Old Timey English essay on the plight of newbies and some members
| Aye, twas ye tyme for alle goode palmeres of ye Newbie caste to come from hither and yon unto ye scole of Wrytyn.comme to studye Wrytyn and ye Englissh. And as shoutes of "Alle is fayre yn luv, war, and Englissh" resounded throughe ye ayre of ye holts and Newbies riden out, I dysconsolatee pondyrd myn sytuatyon and corage.
Ye maadnyss come upon me thenne. Ye scole of Wrytyn.comme had putteth out a decree fore alle that knew ye mysteryes of Englissh to abandyn theyr committmentes to instruct and holpen ye Newbies ynstead.
From hither and yon ye worthy Revuyers came who grynnethe through payne and ecstasee alyke as ye Gryffyns do. Notte contente wyth mortyl Englissh scyence, ye Revuyers dabbyld in ye Blacke Artes and summonyd up ye terryfyng powyrs of ye Punctuatyn, Sentynce Structyr, and ye dreadyd Danglyrs! Loud were ye Newbies' wayles and moans of lamente, butte ovyrcome they shalle.
Author's Note: This piece is purely for entertainment purposes only. It's been a long time since my semester studying Chaucer. Any "worthy Revuyer" wants to come in and get technical, go ahead and enjoy yourself.