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 |   Poetry and Prose about life, family, thoughts & Lesbian concerns of heart |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Come in for a visit. I write about my life as a daughter, mom, grandmother, friend and life partnership with my lesbian wife. You may smile, laugh or cry, either way you'll have learned about life in America since 1938. ANN And, my friend, I understand because all my silent years I was so deep into my church and Christian activities and feared 'sin' and felt shame when 'sex' was mentioned. Nobody spoke of the "horrible" sin they would not name (the rape of a child); At the same time, I watched ministers and deacons and Sunday School teachers sneaking around committing adultery, while I desired and lived 'without sin' as I knew sin to be as I was taught. I thought and studied the Bible and realized how today's preachers and teachers condemn only what they don't do or what a church leader has said to condemn; I've seen the woman run out of the church but not the man; I saw enough, and I knew the heart of love within me, from all through my life had its focus; it was never about 'having sex'. ...Heck, I didn't know about homosexuality until my college years; then I understood my heart and there was never a sexual thought associated with anyone before my marriage to the man who 'chased' me three years then almost murdered me 16 years later as my children heard the physical fight. After that I stayed single Mom, never dated, just had many friends and my children. Finally after raising my grandson, and knowing my own heart would never ever seek love from a man, I acknowledged that all my life, all of my relationship experiences and feelings clearly showed I had a heart that was drawn romantically with deep love that I could not ever express. Then I moved to Portland, came out and you know you can read the rest of the story. I know how God created my heart. If I don't believe God created me as I am, how could I live? It has nothing to do with 'doing' anything at all; it is 'being' as my Creator created me. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................ I retired in Idaho then moved to Oregon to show my pride as a member of the latest hated group across America: I am a lesbian and when I came "Out at Sixty", I came with pride and joy that I no longer had to hold the secret or carry the shame thrown at gay men and lesbians. With that same pride, I accept all persons and their right to be who they are and live with joy, peace, and the pursuit of happiness. I took a writing course at age 69 and began to write short stories, poems, essays, Op-ed comps and I found Writing.com where I am an Advocacy Writer, writing as an advocate for every person to have Civil and God-given rights each day as they pursue happiness for themselves and their families. Yes, most of my writing has been about gays and lesbians, however, I believe every person in the world shares the same heart and spirit to live peaceably with all peace loving people; while seeking to change the minds of those who live with anger, hatred, prejudice, racism and such. |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 386: Prompt Monday December 9, 2013 Prompt: Do you have a photo of a family member or pet is especially precious to you? Why is it important? My picture is of my mother and I wearing Christmas red; hers is a lovely red dress and mine is my red wool jacket which I wore with dark slacks and a white blouse. It was the happiest memory I have of me and my mother. I had driven from my home in Idaho to Modesto, Callifornia to visit her one Christmas. Mom was always critical of people and three of her four children. Her love was conditional. It was never easy to figure out what the conditions were since the favorite child, the one never criticized was an alcoholic, unkind to his first wife whom she hated but whom I loved, I lived until I was past forty just trying to earn my mother's love and to please her by making life better for her when I could and made my own personal decisions to make her proud or 'not be hurt'. For instance, I stayed in an unhappy marriage extra years because I didn't want that good Christian woman to feel bad because her other three kids already had divorces and mine would make it 100%. She criticized the way I cut or didn't cut my hair, my dess style, and far too much. Her last four years of life, she remained angry at me because her favorite son's wife had stolen her special photographs and blamed me so mother believed the thief and learned to hate me until just before she died, she saw the photographs in that thief's home, her son's home. So for me to have a picture with mother in our Christmas red at the party, during my visit, is something wonderful. Since Mom has been gone, I've cried and tried to let go of my hurt feelings and anger and just remember the moments she and I shared love and a special time together. That picture is my favorite memory of my mother for she treated me like a loved daughter all that Christmas week Mother I'm thinking about Mother today. I wasn't there the hour her God let her spirit fly toward the Heaven she taught others about for fifty years, the place her baby spent those years. I can see her now, holding him close, reaching to receive her daughter's arms, feeling the arms of her parents around them. Their presence together gives to my heart an image of love, a sweet blessing, a precious peace, overflowing love, calmly sweeping through me in this hour, in this place, this moment. It's been seven years since Mother left the body, racked by a stroke and joined those she loved on that Other Side of Life, somewhere beyond the trials, fears and worries of this life. Finally, this day, this hour, I found the depth of grief long buried in denial and negative memories; And today, I've set the loss and those things behind me and I reach only for shared, positive, wonderful memories of my mother and me. We depended on each other so many years, and demanded a perfection neither of us could attain as human beings with so much to learn as mother and daughter. I've learned the last lesson. Mom, now we're at peace. Your daughter, Ann ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "for showing yourself,not being afraid to do it: You are inspirational". "Ann:honoring "OUT IN LOVE". You're helping to open the minds against gay's relationships,and supporting those struggling with their sexuality everyday.Keep up the amazing work!"Joy |
| It's snowing like the dickens, more snow than you have ever seen in your life. It's that special kind snow man snow. Prompt: There are no shovels, all you have is your hands and your creativity and lots of helpers. What are you going to build with all that snow? We got a light covering of snow here in Portland, Oregon. The first in eight years and it was windy cold. Today is December 7, the date that always reminds me of December 7, 1941. My parents spent the day listening to the radio. I was only three so the war didn't affect me until Dad joined the Navy and was gone for four years. I'm posting here the chapter in my book, A Renewed Life, as a way of showing how families spent that day and the next when President Roosevelt spoke to the nation and the world. Chapter Nine Pearl Harbor December 7, 1941 The next morning Anne turned on the radio and was shocked. The announcer said, "America has been attacked by the Japanese. Early this morning hundreds of Japan's planes attacked Pearl Harbor and destroyed America's Navy. Thousands are dead and fires are still burning on the military base and areas of Hawaii's nearby towns. President Roosevelt has called Congress to speak to them tomorrow morning. This station will carry his message in full." Anne shuddered and wrapped the blue and white crocheted blanked around her. She turned up the volume so she would not miss a single word or the terrible news. "We do not know the extent of the damage at the deep harbor where America's fleet of warships were docked. We can report ships were bombed and, if still afloat, they are burning. Thousands of America's servicemen and civil employees have died as the bombs and Japanese fighter pilots have destroyed our ships and killed hundreds or thousands of personnel. "Hawaiian Territory radio broadcasts have described seeing the faces of the Japanese pilots as they circled the island of Oahu, dropping their bombs and shooting rounds even at the houses in their sights. "While neither the President or Congress has declared war against Japan, we expect the President will call for that declaration in his address tomorrow morning." Anne wept. Her tears were for those dying and suffering in Hawaii and for the many who would be called on by the nation to fight a war against the Japanese. That meant her brothers would have to go to war. She shook, not from the winter cold, but with fear of the deaths war would bring into America's homes. "Oh God, don't let my brothers die in this war. I gave up Robert and I just can't give up my brothers. Please." The weather continued to be chilly and cold and snow had begun to fall in early December. When it is cold in Oklahoma, it is severely cold because of the pounds of humidity that fill the air creating a dampness that leaves everything wet and frosty. Fireplace heat tends to dry the air somewhat; therefore, Anne could be cozy when she sat near the stove or fireplace to absorb the warmth. The next morning Anne turned the radio on before building a fire in the wood stove, December 8, 1941. She didn't want to miss a word of the President's speech to Congress. Quickly she prepared hot tea then took a breakfast roll from her screened 'pie save' cabinet and sat beside the radio. President Roosevelt began, "Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a day that will live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan." He went on to detail how Japan had been pretending to negotiate toward a peace in the Pacific while their naval ships, loaded with war machines and materials were rushing to attack the American territory and naval base. After the speech, all radio stations reported on the damage resulting by the Japanese attack. "More than 2,300 Americans are reported dead, The U.S.S. Arizona was completely destroyed and the U.S.S. Oklahoma capsized and the attack sank or beached a total of twelve ships while nine others were seriously damaged. Over three-hundred airplanes were destroyed or damaged . Because Japan had been negotiating with America toward peace in the Pacific, the attack was a complete surprise and the base was unprepared for war." The President's final words made it clear that war had begun. "Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory and our interests are in grave danger. "With confidence in our armed forces - with the unbounding determination of our people - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God. I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, Dec. 7, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire." Anne had no energy to focus on her usual morning activities. Her fear of the coming war sapped her strength. Eventually, she picked up her sewing and began to hem a silk handkerchief. Hours of silence passed slowly. Periodically, during the day she turned the radio on again to hear an update of the news. Knowing war was ahead, she realized things like batteries for her radio would not be available for the general public. The nation would focus on products for war, not for peaceful uses like listening to soap operas on the radio. Anne was glad when Mandy came by that afternoon. Her visits were always a bright moment in what could be a long winter day; and she appreciated Mandy's initiative in keeping the wood box and coal bucket full. After she was satisfied Miss Anne had enough wood and coal ready for her to put into the coal heater or the fireplace, Mandy sat at Anne's feet to talk about discussions at school that day. "Mr. Thomas brought his radio to the classroom so we could hear President Roosevelt's speech. So I know what's happening in our world today, Miss Anne. It's terrible that we're now at war with Japan. Will we go to war in Europe too? I hope not." |
| DECEMBER 6TH PROMPT Prompt: Do you believe world peace is achievable? No, I do not believe world peace is achievable. As long as there are different nations, religions, forms of government, human beings, there will be strife, confusion and wars. In the written history of the world, religious wars have always existed. Even when there's no dying, there is fighting with words and deep held beliefs. The fighting happens within the religions themselves. Today is a perfect example that world peace can never exist. Democracies have developed in many countries but religious differences today between Christianity and Islam with one group's most conservative members declaring death to all of the other religion. Of course that will not happen but it will continue to create strife, not peace. Within democraces like America's, peace does not exist between religions or even within religion. Look at the constant battle of words between the "religious right' who think all other Christians and all other religions are wrong. Peace cannot exist where religion divides people. Peace cannot exist when one leader or nation wants to expand its borders or its political power beyond it's national borders. The world today shows that. In Syria and Afghanistan such warring has been going on for decades, not just the latest decade. As long as individual people are greedy for money or power, there cannot be world peace. One thing in the Bible is true, somewhere in its chapters are the words, "There will always be wars and rumors of war." That's true; and it's sad that it is true. |
| DAY 381: DECEMBER 5TH PROMPT Do you watch TV game shows? Why or why not? I no longer watch game shows but I was of the generation that made game shows popular on NBC, CBS and ABC when those were the only channels in America on black and white Television. So those who love TV game shows can thank my generation for proving they are great TV. Now, I selectively watch detective and cooking shows on many different TV channels. I have an important topic on my mind today so will write about it. Having sufferred from Clinical Depression, a physical-medical illness NOT an emotional illness, and am worried about all the other people like me who are over the age of 65, on medicare because no other insurance has ever been available for us OLD people. The reason for my extreme worry and some tears shed today is because there is NO psychiatrist in and around Portland, oregon who will take anybody who is on medicare as a patient and it is against the law for us OLD people to pay the psychiatrist and all doctors the amount of their normally high fee which is deducted before medicare will pay. TRUE: NO psychiatrist in this area will take us OLD people who worked all of our lives and earned the money that pays for our medicare, will even see us. Worse, the law does NOT allow other physicians or psychologists or anyone other than a trained psychiatrist to prescribe medicine we need for clinical depression and all mental illness medications. That means every OLD person over 65 on Medicare may committ suicide this year when their illness drives them to the lowest emotional and physical point. They have no source of medication that keeps them on a normal and even emotional and physical level so they can live a good life. What about your grandparents or great grandparents? You should worry about their need for medical care. You should know if they need antidepressants or other mental health prescriptions AND that they cannot get any medical help because no psychiatrist will see them. If you don't know their mental health need, ask them NOW and find a way to get them the help they need. I'm assuming you see your grandparents and great grand parents occasionally. Did you see the movie "Solient Green"? If you did you know why I realize America is moving toward "Solient Green" for our over 65 citizens today. The movie is about the fact that society and government have decided any person over 65 should die and quit eating food around the earth and have designed a 'nice pleasant' death for them. If you are not visiting your grandparents and great grandparents, you are helping "Solient Green" days to come into society. If you are close to them, thank God for you for you are in the minority. I'm asking you to be close to them AND to help get the word out to your physician and social organizations to push for total response to the needs of mental illlness for everyone even if they are OLD and past 65 and on Medicare. Please help make this happen; nobody else is. Ann, grandmother and great grandmother of seven who may know "Solient Green" if society continues down this terrible path of ignoring the needs of OLD people, still YOUNG at 65 but in need of medicatiosn. ANN I spent four hours today dialing numbers all over Portland's area seeking someone to upgrade my prescription for antidepressants. I cried and grieved when no help was found. When I reach the 'bottom' only suicide is the next path.... That's so scary to me. ANN |
| Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 381: Prompt Wednesday December 4, 2013 Prompt: Have you ever experienced a miracle at Christmas or any other time of the year? No, not if a miracle is something that could never have happened without some magic against normal possibilities. Magic doesn't happen, it is contrived with natural possibilities a human brain can understand if known. Answers to prayer do happen but are they 'miracles' from some god on high? who can know. Yes, I have had answers to prayer, so I can call those miracles. Yes, I have seen a sick person including me, healed, so I can call those miracles. Yes, human law enforcement officials have stopped a kiling from happening; can I call those miracles? Life itself it a miracle so I have experienced life. Every day I can breathe in air, even polluted air, and stay alive, that's a miracle. Giving birth three times to tiny babies that grew in my belly were three miracles I have experienced; I don't understand how life enters a mass of flesh, but it is a miracle. Human beings experience miracles every single day they are alive with all their body parts doing what they must to keep the human alive; those are miracles every moment of life. The existence of this earth and the universe is a miracle so all of us experience the miracle of living on the earth, with the sun in the sky and the stars at night. All are miracles. Existence is a miracle for me and you and all of us. amen |
| Prompt :On December 3rd, 1967 the first successful heart transplant was performed. What suggestions do you have for each of us to keep our heart healthy? Give us a great pep talk about how important it is and what we each can do to get there. I'm 75, do you want to live to 75? Then take care of both your heart and your brain. The best advice for both is to eat nutritious food. That means no more than three teaspoons a day. That means no soft drinks or alcohol because they are both loaded with one or more of the 114, one hundred and fourteen different kinds of sugar; all of which are dangerous to heart and brain health. Too much sugar, especially sugared drinks like cocacola adds fat to the blood and leads to dementia in the brain. Maintain a normal weight by reducing sugar intake each day. Sugar from too many sources destroys the liver, especially when from alcohol, thus putting a massive job on the heart to deal with all the poisons that flow through it. Learn all the names of sugar whether from sugar cane or molasses or corn syrup or fructose so you will learn how to avoid those filled with sugar. There's a federal law protecting those who manufacture all the food you buy in the market so they never have to tell how much sugar is in the food. Thus a simple can of creamed corn may be loaded with more than the three teaspoon daily amount that should not be increased if you want to live to 75 or even to 50. Exercise daily even a twenty minute walk is healthy for heart and brain. More is better and more often than one day a week will give you more time. Stop smoking or allowing anyone to blow second hand smoke in you home or car or face. The damage done by smoking to the heart leads to death and by smoking leads to dementia. Americans are far too fat and too much of the fat comes from sugar, so the dietitians and scientists tell us. So reduce sugar and reduce the amount of fatty fried foods you eat if you want a healthy heart and brain. Reader, if you think I'm just saying these things to you, please know you're wrong. Yesterday I learned just how damaging sugar can be to both brain and heart. So today I've begun a new habit with less satisfaction: I have given up cigarettes and my CocaCola and Dr. Pepper and very sweet tea and coffee. I never did like just plain water except on hot days in the sun. It's going to be hard but I don't want a heart attack, stroke or dementia. How about you? |
| Prompt: We have 31 days left in 2013, looking back over the past 11 months what have you accomplished? What have you left to do? And are you already thinking ahead to 2014? |
| NOVEMBER 29TH PROMPT Prompt: Now that Thanksgiving is past, what is your favorite Christmas jingle? I think you mean Christmas song. From my childhod, my favorite has been "Upon the housetop, reindeer pause; out jumps good old Santa Clause..." In my young school days, we sang many songs, especially at Christmas. Our classes would practice them present a Christmas play at the rural schoolhouse where I was in fourth through sevneth grade. Everone in the area would come to the Christmas play at the school. Rural communites were united around the school. I remember those days with joy and I know I got a great education in those small schools with four grades in one room studying the subjects at their grade levels. I say that because I graduated from college with high marks. God bless those rural school teachers for they had a difficult job. I respect them so much even though none are out there in rural America anymore. ann Thanks, |
| Prompt: Scour the news for an entirely uninteresting story. Consider how it connects to your life. Write about that. |
| It's Wildcard Monday! Prompt for November 25, 2013 What is your first reaction when you forget something? Take us through your initial terror and following thoughts. Anecdotes are helpful! One day when my children were pre-schoolers, we spent the afternoon at the City Park in the small town of Payette, Idaho. Our best friends, a family of five, were with us. It was a perfect day at the crowded park. Dozens of children played in the play-equipment area, the slide, swings and other apparatus. Out dog, Useless, a beautiful German Shepherd was with us. After perhaps three hours of having dinner and sliced watermelon for dessert, we adults loaded everything back in the station wagon, called for the kids to get inside then we did. My husband drove out of the parking place and past the slides, swings and such. One of the older kids looked at the children playing there and saw a little boy at the top of the slide, a five year old. He said, "that looks like Tracy." Sudden all of us in the packed station wagon realized Tracy was not in the car but on the slide having fun. "How could I, the mother of the precious little boy, have forgotten him that hour." I was furious with myself and believed it to be an unpardonable act. Tracy was brought to the car and we went home. As a man who served the U.S.Air Force for 27 years, he still laughs about the story; and he's forgiven me for forgetting him that day. |
| Prompt: Name three songs you could be convinced to sing at karaoke. My grandchildren asked me to quite singing when they were eight, late in life I guess, because I can't carry a tune. For Karaoke I might sing "Happy Birthday to You" , "Jesus Loves You" and "I wish you a merry Christmas." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
for showing yourself,not being afraid to do it:You are inspirational.A.J. Lyle:Ann:honoring "OUT IN LOVE". You're helping to open the minds against gay's relationships,and > supporting those struggling with their sexuality everyday.Keep up the amazing > work!"Joy |
| Prompt: In the United States, Ben Franklin wanted the turkey not the bald eagle for our country's symbol. Which would you choose if you had been able to vote? Or would you have chosen a totally different animal? Why? If you don't live in the US, does your country have a symbol of a animal or something different? Enlighten us. I think Benjamin Franklin, the namesake of my great great great great Grandfather Benjamin Franklin Stuard was RIGHT when he said the turkey, lowly as it was in the forests and hillsides of America, should be the symbol for America. Molly and I own a pet turkey, T-Bird is intelligent, compassionate and kind. She loves to learn as indicated by her interest in our neighbors who stop at the front fence to converse with her. T-Bird will chatter in her 'turkey talk" then pause and look the person in the eye as they talk to her, then she 'turkey talks' and then listens to the person. She is compassionate to her fellow feathered friends, even cleaning the feathers of the hen whose beak is deformed so she cannot clean her own feathers. She loves to be held and soothed by people. She sits beside small children so they can touch her and sit beside her. (T-Bird's photo is on my WDC Biography with her head sweetly on my shoulder.) Eagles are beautiful in a scary way. The never live among people but High in treetops in huge nests which they build on year after year. Happy Birthday to my dear sister who was born on November 23, 1939, in my grandmother's bedroom. Linda Gayle was a wonderful person to be around. If your spirits were low, she made you laugh and forget your troubles for a while. We miss her very much now. She died instantly of a brain anyoursm at the young age of 57. Now five of the seven members of my family are gone. My younger brother and I miss all of them. God bless Linda today. ANN |
| How did you come up with the title for your blog? When I decided to join the Blogging Circle of Friends I knew a blog was where I would post my thoughts, feelings, disappointments, joys, life experiences, concerns about life and others, and all such things, I knew I wanted to write honestly and kindly. I wanted to write what I felt at the core of my being, my heart. I've lived and will always live that way, with my heart in all its honesty and zest for life even when dealing with disappointments and negatives. In other words I've lived with my heart, my soul, my very being, the 'me' as created by God and whatever is the way of Creation. From the true part of me, my heart, is my way of living so naturally, I knew I would be in my blog what my heart and sense of being is. Thus, "Living with Heart" is about me and "Hope you are too" is about my readers. Writing my thoughts on the blog each day is done as part of the BCOF activity as well as for me. What do I think? Why? What are my hopes? Must I always write what everyone else agrees with? If I did, I would not be being honest. So I write from that inner part of me that is glad to have this short time on earth to express what's inside me from all the experiences of my life, both good and bad, just being who I have become after my seventy-five years of living. Ann |
| Prompt: I just realized that we let BCOF's year-long anniversary go by without celebrating! We've been going for a year now, we've had a lot of fun and a lot of blog entries. We've grown a lot in the past year. So, I'd like to know: what was the best year of your life? How can I recall the best of 75 years? I don't think I can. Was it the year I graduated from college? NO, because i got married two weeks later mainly because of pressure from parents, society and church as well as the guy who had been chasing me for four years. By the time the year ended, twelve months, I was pregnant and the husband had hit me. When he did, I got up from the floor, turned the other cheek and said, "Hit me again. If you do, I will be gone in a minute forever. He waited until the sixteenth year to hit me again and then I divorced him. Was it the year I came out at sixty after keeping the secret in my heart from age sixteen? No, because with all the joy and happiness of feeling free to say "I am a lesbian" and found new friends and the sweetheart I've had for fourteen years, I also lost my best friend of thirty two years. Yes, she was so angry I had come out as lesbian, she dropped me as a friend. We had been best friends and I'm sure many people thought we were so close we might both be lesbians. As it was, she hated the idea that anyone would think we were lesbians and feared all who knew us would think she was one after I came out. Sadly, I lost a dear friend who I believe is and always was a lesbian but she had such fear of being one that she could never acknowledge it. It's very sad to me that fear, anger, hatred prevents people from being who they are and know deep in their heart. For me it was freedom. My children accepted me as the lesbian I said I was. I don't think I have ever had a 'best' year; there's a problem in each specific year I think about. Maybe that means all those I cannot remember or think about WERE the best years. I'll accept that. |
| On November 19th, 1997 in Des Moines, Iowa, Bobbi McCaughey gives birth to septuplets in the second known case where all seven babies were born alive. They would go on to become the first set of septuplets to survive infancy, with all seven alive today. Prompt: Is it an advantage or disadvantage having siblings the same age as you? What do you think its like living in that house? What about going to school and half the class is your siblings? Good questions. Among siblings, their culture depends on who's older and who's younger so the pecking order is important. With all siblings the same age with varying emotional maturity levels, I think it would be difficult to 'find your place' as you grow up socially. Since all are learning life at the same age each day, siblings of the same age can be more helpful to the one. Liv\fe of the Dionne triplets was newsworthy all of their lives; not all grew into well adjusted adults; I've often wondered how their different paths were destined. No two children grows up in the same emotional environment. The attitudes and behaviors of each child toward the other is different; some become the one all the other 'pick on' and struggles to survive emotionally. I would not like to have been born with my siblings on the same day. |
| Prompt: You have been appointed recreation director for BCOF, we have chosen to go hiking. Where are you taking us? What sights will we see? Have you been there before? Will we need any special gear? Welcome to Portland's Oregon recreation department. Today we are taking a hike through Forest Park. There's a twenty mile trail through the largest city-owned park in the world. As you look to the westside of Portland you'll see a forested mountain range rising above the Willamette River. Our pioneer forefathers wisely claimed it as a City Park long ago. I hope you're wearing your best hiking boots and clothing. Since it's a beautiful summer day, you'll not need warm clothing, but comfortable 78 degree clothing such a shorts or light pants. Alongside the trail is a bicycle trail so don't go there and get in the way of mountain bikers. I trust you brought both water and a lunch snack with you. You'll see marvelous vistas of the rivers, the Willamette and the Columbia, the City of Portland, Mt.Hood and Mount St Helens as well as other volcanoes with their snow-covered peaks which can someday blow away in another volcanic eruptions, not expected today. Enjoy the coolness under the variety of trees, not only fir and pine trees but numerous dicidious trees. You'll see squirrels and all manner of wildlife. Look don't touch when you're invading their home. Have a great hike. |
| Prompt for November 15, 2013 What was the last thing you laughed about? Make us laugh about it as well How many apples grow on a tree? I don't remember laughing moments. My sweet wife, Molly, is always saying or doing something that makes me laugh. Her personal sense of self is that when she makes someone laugh, she is doing the most valuable thing she wants to do. Having someone laugh at her being or saying something funny "makes her day." It was her making me laugh that drew me into her heart and her into mine. I said something funny seldom; so seldom that when I did, my kids would laugh and say, "Mommie made a funny." Molly and I laughed hardest lately when we saw that insurance ad with the children around a table and one says "I'd turn my brother into a puppy." Asked 'why", she responded, "Then I could take my puppy to school and say 'this is my puppy brother'. The funniest part was the delightful response to her comment by one little girl who turns her face upward, her eyes buldging and her mouth open" to show "I don't understand that." Molly and I laugh everytime we see that expression on the little girl's face. ALL the apples grow on a tree.  |
| Prompt: Do you ever feel unwanted or excluded in anything? How do you cope with these feelings? This prompt is so personal, my stomach tightened and my skin 'crawled' when I read it and had to think of the topic. It's so personal and I don't think I've ever been asked such a question. Before I was sixteen, I was a quiet mouse in the corner. My sense of self had been so injured by life experiences, I felt invisible or wanted to be invisible. Like all hurting children and youth, I buried those feelings. That's exactly why they came to the surface when I read the prompt. Any feelings, emotional, physical or memory related that gets buried is still in the physical body, the mind and the memory. Too often the "quiet mouse in the corner" "invisible child" "insecure child" becomes the same kind of adult because their trauma, fears, embarassment, sense of self doesn't get any healing. The healing comes through "the best school teacher I ever had" or "the aunt or grandparent who loved me so much" or "an opportunity such as schooling, moving to different town, family alcoholism is stopped, parents divorced, writing out the feelings of the painful moments, a caring friend, a best friend, and other positive influences that allow the person to speak it out, write it out, or decide to replace it in a conscious way, or other way of getting the pain out. I felt unwanted, unloved, thrown away, those three evenings my exhusband had me at the floor pinned with his knees and choking the breath from me. Lately, I blogged about that and told another person about it.... WHEN I did speak or write about it, my throat muscles tightened and I started choking, coughing and losing my breath. YES, that's what happened physically as I wrote or talked about those fear-filled moments. It will take more to get the trauma, unwanted feelings outside myself. Similar response to and for me when I've dealt with the childhood sexual assault and fears from childhood when I've been in individual or group counseling. Other steps: stay away from the person or group who makes you feel excluded/unwanted. My alcoholic father whom I miss very much died at age of 45....but the events caused by the alcohol that were damaging to my sense of self STILL were inside me. My mother died at 88 and in all her love and pride in my accomplishments in life, she could never quit being critical of the little things in a big way of words. Those might be how I did my hair, my dress, my other clothes, how I did.....anything... no they weren't important but the words over and over hurt deeply so I am still dealing with the feelings her words caused...If you've read my poems about Mother, you'll see the progression toward the healing I'm going through still. She expected perfection and I never gave her any big thing to criticize as the other three kids did so she criticized the lessor things...but the pain hit my insides every time and I couldn't stop it............so I moved 600 miles away when I was 22 years of age. So now you can understand why I write open and honestly about those kinds of things: the writing helps my body, emotions and memories to get cleaner. and the writing may help one other person to deal with theirs and stop being prisoner to those feelings 'unwanted and excluded' words and actions cause in one's sense of self. ANN |
Prompt: 6:00AM: the best hour of the day, or too close to your 3:00AM bedtime? The best hour of the day? I have no set schedule but it is never the first hour I'm awake. It takes time to really wake up to the day's reality. These days during my retirement and writing years, my sleep patter is wild. It changes daily. I do not have to meet anyone's schedule, not a boss or a family, just my own. As you may note regarding my blog entries, I may post them at 3 am or 3pm, or I may be asleep through 6 am....varies daily. Now, I sleep when my eyes and brain tell me to and I awaken when they tell me too. It's great to be in charge of my daily schedule except when time passed and I missed posting a blog by the deadline. I write it immediately when I get the prompt but have to wait many hours before I can post it; so I forget sometimes. |
| November 12, 2013 Writing Prompt November 12th 1815 Elizabeth Cady Stanton was born, she was a noted women's rights activist. PROMPT: Why do you think women were not allowed to vote for such a long time? Easy answer: total prejudice and discrimination kept women from being allowed to vote, just the same as why blacks are still being barred from having their votes cast or counted in America's 'old south' where discrimination and prejudice are rampant. The same was true in England before women could vote and are still the reasons women can't have same rights as men in many cultures. Hate is based too often on gender, race and sexual orientation. As long as such hate exists in human society there will always be discrimination and prejudice. If the Bible believers and other religions of the world would give up their hate and believe in love and acceptance, then the hate would stop. Americans ultra conservative Christians do not follow the primary precept of their Bible: "love your neighbor as yourself" which they have rewritten in their hearts as 'hate anyone not exactly like you". They're headed for the Hell they preach about. So says this former Southern Baptist who quit believing anything they said or taught in their churches: Ann Patterson |
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