges. I also remembered that I hated - as an adult, anyway - raking those pesky leaves.


I sat alone in my sister's norther Michigan home. She had rescued me from an abusive relationship in Texas. My mind was numb. I wondered if I would ever feel again.




The Leaf Danced
by Marilyn Mackenzie


Autumn turned to winter right before my eyes. I arrived in northern Michigan at the end of autumn’s beauty. There were only some leaves of yellow and red gracing the trees, and I knew I had missed seeing the real magnificence of fall. Still, having been away from northern climes for a quarter century, those few remaining leaves of golden hues were enough to remind me of what I had missed.


A few days after my arrival, cold winds blew around my sister’s home. I watched from inside, all warm and cuddly near the fire as those last pretty leaves fell from the trees.


One particular leaf landed on her porch and performed the last dance of autumn for me. The stem of the leaf landed in between two boards on the porch, and the wind blew harshly. That leaf swirled and twirled as I watched. What a performance! How sad that I was the only one around to see the leaf dance.


A few days later, as we drove a short distance from my sister’s home, the winds picked up again. This time, white flakes of snow whirled and twirled before us. Winter arrived in blizzard form.


Soon a blanket of snow covered the ground around us. Trees were trimmed in white. The scenery would have made a perfect Christmas card.


Snow continued to fall, finally totaling over six inches of the white stuff on the ground. Gazing from inside where it was warm and cozy, I thought that the snow-covered grass and trees were just beautiful.


I smiled, realizing how fortunate I had been to see the last leaf of autumn swirl and twirl her last dance. I wonder…is that her lying before me in a heap of winter’s glistening snow?



© Copyright 2004 Marilyn Mackenzie
© Copyright 2004 Kenzie (kenzie at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/831455