still to be written; plans made
| Tumultuous, tempestuous, trying, tiring, this walk has been those things and more, so much more. Plans of forever, dreams of escape, ponderance of alternatives, resignation, all pieces in the road traveled. Cloudy skies, cold, and rain are here today; outside, inside. Blame for the failure, where does it lie, here, or there? What does it matter now, when did it matter for the end result, the final song will still be sung to a tune of goodbye? Choices made for no other routes there were, actions unalterable by the forces of will, and pride. Improvident behavior at best and worst behavior at most.
Give him up? Never asked and wouldn't matter if question placed for too much water gone and thousands of doubts cloud the mind. Live with him there? Cannot, will not. Heart broken, plans shattered, forever marred by two children unable to place the pieces in the right slots. Nothing left now but remorse and sadness for to play the game again cannot be done; the shadow hanging there in the mind and competition for love breaks all tenets of what is right, in this mind.
Time for perusal of caskets, of sites and the music though all can be thought of now is holding on, finding relief from the mess wrought by idiots, foolish. Sad day, much more, words not here and don't exist. Death knell.