"It's not you, it's me. I can't date anyone who drives a Chevette."
|Truth, dating make strange bedfellows|
The most difficult part of dating is that moment when you realize, "I could never be with this person."
Maybe it's the beginning of the first date when he picks you up in his rusted-out Chevette filled with molding take-out wrappers.
Maybe it's the middle of the third date when he pauses during conversation to wipe marinara sauce off of his face with his sleeve.
Maybe it's the way his laugh reminds you of the illegitimate love-child of a braying donkey and a flock of honking geese.
There just comes a time in most dates where you decide that the relationship needs to come to an end - and the sooner the better.
Ending a bad date has become easier in the twenty-first century. Most cell phones can be set to ring at a certain time so you can just pick them up, feign family or work emergency and tell your date you have to skedaddle.
The problem comes when, as you leap from the table and prepare to sprint for the fire exit, your date asks, "When can I see you again?"
Telling someone you're not interested is never easy. Manners and tact stop us from telling even the most grotesque person straight out that the only way he'll see you again is if he stands outside your house with a telephoto lens.
So how do you give someone the brush off without feeling like you've run them over with an 18-wheeler?
A variety of methods come to mind. If you know you want to end it before the exchange of phone numbers, you can slip him the wrong digits. Then, when he can't get a hold of you, it's just an honest mistake.
If he already has your phone number, you can just stop answering his calls until he finally gives in and quits calling.
If you're in person and he's pressing you to set a date, just try to avoid making a commitment. Tell him something like, "I'm totally swamped at work this week. Can I just call you if I have time?"
Occasionally, attempts to give a polite brush-off won't work and you're forced into a confrontation.
At that moment, you have several options. You could try one of the classics - it's-not-you-it's-me gets better with every use.
You could go with a lie, tell him your grandma died or you met someone else. You could tell him your ex came back into town or any number of personal crises are stopping you from dating at the moment.
Or, you could skip all of this, and tell him the truth.
Sometimes it seems that truth and dating have become estranged. We all say that we want to know the truth when it comes to dating, but we don't follow through by telling others the truth we would want to hear. We sugarcoat things, we play it cool, use devious means to slip out of commitments and generally lie our way out of situations we don't feel like dealing with.
Maybe it's time we stand up and tell the truth.
Maybe it's time we said, "It's not you, it's me. I just can't date anyone who drives a Chevette."
And let it go at that.